Just.....

Don't even bother to know how I feel...
The woes and wherefores of my life
as I teeter precariously on the brink
of the sane and insane.

I have known sorrow,
sorrow that has cut down
to the marrow of my soul.

Oh, I ask not for your pity,
as if you would give it anyway.
But, for understanding,
Understanding and perhaps, peace.

Whether it be
the peaceful permanency of oblivion,
or the small joy of a little caring in my life,
it matters not.

Inky blackness spews forth from me
like some caustic carcenogen.
Eating away at the very me that makes me....ME!!!

Leaving behind a bitter wasteland,
devoid of all hapiness, Joy....Love.
All cries for help unanswered,
too long have I hidden behind the clown's mask.

I AM A JOKE!!!!
My whole life some sickly, humorous thing
for your viewing pleasure.

Everything about me is wrong.
My alliances...wrong
My looks...wrong
My loves...wrong

Unappreciated and overwhelmed,
my life is a cesspool of stagnant morals,
emotions, hopes and fears.

I was alive once long ago...
I once had the audacity to think
that I might have a bright future.
My, Did I stray from the beaten path!

To one of briars and brambles,
detours and devices,
Ready to ensnare, ensnarl, destroy and devour.

Until I am the battered hulk
you see before you today,
a forelorn vessel,
battle scarred and weary.

Tattered sail and broken masted
Stoidly weathering storm after storm,
maelstrom upon maelstrom,
awaiting the final crashing blow.

That flash of lighting that will send me
plummeting to the bottom of my inky abyss.
To my watery grave in which I will be
and shall every remain.... Just me....