Engulfed

My opus...but reading it now, could use some polish!

The fires of vanity, the mires of insanity,
The simplicity of beauty;
The wires scrambling, rambling,
Gambling on a money shot, a funny thought
In the path of my mind’s crosses,
Ending all for naught.
The right one, the wrong one, the entire lot;
It scares me, ensnares me, trips me up, rips me
Limb from limb. Sink or swim, I rise up and think to win.
One last time, I drink the gin,
Swallow hard, blink it in...my tears catch me tripping.
I’m slipping from the peak of my wisdom,
Living meek but I quiz ’em, list ’em all to see the truth:
You are living proof I’m engulfed in your flames.

Sorry for crying, my eyes blinded by your effervescent surmise,
A story of mine, dying in sliding surprise, your glory is divine.
The pleasure of you is fine, it’s mine, your infinite soul
Burns holes of love through a tortured frame.
Your simplistic goal; not money, not fame, not everyone’s love,
Not screaming your name, not biding your time, not fighting the rain.
You’re easy to please, the sight is plain,
To see you’re needed to be a light to my brain, and I want you.
Haunting chains bind spirits held fast, and stuck the blade.
Truly jade, soothing, fade; I’m washed clean of your grave.
An enticing engage, I’m wasted, wrecked;
Willing to wage, to bet on time,
Your silly games trade in spades,
My passion consumed
By the engulfing entrails of your listless flame.

So sickly do the words from me flow;
A torrential rain, a tremendous show
Of wickedly splurged ideas that grow,
A residential pain, in my head it’s slow;
Evil thoughts, filtered fluid drops
Of good pain and bad joy,
A searing, sane, drifting toy.
A boy, a coy young person in the body of a man,
Who understands your mind, knows mine is like wine...
Maybe too weak at first but finer with time.
I don’t mind the wait, the sugar is cane, is sweet,
Its grain like sands through my hands; my fingers can’t stand the
Scalding demands I require.
I set my eyes higher, to skies that can’t be reached.
I preached all I can to you; you left me no choice but to choose the ultimatum;
Leeching, stalling, fanning your flames.
I played your games verbatim.
You were near but far and masked your scars from me,
Knowing you were weak, indecisive to meet,
I was, so to speak, unstoppable, impossible to capture your heart,
I became uncrossable.
Listen to each syllable closely; choking on my words, I don’t breathe, I won’t leave.
I won’t deceive you, I want to be you, with me, with ease, with pleasing grieve.
I don’t deserve you, I won’t desert you, and I can’t believe you think I would hurt you.
I love you, I’m lost without you.
I stop to think but you took my thoughts too...you robbed me clean,
You ripped my dreams blatantly, and I stopped to scream;
Satanly, matronly, I wait patiently
For you to see: your flames aren’t bleak, your fires not weak, and I’m not out.
I’m in, swimmingly with sin in your fires, I’m engulfed.

Now when I first saw your face, I was amazed;
The beauty, the grace.
I was dazed, crazed with emotion; the motion set in,
Jetted and wetted my whistle,
a thistle in my hand and a crack of the whip.
My heart galloped on, my body thrummed like a drum,
Raged like a caged lion.
I tried to tell you I’m dying but I fell through the cracks,
My lip split, I was racked with sobs,
Stopped to catch my fleeting breath.
I feel death knocking on my chest, clenching with stress.
I arrest, feel it come down; the lights fade out, the smells, the sound.
The air itself is heavy as the world crashes.
It burns, dances away on its heels, it smashes,
Me thrashes me prances on my mind, it lashes.
Fashionably romantic, the feeling I get—I’m hit with it.
I bet I know the answer, the reason behind
Every crazed comment, the romance divine.
I am enslaved by your torment, solace defined.
Holding my line, my life, the sign, my strife; my master design
I am flawed but not counter-aligned,
Mismanaged dreams saunter from dry wells.
I’m felled by you like the redwood mighty, sliced by blue
Licks of lightning, it's frightening, the kiss you blow.
I feel the glow of your love blossom,
To fires of colors, of power so awesome...
It engulfs me.

The methods of mayhem I induce to use
To get you to see this heart you abused,
Are my words on display. I’m not right to infuse you
With a sense that you lose?
That you lost something great; I’m right here, it’s not fake.
The crush on your shoulder is but a small pebble
To the gargantuan boulder I hold on my back.
The arrogant soldier who slings bullets and tracks
Behind enemy stacks.
I’m trapped in limbo, a flagrant violation of a martyr’s life code.
I’m right though to think that you left me to flail.
You gave me no choice; the water must bail
From the bottom of the boat—I want to set sail,
Leave this world alone without fail.
You must see me for what the autumn does nail.
The times have changed, rearranged the deranged insane delay.
It’s all I can say, I cannot explain the rage you fueled in my pain.
I cannot stay afraid of what you might say.
I must move along at a pace you are afraid to tread...
You dread all the crazy dismay.
That I serve you with love, with care, to unnerve you, I stare
Into your empty eyes and want to alert you
To the flare you burn into my swath of care.
I’m losing my mind, you choose to find
The true thing that binds you to love.
So with words I’ve defined and chosen the decline
Of all the good you bring, I shove away.
I’m so scared to let you go, but it’s all I can say
To make sense to myself.
What do I do now? Who do I talk to
When you’ve been my release, you’ve been my peace?
You have been the ear that needed to cease,
To hear true lies, so simply deceased.
You’ve folded my heart and wrinkled the crease.
You’ve boiled my soul in searing hot grease.
You’ve left me alone and I’m scared to persist,
I’m scared to carry on into the mist.
The gist of it is this:
I fell for you.
I live for you.
I knelt for you.
I dealt for you.
I took a chance and wept for you.
I slept with you.
I touched your hair.
I talked to you.
I made you see I cared.
I stared
Into my mind’s eye...
I craved to feel your transforming body
Deepening and pour your love’s liquid
Into my fire, steepening;
But alas,
It’s lost.
The flames have tossed
And taken hold
Of your butterflies
And engulfed you…