I carry a briefcase. It is filled with sand. I have nothing to do with my time, so I collect restraining orders from celebrities. In the acrid plateaus of North Eastern Tibet, the nomads call me "Deft-Swing Freddy" on account of my toast-proficient boomerang skills. And my name. Which is Fred. They aren't a particularly formative people, but they do make a delicious stew. I plan to one day own a van. I'll drive it around. And around. Life is the BEST.