I am still trying to gain control of my voice and would appreciate any criticism you may have to offer. Don't worry about hurting my feelings by saying "this part sucks" or something of the like. But I may counter your comments with a few of my own. I am here to discuss my own work as well as the work of others, so I have no problem with strict criticism. I am becoming more interested in the minimalist styles of Hemmingway and Ray Carver, so please give advice or criticism with that in mind.