Meth: a Ticking Timebomb Gone Viral

Choose Life

I remember when my brother, who is an alcoholic, stopped drinking fourteen years ago. No one was more relieved than I was because he wasn't a nice drunk, and growing up was a nightmare if/when he was under the influence.

He counted days, weeks and years...he still counts the days since his last drink, and I'm wondering if this helps, or if it is just a badge of honour. AA has their twelve steps and this may have something to do with it.

He doesn't drink anymore, but he still smokes cigarettes, and one day, I asked him about sobriety. I am proud of him because quitting alcohol is not easy, but he tells people he is clean and sober, and my question was, how can he say this when in fact, he is an addict?

Well...he has rarely spoken to me since and his argument at the time was that alcohol changes behaviour, whereas he can have a ciggie and be perfectly normal.

Unfortuneatly (or fortunately depending on which perspective you are seeing from), I'm not a moron, and said to him, "Ok, give me your pack and let's see if your behaviour changes in the coming hours and days."

Of course, he didn't particape in my little experiment, but it begs the question...what exactly is sobriety?

Many addicts will stop using one substance by replacing it with another. They quit drinking but smoke more pot or whatever the case might be, and while I am in no position to criticise anyone, for me personally, this kind of drug jumping is not something I want to do.

Strangely enough, another reason (justification) my brother used to continue poisoning his body with the nine thousand or so chemicals contained in every cigarette, was because he had quit drinking, and smoking was his reward, and no one was going to take that away from him. Which is fair enough...we all have our own outcomes, and if someone doesn't want to do something, they simply won't do it.

Today, I thought about my own abuse of meth and as much as I thought it was a lame excuse for my brother to continue to smoke, it dawned on me that I have been doing the exact same thing for years. My excuse was...I don't drink alcohol, smoke pot, use pharmies, heroin, blah blah blah...so, that made it Ok for me to use meth...it was all I had left to get by on and I'll be damned if I was going to give up the one thing that brought a little joy, and a lot of comfort to my life...classic denial.

It's hard to see things when they happen right under your own nose, yet we see other's problems because for one, it's easier to see them from a distance, and, it's much easier to point out someone else's faults and flaws, than it is to face up to our own.

Political correctness will see the term 'sober' gone...replaced by some other acrynim...which I don't mind...I mean what is it anyway but a word?

I choose not to use any chemical that causes dependence or changes me in a way that is not healthy or positive to my life.

So today, on my 57th birthday...and about to leave for my first meeting to talk about the reasons I felt the need to dull myself down, I choose life.