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3 Public Reviews Given
3 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Oh the Cost  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
As i read this, i swear i could hear TAPS in the background. It highlights a very important thing that many overlook when it comes to war, especially when it comes to people without family in the military. That point is that whether or not they like to admit it, some one must pay the price. Nothing comes free. Whether it be blood or freedom given up, someone has to carry the load and pay the bill. I wish this wasn't true, that man's blind indifference to man was just a figment of someone's twisted imagination, but it isn't. My hat is off to you (to them as well) for honoring those who die their country. They might have believed in it, they might not have, but they died for me, for you, and for something that will be forever enshrined. If i had the choice, I'd die too if it meant that my brothers and sisters could be free for another minute. Thank you.
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Review of La' Guillotine  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Honestly, it is hard to criticize this piece because there isn't much left to adjust. To start, the rhyming scheme is very well thought of. The format of two stanzas in AABBC DDEEC etc puts a twist on the meter of the poem. It's unique in such a way, as was the times in which it describes. Also, if i am correct, I believe the man in the poem's love was helping King Louis XVI escape from France to Britain. The historical relevance of this piece enhances the taste, for me anyway, because it shows the past and what it must have been like. Now, after saying all this, there are some things you could change, though i hardly think they are necessary. In stanza 8 line 1 for instance, i was moved by a scene of horror, his love is about to and....i start hearing a steal drum from Jamaica playing with bongos...to me, the "drum of steel" reminds me of, well, a steel drum. It is probably just me, but I think using a different end of the phrase, keeping the rhyme would be good. For instance, perhaps: "The drummer drums, his cadence heal" . This implies the drum roll stops, which means the blade comes down. I believe it would fit in well. My only other suggestion would be stanza 9 line 2, an adjustment of words could be used to get rid of the word "the", because it was used a lot. A reformation suggestion i have would be: "And then a stirring, rallying cheers" . Other than that, this is very well written piece. You have talent, share it out more, that's what i would do.
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Review of Smoulder  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
When I first read this poem, I had to go back and read it again. It was like something was lingering in the back of my mind, some distant thought that this poem gave me. The thought that someone considered to be below us could long to not only be like as, but be with us. The more I think about it, the more i believe the poem you have wrote here not only shows the dark side of unrequited love, but a struggle that all have when love is not shared with the other. Just think that when someone loves you, they think they aren't good enough, they think they are below you, yet are graced to have you love in return for theirs. My hats off to you and i say this poem is far better than anything i could have ever written.
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