The Absence of Wavelength

sorry dad, I was a kid

I had empathy for the love starved
before he left me underfed

I could not find a trough next to yours
now with it's gold, engraved plate affixed.

Did I dine on their tender mercies
whenever need suddenly...

Now? I realize?
how alone my father felt.

But what is this?
Why do I still starve?


2.2.22
6.11.24

no notes to figure out aim of poem I just changed, to add two line verses, redirect attention to dad who wasn't making me younger brother the enabled, but it was everyone for himself. I didn't know I was responsible for my own feelings at that age. Now, conditioned by life as the starved, I realize dad had it worse and I'm still hungry for something that I can't see to sink my teeth into. Is that the aim? I know poem falls short at this point.