Wonderland 2024

E-1. Invitation for the Duchess

PROMPT ▼

There's a grand event taking place in a fictional land of your choice. Create an invitation worth salivating over.

You are cordially invited to Introvert Paradise's annual retreat!

Introvert Paradise is the preeminent community for introverts and others who just plain don't like socializing with others. We've made antisocializing into an art form with our state of the art compound on our own private island. If you're in need of some time away from other people, you'll have the following to look forward to:

Arrivals. What better way to start your visit than an arrivals process completely devoid of human interaction? That's right, once you step off the charter flight where none of the flight crew or other passengers are allowed to speak to you, you'll be able to check into your room at a remote kiosk that involves no personal interaction whatsoever!

Residences. Each of our suites is a completely freestanding building separated from all the others by hundreds of feet of walking paths and tropical jungle. Even better, each of the pathways is "one way" only so you never have to have that awkward experience of approaching a stranger and wondering that the appropriate distance is at which you should offer a quick greeting!

Leisure Activities. Our entire facility is stocked with equipment for individual sports (swimming, golfing, et al), single-player video games, binge-watching television series, etc. There are no team sports or collaborative activities to be found here!

Meals. No communal tables or group reservations here, friend! At our upscale dining room every table is a table for one, each seat optimally arranged so that you're not in the direct line of sight of any of the other diners. Order and pay via one of our iPads, and enjoy our waitstaff who have been instructed not to make eye contact or polite conversation with you.

If you'd like to attend our introvert's retreat this year, just click on the link at the bottom of this email and fill out the online form. We promise that you'll never be contacted by a live customer service rep and will never sell your personal information, because we hate those interactions too. After all, our employees aren't just employees; they're also Introvert Paradise members! Sign up today!


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