The Ethereal Friendship

Friends

Marissa

         “Angie, I’ve got something for you.” I grinned, when I came into her room that day, holding a paper-back book behind my back.
Angela was lying in her bed, looking very weak and tired. Her face was gaunt with dark circles under her eyes, and even her long hair looked thinner and drab. It was as if her illness had drastically progressed over night. It was hard to see her like that.
         “Hello, Marissa.” She smiled, softly.
Tomoya was playing a videogame with the Spiderman boy who wore his mask around the back of his neck so he could put it on anytime. In contrast, Tomoya now had a Pikachu mask resting on the back of his head. He paid no attention to me.
Figures.
         Adrian was laying in his bed and didn’t look well as Arcadies watched him like a concerned mother. A sketchbook rested on her lap, and she was doodling something inside it that I couldn’t put my finger on. Only Maria was not in the room. It disappointed me, because even though she’d hurt me the night before (I had a bump on the back of my head now), I had worried about the newly diagnosed girl and wanted to ask if she was alright.
Instead, I took the book out from behind my back and showed it to Angela.
         “Oh my goodness, is that…” Angela trailed off. “The Never-ending story!” her eyes lit up and she sat up in her bed. It made me smile, glad to see her happy.
         The Never-ending Story was an old 80s movie we both loved about a boy who is transported into the fantasy book he is reading, and has to save that world from destruction. Angela and I would watch that movie almost every time we got together. She was the only one who owned a copy so we would always watch it at her house. In fact, her copy was in the hospital play room right now.
There were many sequels to the movie but they all paled in comparison to the first one. And like many films, it had been based on a book that none of us had gotten the chance to read.
Until now.
         “How did you get it? I thought it was out of print.” She asked.
         That was what I had thought too, but there it was, sitting on the shelf at Chapters bookstore with a nice new cover.
         “They republished it.” I smiled, and handed it to her. But she hesitated to take it.
         “What’s wrong, Angie? Don’t you like it?” I asked, feeling a bit hurt.
         “No, of course I like it!” she insisted, but then she turned her eyes to the ground. “I just find it hard to concentrate now. I have trouble reading.”
         “Oh…” I started, feeling bad now. “Well if you want… I can read it to you…” I said, thoughtfully not sure why I was suggesting this. “It would be like when we watched the movie together, right?”
         Angela smiled. “I’d like that.”
         I sat down beside her on her bed, and opened the book to the first page.
         “The Never-ending Story by Michael Ende…”
Angela closed her eyes, but she still smiled slightly.
         “I’ve never read a novel aloud…sorry if I mess up.” I told her.
         “You can’t mess up. Not a story like this.” Angela said, turning to me.
I looked down at the title again, and took a deep breath.
         “If it’s never gonna end, Angie, we can’t stop OK.” I said to her, not expecting what her reply would be.
         “It ends…” she breathed. “Everything ends.”
Her words sent a chill down my spine, and I felt shaky.
         “I’m sorry, Marissa.” Angela said, noticing my discomfort.
I shook my head and picked up the book again, drowning my thoughts with the sound of my own voice.
~
         “Marissa, I think she’s asleep.” Adrian said, softly, when I’d read well into the second chapter. I looked over and saw that Angela was fast asleep, breathing heavily, and leaning on my arm.
I sighed deeply, and pulled the blankets over her before cautiously getting up while trying not to wake her.
         “Night Angie.” I whispered, suddenly feeling sad to see her so tired and too weak to even read her favourite story.
         I knew my friend was getting sicker. She definitely wasn’t getting any better. I’d even heard the doctor say she wasn’t getting better. But I wished she would.
         “You’re a very loyal friend.” Adrian said to me, and I turned to the thin boy who I’d never really talked to, and sighed.
         “I had friends like you back when I was in a general hospital where I live. They’d see me whenever they could. But this hospital’s too far away.”
         “I’m sorry.” I said to him, not knowing what else to say.
         “I’m glad Angela has a friend like you. She has it rough.” He continued, looking over at the sleeping girl. I nodded in agreement.
         Yeah, Angela had it rough. Real rough.
I looked over to Tomoya, and saw him still playing the videogame, and getting brutally beaten by Spiderman,(played by Robbie).
I crept up to the little boy, and swooped him up in my arms.
         “You ignoring me today, huh? Where’s my ‘hi’, huh? Tomo-kun~” I asked, playfully.
         “Nooooooo~” he squealed, struggling in my arms.
         “Ret go!” he mispronounced ‘Let’. “Supaidaman izu going to win! Nooooo~”
I brought him around the room, and then dropped him back on his bed.
         “Marisha-onnee-chan wa baka! Baka, baka, baka~!” the little boy shouted when he saw that Spiderman had pulverized his samurai character.
         “Uh oh…You’ve got him saying the b-word.” Adrian said.
         “What?” I asked.
         “BAKA!” Tomoya shouted at the top of his lungs.
         “Shh, Tomo, Angela’s sleeping.” I told the little boy, putting my finger to my lips.
         “Neru?” he asked, turning to Angela, who, surprisingly was still asleep.
         “Neru…" you just translate words back to Japanese, don’t you? You can speak English can’t you?” I grinned, and tickled him, knowing the verb he said meant ‘sleep’ from the dictionary I’d been reading.
         “Noooooooooooo!” Tomoya giggled, rolling around on the bed.
I stopped when the little one had had enough, (well, more like when I had had enough), and smiled at him, my anxiety dissolving from playing with him.
He was a little stress-ball.
         “Tell Angela I said goodbye, OK?” I asked him, and he gave me the peace sign, smiling with his little white baby teeth gleaming. I gave him the peace sign too, and put my long, slender fingers to his tiny, chubby ones.
         “Keep coming…” he suddenly said to me.
         “What?” I asked.
         “Don’t sutop….like Kari-onne-chan, ne, Marisha? Marisha to Anjira daisuki.” He said, struggling with the language again.
         I didn’t understand all he had said, but his mentioning of Kari brought tears to my eyes. I wiped them away and then hugged him.
         “Don’t worry, Tomo-kun. I won’t stop.” I promised, and stood back up. “Take care of Angie for me, k?”
"Un"
~

         Angela took a turn for the worst after that. She grew weaker and thin. Her arms and legs were again horribly bruised, and her lips became cracked and chapped. Sometimes her face would grow puffy and round like a full moon from her medications, but usually she just looked starved. She still couldn’t keep any food down, and she suffered painful sores in her mouth from the chemotherapy, and could barely talk. Sometimes she was even too weak to lift her head from her pillow.
         I stayed with her late into the nights, continuing to read her the story, and usually not leaving until 8:00, the end of visiting hours. Even if Angela had fallen asleep, I stayed by her side and couldn’t bring myself to leave her.
         As for Maria, she started intensive treatment sessions that brought her together with the other kids for once. She complained every chance she got, but I realized I would probably be no different, and sympathized with her.
         Angela of course, was not the only one to become more ill. Spiderman AKA Robbie probably went through the most out of anyone in the room. After leaving the room for surgery, and taking time to recover for a day, he started aggressive treatments that quickly made him lose his cute spiky hair, and become weak and gaunt like Angela.
Tomoya was sad to not be able to play with his friend anymore, and not even Angela could play with him, so he drowned his days out sitting on his bed, only happy when his mother came in, but even she was busy taking care of the two sickest patients in the room. I tried to play with little Tomoya as much as I could, but my concern for Angela made me not be in the mood most of the time.
         As the days and weeks went by I would find myself leaving the hospital in tears, hurting inside from seeing the pain my friend was going through, and watching her slow deterioration.
         I found myself in a giant shopping mall one night after visiting a very sick Angela, and I let myself walk over to the large ski and snowboard store Angela and I had visited often. The Melissa brand name clothing that donated $1.00 of profits to cancer research loomed in front of me with new styles from when we’d last been there at Christmas. I found myself grabbing as much clothing and accessories from the special brand as I could, and with my debit card spent two-weeks allowance, 4 days babysitting and Christmas money on the clothes just so I could do something more for Angela. Anything.
         The girl at the checkout counter looked at my debit card before swiping it and smiled.
         “Your name is almost the same huh. Heh heh. Good reason to buy it. Marissa Melissa.” She said, laughing.
         “Sure.” I grumbled, and grabbed my bags and bank card, and ran out of the store as fast as I could. I sat down by a large fountain in the middle of the mall, and hugged the bags of clothes to my chest, trying not to cry.
I wished I hadn’t bought these clothes. I wished I could help Angela and everyone with cancer with more then just $1.00 dollar per purchase. I had spent all my money but only managed to donate a couple of dollars. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t even want the clothes. I could give them to Angela, but she was even too weak to get dressed, and would only wear warm pajamas and a bathrobe.
         I left the mall and dragged myself and the heavy bags on the subway back to my dad’s. I didn’t feel like seeing my mom, so I hoped that my dad was alone, and that I could crash at his house in peace for once.
         I’d talked to him about what I had seen that night that seemed so long ago, and he said he did have a new girlfriend, but that he would always have time for me. I hoped he was going to keep that promise, because I did not want to come home to my mom broke and with bags of clothes. She’d kill me.
         At the University stop I ran up the stairs, hoping to by-pass the exit to the children’s hospital, and I banged into Brian.
         I hadn’t seen him since that first night he’d helped me deal with my pain. I couldn’t believe it was actually him.
         “Whoa, are you alright?” he asked me, just like when we’d first met after I’d fallen down the stairs.
         “Brian?” I asked, clutching my bags to my chest.
         “Oh my God, Crying Girl?!” he shouted, and I blushed, moving out into the cold night air.
         “Yeah, it’s me…” I mumbled.
         “How are you doing?” he asked. I pursed my lips and looked down, shyly.
         “Alright.” I basically lied, because the last few weeks had been anything but ‘alright’.          Brian shoved his ungloved hands into his pocket and blew out frosty air.
         “Can I buy you a cup of coffee or something? Its cold to talk out here.”
         I looked up at him and nodded, and we walked across the street to the first café we saw.
I ordered a white hot-chocolate, and he ordered a chai tea latte.
         “Have things gotten better for you since we last met?” he asked me as we sat down by the window.
         “No, not really.” I sighed.
Brian frowned. “I’m sorry. Your friend still isn’t doing any better?”
         “No, she’s really sick.”
I could feel myself start to cry again, but I stopped the tears. Then suddenly Brian reached over and put his hand on mine. I looked into his eyes and blushed.
         “I wanted to see you again. I wanted to help you. You seem so lonely.” He said.
I slowly looked down, knowing that what he was saying was true, and feeling the pain that went with it. A tear escaped my eyes, and I was again Crying Girl.
         “Listen, I want to do something to help you. Anything I can. I come here mostly every night to study around this time… if you ever need to talk please come here.” Brian said, taking my hand, and causing me to blush so much I felt feverish.
         I was so confused. I really liked Brian, I hoped I would see him again, but it was hard for me to believe that anyone cared enough about me to want to help me like this. Not counting Angela. I knew she would be there for me no matter what.
But why did Brian care for me? We hardly knew each other.
         “Why are you doing this for me?” I asked him.
         “Because I want to help you, and…” Brian looked around, shyly, surprising me because he seemed so strong.
         “I like you, Marissa. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since we first met.”
         I looked up at him, not sure if he were talking to me. Another Marissa. It had to be. I wanted to tell him I liked him too, but my tongue felt swollen in my mouth.
         “But I can’t legally be with you.” He continued.
         “What?” I asked. Of course it would be a legality that kept me from finding a boyfriend.
         “You’re fifteen, right?” Brian asked.
I nodded.
         “I’m eighteen… I probably shouldn’t even be talking to you until you’re sixteen.”
         Great. Just my sitting with this guy was putting him at risk of statutory rape...
         “I’ll be sixteen soon.” I protested.
Still Brian frowned.
         “But I still want to help you.” He repeated.
         “It’s not me who needs help…” I mumbled, shyly.
         “But it is, Marissa. You’re suffering from the stress of watching your friend’s illness. She’s someone you deeply care for, and it’s hurting you too.” He said, seriously.
         Tears came to my eyes, and I looked up at him. “My friend died a few weeks ago…”
         Brian’s eyes widened. “But you said—“
         “Not Angela.”
         Brian sat back in his chair, and wearily ran his hand through his hair, looking shocked.
         “She was killed in a car crash.” I said, as solemn as I could, and I stood up. Before I knew it Brian had his arms around me, and I didn’t want to stop him. I wanted to stay in his arms and cry. I hated being fifteen.
         “I’m so sorry.” He told me.
         I lay on his chest, and it felt warm, and smelled nice. My heart fluttered in my chest, and I counted how long until my broken confidence in myself told me to pull away.
20 seconds. It was pitiful.
         “I’m sorry.” I said.
         “Don’t be.”
         “How long are you at the hospital usually?” Brian asked, and I looked down.
         “I stay right until the end of visiting hours now. I can’t leave her.” I looked at my watch, it was almost eleven. The store was closing. “Visiting hours are until 8.” I added.
         “I’ll be here at eight then. Every night, OK. Come here if you ever need to talk.” Brian promised, and I clung to him more.
         “Thank you.” I whispered.
         “You’re welcome.”
~

         Angela was put on IV chemo after that. She barely moved from her bed, and would lay on her side away from Adrian, and stare vacantly at the wall in front of her. She was just too weak to do anything else. She was always happy to see me though. She’d pull herself out of whatever trance she was trapped in, and smile at me. But she looked so sad and sickly when she was alone.
         “Anjira, come. Play with me!” Tomoya would tug on her blanket, and beg for her to play with him like in old times, but even he was starting to look thin and tired.
Only Arcadies was the same disobedient bad girl she’d always been. She stuck a nurse’s thermometer in a mug of coffee in an attempt to sabotage some poor sick kid’s reading, but she broke it instead. Her parents had to come in, and she was dragged off to some sort of therapy for kids dealing with their illness ‘negatively’. So what was positive for a five year old with cancer?
         Maria grew thinner too. She had always had a bit of weight on her, but now she was starting to look a normal size, not sickly and gaunt like Angela. She’d always been thin. But the freaky thing was Maria liked it.
         “Who’d had thought getting cancer would help me lose weight?” she said one day while admiring herself in the mirror at the bathroom door.
         “Hey ladies, forget Jenny Craig, try Maria Vandrelos’ patented Cancer Diet!” she grinned, turning around.
         Side effects may include loss of life…I thought bitterly to myself, doing my best not to knock some sense into the stupid girl.
         “Don’t say that.” Angela said, sadly.
         “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” Mumbled Adrian.
         “Stupid?” Tomoya asked.
         “You’re nuts.” I muttered.
         Maria turned to me.
         “Why? Don’t you want to try the program? You could stand to lose a few pounds.”
         “Why you little-!” I started, clenching my teeth, and using all my strength to keep from pouncing on her and beating her to a bloody pulp. But I was stopped by Angela, who started to cough.
         “Stop it you two.” She said, softly, her voice scratchy and thick.
“Maria’s just trying to make light of a bad situation. Right, Maria?” she looked over at the girl, suspiciously.
         “Sure. Whatever.” She shrugged.
         “And be nicer to my friend, would ya?” Angela added.
         “Whatev~ver.” She repeated.
         I crossed my arms across my chest trying to look fierce, but mostly I just felt intimidated as usual.
         “I guess no one would want a diet that makes you this tired though…”
         Even if she was joking…it just didn’t seem right to say. I didn’t understand Maria. I didn’t think I ever would.
         But it was only a few nights later when I came for my usual visit, that I overheard Maria’s own loneliness, and helplessness against the bitter disease, and the world around her.

Angela

         “Mario?”
         “No.”
         “Donkey kongu?”
         “No.”
         “Samurais!”
         “No. Spiderman only.”
         “Nooooooooo~~!” Tomoya whined, arguing with Robbie over what videogame to play.
         “Tsumaranai Supaidaman! Itsumo Supaidaman!”
         “Why don’t you ever talk normal? I don’t understand you.” Robbie grumbled, visibly hurting poor Tomoya. “Talk in English.” He added.
         Tomoya pouted, his lower lip trembling.
         “Hey, Robbie, honey, remember Tomoya’s first language isn’t English. So he does his best to communicate with us, and you have to have patience with him.” Angela said, gently to the confused little boy who had become so sick he was moody and depressed.
         “I can English~!” Tomoya protested, forgetting the verb.
         Robbie blinked, his big blue eyes hollowed looking and gray.
         “Hey boys, play with this.” Suddenly Maria spoke up, tossing a video game cartridge at Tomoya who caught it and gazed at the cover.
         “Ooooo~ Inu Yasha!” he squealed.
         Robbie looked over and smiled.
         “He’s got doggie ears!” he cried.
         “Yeah. Inu Yasha izu a dogu!” Tomoya grinned.
         And the two boys stopped fighting and began to play their new video game which was a Japanese feudal tale, complete with martial arts and swordplay.
Tomoya loved it.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

         “Wow, Maria, where did you get that?” Angela asked.
         “My brother sent it to me.” She murmured.
         “I didn’t know you had a brother.” Angela said.
         “Yeah, he’s in BC, studying to be a doctor.” Maria replied. “Heh, that’s kinda weird. Maybe Miguel could be my doctor instead of Albuquerque here.” She referred to the oncologist they shared, Dr. Alba.          Angela let herself softly laugh at Maria’s farce of the name, and she smiled at her.
         “We always used to play fighting games together, and he’s all guilty because he can’t come see me until his March break. So here’s just one of my many consolation prizes.” She grinned, but she had a far off look in her eyes.
         Angela frowned a little, but the girl just ignored her.
         “Anyway, my friends are coming to visit me today, so do me a favour, and don’t throw up all over them.”
         Angela sighed, and looked down, never expressing any hurt or anger she felt. She only felt hurt. She was in so much pain, day after day, and Maria, who she always tried to help, still made a mockery of her. She felt weak, and depressed, so she lay down on her bed, and turned away.
         “Anjira, daijoubu?” Tomoya turned to her, and she smiled at him. That was all the little boy needed to believe his friend was alright. She loved the simplicity of children. Even when faced with problems most adults have not experienced, everything was roses. In Tomoya’s case, ‘Love Hana’. He loved flowers. Hana meant flowers, and he always said, “Rabu Hana”. Rabu was love… He chased candy-stripers with flower carts, and Marissa even gave him a rose.
         “Is this it?” Suddenly the voice of a young girl spoke out.
         “No way, girl, Oncology..? What the hell is that?” Came another voice.
         Then two twelve or thirteen year old girls stepped into the room.
         One girl was black skinned with dread-locked long hair pulled into a ponytail. She had full lips, and was a little taller then her companion. The other girl looked Hispanic like Maria. She was average height with large brown eyes, and straight, dark brown hair. Both girls wore heavy makeup for their young age, and the black girl had large hoop earrings.
         “Yo, that Maria?” Hispanic girl said to her friend beside her.
         “Arianna, Nikita!” Maria cried, her face lighting up when she saw her two friends.
         Angela had only ever seen Maria this happy when she thought she was going home. She was happy for her too, and as weird as it seemed she hoped she could stay well to honour her selfish wish.
         “He-ey girl!” the dark skinned girl smiled brightly, putting out her arms and hugging Maria.
         “How are you doing?” she asked.
         “God, you haven’t been in school forever! We didn’t know what happened to you.” The other girl added.
         Maria blushed, and Angela guessed she hadn’t told her friends about her illness.
         Just like her.
         “I-“ Maria started, but the girls cut her off.
         “Miguel like IMed us, asking if we’d gone to see you. We were like, 'no man, we don’t know where your sister’s at.' So he tells us you’re here.”
         “He did?” Maria asked.
         “Yeah, no reason why though…”
         “So what is it, girl? Can’t believe you been in the hospital all this time~!”
         Maria looked away. She looked really uncomfortable, and she wasn’t her usual confident self. Without knowing what to say to her friends, she twirled around and showed off her now slim, but undeveloped figure, and pretended to be happy.
         “I lost weight.” She said.
         “Lookin’ good…” Nikita, who was the black girl, said looking confused, but smiling also.
         “We came down this hall, practically banged into a little bald kid…” Arianna added.
         “Yeah, what is this place? Oncology… Its different then the rest of this hospital…” Nikita continued.
         Angela looked up, surprised that these girls did not know where they were, and was noticed.
         “Oh, you have roommates!” Arianna cried. “Hey, we’re Arianna and Nikita. Nice to meet you.” She said to Angela, who became immediately shy and withdrawn.
         “I’m Angela…” she replied. “It’s nice to meet you.”
         “I’ve got a lot of roommates. Angela’s the oldest, and that little guy over there is the youngest…” Maria told them, looking over at Tomoya and Robbie.
         The girls looked shaken to see another little bald kid.
         Angela sighed. She wished Maria would tell the truth, otherwise these girls might mistakenly say the wrong thing.
         “Come on, Maria, you don’t live in a hospital for almost a month for nothing. What’s wrong?” Arianna pushed.
         “Yeah girl, we’re worried about you.” Nikita added.
         Maria looked away, and clenched her hands in a nervous fist.
         “Maria’s got rimpoma~!” Suddenly Tomoya spoke up, and Maria clasped her hand over his mouth.
         “moo~ooooooooo” Came Tomoya’s muffled cry.
         “Heh heh, he doesn’t know English…” Maria laughed, nervously, still holding the little boy back.
         The girls looked confused.
         “You sick then…?” Arianna asked, and Maria swallowed in hard, letting Tomoya go, but didn’t reply.
         Arianna and Nikita looked concerned now.
         “Is it bad?” Nikita asked.
         “No, no, of course not.” Maria insisted.
         “It’s not…” Arianna trailed off. “You haven’t been hanging around with Britney and her gang?” she continued, suspiciously, and Maria looked shocked.
         “What are you suggesting?!” she shouted, angrily.
         “You idiot!” Nikita punched the other girl in the arm.
         “You think I have an STD huh? Like HIV?” she demanded.
         “But you haven’t been….you know…?” Nikita said now.
         Angela couldn’t believe what she was hearing from the mouth of the two twelve year old girls.
         Were they saying they had friends who prostituted themselves?
It was awful. What kind of community did Maria come from?
         “Yeah, Ari, Nikita, I’ve got AIDS. And so does Angela over there, and of course the little 3 year old, passed down from his mother, a nurse here, who gave it to me too. But not before I had sex with 5 different guys for 1,000 dollars a piece and got liposuction.” Maria muttered, furiously.
         The two girls looked shaken, and embarrassed. Maria crossed her arms, angrily, and turned away.
         “Please stop, Maria. Your friends are just concerned for you.” Angela spoke up.
         “Shut up, Angela. Go play with your own stupid friend.” The girl growled.
         Angela stayed quiet, too tired to argue or defend the stubborn girl.
         “I’m sorry, Maria. But we just don’t know. You’re not telling us anything.” Nikita said, guiltily.
         “For all we know this is the cancer ward.” Arianna added, confident that this couldn’t be the case.
         But Maria proved her wrong.
There was a long pause before she admitted that oncology was indeed, another word for cancer.
         “It is…” She looked down, clutching her hands in fists.
         Nikita and Arianna blinked, their mouth hanging open. They looked over at Tomoya and Robbie who were happily playing their video game, then over at the sickly, thin form of Angela, and back to Maria.
         “You mean…” Nikita started, nervously.
         “I have Hodgkin’s disease. It’s a type of cancer…”
         There was silence again. An uncomfortable silence that stretched through the whole room, and even the two boys noticed it--when their characters died--then they went right back to playing.
         Angela turned over on her side, sighing deeply, her body aching, and she ignored the rest of the confrontation as best she could.
         “Seriously…?” Nikita asked.
         Maria didn’t answer.
         “Man… cancer…that…sucks…” Arianna said warily.
         Then it happened. The girls had nothing to say.
         Angela knew that feeling. Her friends had had nothing to say to her too. She was demon girl back in her hometown. Even the boy who had had a crush on her gave up on her.
Marissa was different though. Marissa and Kari too…
Marissa was her goddess girl, never forgetting her. She was her one true friend. She always had been. Even before Kari was ripped away from her. No friendship had ever been as strong as her and Marissa.
         “Um…” Started Nikita. “Are you OK?”
         Maria sighed, irritably.
         “They pump me full of toxic drugs and run a laser beam over my body every once in a while. I feel like barfing most of the time, and sleep is my only extracurricular. But otherwise, I’m just peachy.”
         The girls looked down. Again the room grew quiet, except for the blip, blip of Tomoya and Robbie’s video game.
         “What about…” Arianna began, and she moved closer to Maria reaching out to touch her hair, but Maria stepped back. “Have you lost your hair?”
         “What do you think?” Maria muttered, pulling on her thinning but still full brown hair.
         Suddenly Nikita started to cry.
         “I’m so sorry, Maria. This is so awful!” she sobbed into her hands.
         Maria rolled her eyes.
         “What are you going to do? What’ll you do?” the tearful girl cried.
         “Get a hold of yourself, Nikki.” Arianna said, rubbing her friend’s back.
         “It’s so terrible. Poor Maria.”
         “I’m right here you know.” Maria mumbled.
         “Are you…are you…” Arianna now struggled with what to say. “I-I mean…”
         Maria glared at them.
         “You’re not going to… die right?” Arianna said the word ‘die’ so harsh, and with so much fear and disbelief that she couldn’t possibly have faith in her own question. How could her twelve year old friend have cancer? A disease that killed.
         “I’ll get back to you on that one…”
         Maria’s dark humour was starting to make Angela sick---among other things---she was going too far.
         Nikita started to cry more, burying her face in her hands like a child.
         Maria stood up, and sighed deeply.
         “I’ve got to go to the bathroom.” She said, and headed toward the restroom by the doors leaving Arianna holding onto the crying Nikita.
         “This is too much, man.” Arianna said, running her fingers through her hair. Then she turned to Angela.
         “I gotta get out of here, and Niki’s gone loco. Can you tell Maria we had to go? Like we thought she was sick or something?” she asked, already inching toward the door.
         “Ok…” Angela said, weakly.
         “We’ll call… or something…”
         Then the girls were gone.
         Angela didn’t exactly blame them, although they did say some pretty inappropriate things, they didn’t know anything.
Maria had been like her. And kept the people who cared about her in the dark. She now saw how much that hurt, and silently apologized to Marissa for putting her through the pain she saw on Nikita’s tortured face.
         “So they left, huh?” Maria was beside her bed before Angela knew it. She nodded, looking down, and Maria sighed.
         “They said that they thought you were sick, and uh…Nikki was a wreck…” Angela trailed off.
         “Whatever.” Maria mumbled, flopping down on her own bed. “They don’t understand anyway.”
         “No they probably don’t…” replied Angela, solemnly.
         “It’s not fair…” Maria continued, and Angela looked back up at her. The girl had tears in her dark and hollow eyes.
         “Why can’t I have a friend like Marissa?”
~
Marissa

         When I came to see Angela that day this is what I heard. I leaned back against the wall and breathed in, smiling a little. I felt good. I felt like I’d done something. I’d helped someone. I’d helped Angela, and I could try to help the others too. Including Maria.
I’d come to visit not only Angela, but everyone in the big room. I’d already promised Tomoya.
I hoped Maria meant what she’d said. She’d been mean to me, but I still wanted to help her. Because whether I liked it or not, instead of having one friend with cancer, I now had five more.
~

         The next time I saw Angela she was very weak. Francesca sat at her bedside, cradling her neck and head, and lifting her off her pillow so she could eat the food set in front of her.
         It tore at my heart to see her like that. I loved my Angela, and she was slipping away from me. Far away.
The one thing I could never think about…I still wasn’t thinking about… But I was still losing her.          She couldn’t eat, and could barely keep her eyes open, and worst of all she didn’t recognize me at first.
         “Come on, Angie, Marissa’s here to see you.” Francesca coaxed my poor, weak friend. She looked over at me, only moving her eyes, and managed a half smile.
         I smiled the brightest smile I could for her, and waved. She deserved that.
         “Hi… Ma...ri…” she whispered.
         “Hey, sleepyhead.” I smiled.
         Angela closed her eyes again, and Francesca gave up on trying to get her to eat, and just before she was going to help her lay down, I noticed the transformation that Angela was going through for the very first time. Long clumps of Angela’s white-blonde hair lay on her pillow, and she was too sick to even notice.
~

         “I have to cut it.” Angela said the next day as she looked in the mirror at herself.
         Her hair was so thick that even though she had lost clumps of it, it was hardly noticeable. She just looked like she had thinned out hair now. Her waves and curls she had once naturally sported had disappeared though.
         “If I don’t, it will start to look strange.” She continued.
         “Oh, Angela…” I cried, hating this.
I didn’t want her to lose her hair. It was so pretty.
         “It’s alright. I knew I would lose it during the transplant…. I guess it’s started already.” She sighed.
         She was sad for her loss, but she still handled it with grace. How I wished I could be like her. Strong like her.
         Angela was feeling better that day, despite what was now happening to her. She had enough strength to sit up at least. Not like the day before.
         She turned to me as she brushed her thinning hair, and her tired eyes seemed to be thinking of something.
         “Hey, Marissa…?” she started, softly. “Will you do something for me…?”
         I looked up at her, surprised that she was asking me a favour, which she rarely, if ever had done.
         “Sure, Angie.” I replied.
         She smiled at me, and then put down the brush.
         “Will you cut my hair for me?”
         I couldn’t believe she was asking me that. I wasn’t a professional; she had never even seen me cut hair. Why would she want me to be the one to cut off all her long, beautiful hair?
         “Angie, I’m just learning…I can’t…” I trailed off, and Angela just looked at me, not exactly begging me, but she was pulling on my sympathies. She was good at that. Even before she was again afflicted with cancer.
         “I know you’re just learning, Marissa, but the people who would cut my hair have no training at all. Not even Nikko.” She paused, and I swallowed in, not knowing at all why she wanted my help with this.
         “You’re my best friend, and I haven’t been to school for weeks. I hear all you do, all your new triumphs, and I want to be there. I want to see. I want to see all you’ve been doing…and I’m in dire need for a make-over.” She grinned at me, and I saw her tired, sunken in eyes, her pasty, pale skin, and chapped lips, and understood what she was asking. No matter how selfless she was, there was no way she could ignore the transformation of her once beautiful and soft looks. Suddenly, I wanted to do her that favour. I put makeup on students in my class who either didn’t really need it, or didn’t appreciate it. So why shouldn’t I help Angela feel better in some way?
         I asked Nikko for a stylist’s cape, which they actually did have inside that hospital. Angela was right. Nurses would usually cut the children’s hair in as quick a motion as they could, in preparation for a wig or scarf.
I wondered what my Angela would look like with a wig. She looked so different with her thinned out hair, and it was even longer without the waves and curls she once naturally sported.
         Today as usual, Adrian and Arcadies weren’t in the room. Maria had to have radiation, and Spiderman was having some tests done. Tomoya was the only one left, and he watched, thoughtfully as I tied the cape around Angela’s neck.
         “Marisha, what you doing to Anjira?” he asked, and Angela smiled at him.
         “Why don’t you help me out, Tomo-kun?” I said to him.
         “Ooooh~ Hai!” he cried, excitedly.
         “OK, can you get me my bag over there?” I asked him, pointing to my purse sitting by the door.
         The little boy jumped up and ran to the door, grabbed my bag, and then dropped it all over the floor.
         “Ooooh…” he brought his hand to his mouth, and Angela burst out laughing.
         “Oh, Tomoya, what would I do without you?” she giggled, and Tomoya grinned, showing off his baby teeth.
         “OK, Tomo, I don’t need the bag yet. Come over here, and you can be my special helper.” I smiled at him, and he scrambled over behind Angela.
         I picked up my scissors that had conveniently landed near me when my purse exploded, and gripped Angela’s shoulders.
         “OK, Angie. Are you ready?” I asked her, sympathetically. She took a deep breath, and then turned to me.
         “Ready.”
~

         It was strange cutting off Angela’s long, beautiful hair. The chemotherapy had done most of the work for me, and her pretty hair fell to the ground and Tomoya swept it all up. I didn’t ask him to do this. He just did. He made the whole thing easier for her.
         When I was finished Angela’s hair was shorter. She’d wanted it shorter because she knew it would all fall out soon. But I couldn’t bare to chop it all off. So in compromise, I cut her hair so that it was just below her neck. It still had some length. If she didn’t like it I would make it shorter, but I thought it looked good, and when I showed her the mirror; so did she.
         “Its nice.” She smiled at herself.
         “Why you cut your hair, Anjira?” Tomoya asked, clutching a piece of her hair in his hand.
         “Hey, silly, what are you doing with that?” she asked him, and I slipped away to gather my things off the floor.
         “Puretty Anjira hair.” He whined. “Why?”
         “Because my hair was getting so long I was afraid it was going to run away from me.” Angela giggled.
         “Oooh~” Tomoya replied.
         “Angie, you nut.” I called to her, and she smiled.
         I came over to her with my bag full of makeup and hair accessories from my cosmetology class, and took out a pale pink lipstick to show to her.
         “Angie, what do you say I give you a makeover?” I smiled at her, and Tomoya looked up curiously.
         “You can do that?” she asked.
         “Of course I can.” I insisted. “You’ll look like you again, only with shorter hair.”
         “And ridiculously thin.” She grinned, but then seriously, added, “OK, Marissa…bring me back.”
         I applied a pale liquid concealer all over her face, paying special attention to under her eyes. I brushed and blended with powder, bringing back her soft, pale complexion, and concealing the circles under her eyes. I brushed a light, violet shadow over her lids, and added a soft blush over her cheeks and nose, so she had a healthy glow again, or had been ‘snow-kissed’ as she liked to say when people had been out in the snow and returned with rosy cheeks. Lastly, I brushed the pale, pink lipstick over her chapped and full lips, and added a gloss to divert away from the damage done to them.
         When I was finished she again was Angela Michelli. Fifteen year old Venetian Goddess, who I called my best friend.
         If only the leukemia could be made away too…
         “Chu!” Tomoya suddenly cried, and he jumped up and kissed Angela on the cheek, leaving a little pink mark on her face.
         He had put on the lip gloss. Now his lips were even more pink then they usually were.
         Angela laughed, and kissed him on the nose. Now his nose was pink too. Then she picked him up and received a little pink kiss. He grinned, and Angela brought him closer so he could hug me, she grabbed onto me and we all fell to the ground in heaps of cuddles and laughter.
         It was one of the days I’d always remember. We all felt happy again, and loved.
~~

~~~Tomoya's Glossary Part 4~~~

Baka~Stupid/idiot
neru~sleep
Marisha to Anjira Daisuki~I love Marissa and Angela.
to (pronounced 'toh')~and
Tsumaranai~boring
Itsumo~always
Tsumaranai Supaidaman. Itsumo Supaidaman.~Boring Spiderman. Always Spiderman
Inu Yasha~ Dog Demon...check it out on either YTV or Adult swim! I like it :)
daijoubu~ Are you alright?
chu~kiss sound effect