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The content contained within this journal will only change as often as my mood. |
I was sleeping quite soundly when I felt something warm and wet press against my forehead. I told myself I would not open my eyes, because I needed to work tonight (which meant sleeping today). I could not help myself. I craked open one eye and it was him! I could relax. I knew I was just in dreamland again, with Lenny right beside me. I chuckled when I realized I was dreaming. Lenny responded with a similar chuckle, but I doubt he knew the origin of mine! I was so sore this week. All I wanted was for him to massage every little ache throught my body. I closed my eyes, and I felt his warm pulsating body wrapped securely around my own. I could feel his creative hands search every inch of my skin and hair. So you would think I would become mesmerized by the entire event, but something different happened. I found myself thinking,"This won't do today. It is not real. I am lying here all alone, and I will wake up tired. I need him to leave." What? NO! But then he did. Lenny was gone, and I was into a much deper sleep. Before I awoke completely, I was dreaming again. I was walking and talking to John. "I just don't get it; why did he leave?" I had asked. John put his arm around me, trying to comfort me, and replied, " You wished him away; be careful what you wish for. He had no choice. He doesn't exist anymore." AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I immediately awoke. What had I done? The kids were starting to play loudly, and a migraine was approaching. I looked at the clock to see I only had fifteen minutes left before my alarm would sound. Something happened inside me and I felt guilty, so I went downstairs, kissed the kids, and logged into my e-mail account. I checked my "Sent" messages, and realized I had not e-mailed the "real-life Lenny" in over a month. So I took a minute and dropped him a line, just to let him know I was still alive, and all that jazz. Of course, like I had said before, the "Lenny" of my dreams really is not like the real one, but something just struck me in the idea that I could "wish someone away". Natural Spring |