Diary of a Middle-aged Woman

03/12/07 - Mall Hawkers

What is the deal with the young guys that stand in the middle of the mall selling hand cream?

I walked past one about a month ago and he stopped me to ask if my nails were real. Not knowing where this was leading, I answered "yes". He asked to see my hand, and I mechanically held it out for him to look at. He immediately grabbed it. I kept saying, "I'm not interested", but this didn't deter him. "Dahling, what do you do for a living? Where do you work?" I stupidly answered his questions, and again told him I wasn't interested. The whole time I'm trying to walk away from him, but he holds firm to my hand. Meanwhile I'm wondering where the hell my husband is. "Dahling your hands are so rough," he said to me. I finally managed to wriggle my hand free and walk away.

There at the pretzel stand stood my husband shoving his face with a mustard-laden soft pretzel. "Thanks a lot", I said. "I got one for you," he answered. When I told him what I meant, and what happened, he was unsympathetic. "Why didn't you just walk away?" he asked. "Why weren't you there to tell him to hit the road?"

On subsequent visits to the mall I have seen this same guy hawking his hand cream. My daughter and I go out of our way to avoid him. If he is on the left side of the mall, we walk on the right. However, my last trip to the mall I couldn't avoid him. There he stood at the main entrance. This time, I was ready for him. As I walked past he said, "Dahling can I ask you a question?" I firmly replied "NO!" and kept walking, with my hands in my pockets.

I don't like someone half my age calling me "Dahling". Is this supposed to make me feel special? Is this supposed to put me in some kind of a spell to the point where I buy his hand cream? Does he think that I am that desperate for attention that I would buy his stupid hand cream just because he called me "Dahling"? The thing is, maybe his hand cream is the best thing in town. However, I would never stop to look at it after my experience with him. No means no, buddy!