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Or just a mind that thinks too much. |
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A place to practice my writing. Also where I will put my random thoughts, ideas, rants, and whatever else I have to say. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| It's been a pretty crappy winter. Now that spring has rolled around, I realize that I spent most of winter doing 3 things. I will list them and hope that you don't judge me for I am already judging myself, and we all know that two judges are no good. Unless your on a TV show in which case there should be three. Why, you ask? I have no idea. And it bothers me to no end because I hate odd numbers. Can we just add or subtract a judge? Please? No one needs a third opinion, it just jumbles things up and makes everything uneven...Oh, where were we? List. I am writing a list of pointless things I did during this hell of a winter. Here goes nothing. Literally. Hibernate. Explanation? Like I had a choice. If I walked outside, the polar vortex wind would of turned me into a Popsicle. As much as I love that delicious frozen treat, I never want to be one. Not even for Halloween. Drinking. Why? Because I can. What? Wine, lots of wine. Beer, vodka, and whiskey too. OH MY! Like I had anything better to do while being forced to stay inside due to dangerous weather. (see above) And for all of you who might be worried about my liver, I did not drink them all at the same time, nor did I drink them in the order listed above. But seriously, in my defense, wine is delicious, and so are grapes which are what wine is made of, so there. 'Hey, Lana, you could of read a book, wrote a book, edited your book...book, book, book!' Shut up conscience! I don't want to talk about it. I did take notes and plot out a few potential stories, so yay to that. Last but not least I come to the most pointless thing I did for no reason at all. Complaining. I complained about every cold day, every freezing day, every sub-zero day. Yes, I was one of those people. I bitched and moaned everyday about something I had no control of. Totally pointless. Am I ashamed of myself, you ask? Yes and no. Yes I regret not taking advantage of ALL the free time I had to write an epic novel or beautiful poem or funny short story. But, I don't regret the time I got to spend with my kids. They are getting older, changing; on the path to becoming who they are. I figured out that I had to adapt to that and move forward with them. I don't think of them as my little babies anymore. I've also matured as well. This quiz I took on Facebook told me that I am now mentally 19 years old. Ha! If only my body would believe it. Like many fables; there is a lesson to be learned. I look back and see the things I've done, shake my head, and awkwardly point a finger at myself. While I ponder this lesson thing-a-ma-bob, I might as well fill my wine glass up and, oh, grab a blanket because it's freezing outside, and have I mentioned how much I really hate this weather? |
| Notice: This blog post is currently under major construction. The writer has a severe case of write-and-erase-everything-itis and therefore, is not fit to continue writing in this blog. Thank you and please come again. |
| So I've had my fill of wine. I am back with a cup of tea and a new revelation about my writing. No more rules. Rules hold me back (creatively that is) I've decided to change a few things my character will do in my next chapter. I was on the fence with this for a while and that indecisiveness is what's stopping me from writing past the fifth paragraph. I think I have a problem accepting the fact that I am writing fiction and what happens in my story does not necessarily have to match what happens or might happen in reality. Most of the time when I am writing, I think, 'I would never do that, that is insane and unrealistic', but in the story it totally fits so I'm rolling with it. No matter how uneasy it makes me, I continue to write. Now I just need to convince myself that the sky is the limit and roll with it. |
| It's been a while since I've been here. Here meaning alone with my thoughts. It's kind of scary in here amidst the cobwebs and dust. Maybe I'll come back later. Yes, later. With a glass of wine. |
| ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** What are your pet peeves? I don't let too much get to me. I always try to stay positive, but alas, I am not perfect and there are a few things that do get on my nerves. Shocking, huh? Well to those who know me, it might be. I grew up in around a family of negative people. I think they thrive on complaining and gossiping. It's their drug of choice. I have my stories about my crazy family and the outrageous things they do. I try my best to not do what I spent most of my childhood watching. It's funny and sad to see my younger cousins repeat the same bad habits they swore they would never do now that they are older. Negativity is a big issue for me. How does that saying go? If have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all. I have my moments when my horns come out, but I do my best to showcase my pretty wings. I say focus on the positive in yourself and others. There are enough people out there who are negative and surly. Kindness is a rarity you don't see enough of these days. Well at least I don't. That would be my major annoyance. The rest are little stupid things that shouldn't but do bother me. Lol. Like I said, I am not perfect. I am only saying these things that I have experienced from the people I know and in no way mean it towards anyone else in general. I have been really getting into my health this past year and have joined and completed a few workout classes to get me started e.g. Boot camp, Zumba, Yoga... It is one thing to be encouraging, and I love my friends and husband for supporting me through the boot camp. That was a grueling six weeks of military style work outs. Now that I have gotten through that, I feel like I can accomplish anything. What bothers me a smidgen, is when the people I know who are extremely out of shape and overweight give me advice on how to lose weight. That like telling someone that smoking is bad while you are blowing cigarette smoke in their face. I just don't see how that will motivate or inspire me to take advice from someone who doesn't even do it. I guess that falls in the category of practice what you preach. Again I try not to let those things bother me, but sometimes it does. When someone is speaking to me, I look them in the eye and listen to every word they have to say and speak when they are finished. Why can't they do the same for me? Please don't cut me off when I am speaking. It proves to me that you are not interested in what I have to say and only want to talk about yourself. If that is the case, I would be happy to listen, but please don't ask me how my day was and cut me off three words later. It is very rude! Thank you and good day. Earlier I said that negativity is my big issue. I take that back. It is not my first but my second huge annoyance. My first and foremost would be disrespecting your elders. I was brought up to keep my mouth shut and never talk back to my aunts and uncle, grandparents, or any one older than me. And I still follow that rule to this day. I really, really hate it when I see younger people talking back to their grandparents. And it kills me to see them talking back to their parents. As crazy as my aunts can be, I never talk back to them. Even when they need a good telling off or sometimes a smack or two. It's just the way I was brought up. |
| If you could be any age again for one week, which would you choose? I don't really have an age I would like to repeat. My childhood wasn't the greatest, my teen years were OK, my college years were great, but I wouldn't want to repeat any of them. I have always been wiser than my age and way too immature at the same time. My kids love that, my husband, not so much, but I know he loves me. I am happy with the age I am now. It wasn't until this year that my purpose was clear. It wasn't until this year that I truly felt I had a calling. I love being a mother and wife. I love my family with all of my heart and soul! The moment I pick up a pen and write, well, I am truly alive! If it weren't for the friends I have met on this site, I would still be stuck in my head, hiding from the world, self conscious, and full of dreams. They say (and I am not sure who they are) great friends are hard to come by, and when you find them, then you are truly lucky. This is not the actual quote, but you get the point, right? I have my faults. I embrace them and work on fixing them. Self improvement is key, and with my friends love and support, I have come a long way. I have finally emerged from my safe little cave. To some, it might be a little late in life to finally know what your purpose is, but I feel that it's never too late. I feel alive and happy at thirty three years of age. I am a full-time mother and wife and writer. I love with all of my heart and am not afraid to try anything once. I smile at everyone I see, and although I am not perfect, I love who I am and the life I live. So why dwell in the past? Why do something over again? It is the mistakes and successes of the past that make me who I am today, and I am perfectly OK with it. I might be a little off my rocker sometimes, but who wants to be normal anyway? I am not normal. I am different, exciting! At least that's what my friends tell me. Maybe that's why they like me? I'll have to ask them someday. I love my cupcakes with frosting, and my coffee with a little extra espresso. I watch cartoons with the kiddies, (sometimes without  ) kick-box, Zumba, and yoga in the same day. I stumble when I speak, but fly when I write. I smile when I see a stranger, and laugh at my own mistakes. I love birthdays and all the celebrating that comes along with it. One day I will jump out of a plane and take a picture of the world below me. I will travel to another country and have tea with a stranger. I will take my daughter to Paris for a shopping spree. I will build my son a ramp and teach him how to skateboard. I will be the mother whooping and hollering at my children's graduation ceremonies. I will streak my hair a different color every month when I turn grey. I will always have a story to tell. I've never been happier with myself than I am now, So I would not repeat the past. I live without regret. I own up to what I have done and move on. I will enjoy the present and work towards a fun and fruitful future. The following are words I have come to love. “We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” - Maya Angelou |
| I am thankful for my husband and kids for all the support they have had for me this year. I have tucked my self in many corners of my home and typed away. I am thankful for all the wonderful people I have met on WDC. I have forged lifetime friendships and I couldn't be happier. The amount of support I have gotten from everyone here is overwhelming and amazing. I am thankful for my interesting and whacky life. If I had a normal life, I wouldn't have anything to write about. I am thankful for family, friends, love, and all the good things that come along with them. I am even thankful for the bad things that life throws my way. I am grateful to wake up everyday and snuggle with my kids. I am grateful for every night that I can cuddle with my husband. I am thankful for so many things I could write about it for days. Maybe I will start a side project. A poem maybe? I think that would be cool. |
Skydiving and bungee jumping are two of the things on my bucket list that require being in the air. The other one is riding in a helicopter. I've been on a plane once. I might do it again if I ever get over my small fear of heights.  If I ever get spare cash to indulge in the thrill of skydiving, then yes, I will do it. The only way to get rid of your worst fears is to JUMP right in, right? |
| Birthday week! Squee! It's that time of year again and I couldn't be more excited! For those of you who are wondering...yes, it's my birthday, and yes, I am excited! Friday, my sis surprised me with a mini party complete with cup cakes. I love me some cup cakes folks! My kids ate most of them. Can you say sugar high? I actually got them to pose for my camera phone. Yes they were wacky poses, but at least they posed, right? Hey, I take what I can get. My little sister is fixin' up my hair tomorrow. I hope I'm still blonde when she's done, but whatever she does always looks great. My mom wants to have a family dinner for me, and I'm a little worried about that. You can't get us all in the same room without something crazy happening. I am not looking forward to Thanksgiving. Hopefully everyone will get along and I get to keep the sliver of sanity I usually lose when I am around them for too long. If my mom is cooking, I will definitely be present. She can make anything taste wonderful. I say if because her new best friend Facebook has completely consumed her life. Last year when her computer crashed, she went completely ballistic on my brother, who was on it last. It was a scary sight with her murderous eyes, and long sharp teeth. She clawed and snapped at anything in her line of sight. Okay, it wasn't that serious, but she said lots of colorful words for a very long time. Kind of reminded me of my childhood. Lol. Back to my birthday week bash. I'm pretty sure my cousin is planning to kidnap me this weekend. My sisters phone calls about not making plans are a pretty obvious clue that there is a plan-a-brewin'. Also I will be spending lots of time hugging and snuggling with my babies. They light up my heart! Did I mention that I am excited? Oh, look at that. My kids have noticed that I am typing and are now jumping all over me. I'll have to finish this later. It's snuggle time. Bye. |
| I came to a crucial realization the other day while pondering over my story. I've decided to re-write my chapters and a new beginning is important, I think. Anyway, while writing this first scene, I realized that something was missing. Actually someone was missing. But I am not sure if introducing this new character is a good idea since he will not be seen again until much later in the story. I'll write him in anyway. I think it is important to the story. |
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