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 |    I will be adding stories & reflections as time marches on. Take a gander today! |
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Contest Entries: "The Contest Challenge"  Participant"I Write in 2018" Participant"I Write in 2019" Participant"I Write in 2020" Participant2021: Independent Writing 2122: "I Write: Enter the Second Decade" Participant2123: "Twenty-three in Eleven " ParticipantThis mixed collection contains fiction, non-fiction, prose, and poetry. Entries vary in length from very short to one that is over 3000 words. 53 entries written in 2018: ▼ 53 entries written in 2019: ▼ 43 entries written in 2020 ▼ 2 entries written in 2021 ▼ Entries written in 2022 ▼ NOTE: All Titles with ~ ~ are either non-fiction or based on a true story. |
Trust GOD at all times! JESUS is LORD! When you write, you sometimes surprise yourself. I started this entry a few days ago. I had intended to write about text messages on my phone. The two bolded lines above exactly as they are displayed is actually my signature for text messages. It has been interesting to have it as my signature. It is so much a part of my life, I forget it is attached to every text I send. Some folks don't realize at first that it is a signature. Just recently, I sent a Happy Birthday text to my grandson who is around ten. It just had the words "Happy Birthday" followed by my signature. He responded, "Thank you and will." It took a second for me to realize the "and will" part. I tell you, this granny's heart was blessed when I realized my grandson was responding to my signature. Then he send another text, "JESUS is LORD" and it filled my heart with joy. He should have remembered it was my signature. He did figure it out when I texted him a birthday message in 2020. Sadly, looking back, I have only texted him on two occasions: his birthday in 2020 when he got his first phone and this year. I don't like communicating via text messages but maybe I need to put forth an effort to do so since that is the way kids tend to talk, eh? As I mentioned in my first paragraph, there are other things about my signature I had intended to write about but when I came back to this entry and saw my signature displayed here, my own signature blessed me. I am feeling sad today because of some drama between me and my middle daughter. I have used an apartment at the back of her house as a place to sleep when I work. My home is too far away and my little RV is getting pretty run down. I have not driven in back and forth since my daughter bought this house about a year and a half ago. I have simply used this apartment between shifts. I have never called this my home. I have never "moved in". I have a box spring and mattress that I sleep on and a table and chair I use when writing with my laptop. I set my schedule up so that I go home every other week so I split my time between here and my house. Even though this apartment is attached to her house, because I take care of COVID patients, I don't get to spend time with her and her family. The only one I get to see and interact with is their dog, Daphne. She is an Airedale terrier—and I will dearly miss her. Why will I miss her, you ask? Because my daughter is making me "move out". We haven't been fighting or anything. In fact, there has been very little interaction between her and I since her in-laws moved in with her in October 2020. We simply disagreed on how much I should pay her. We had initially agreed to end this arrangement the end of March but she changed her mind and decided she wants me to move out now. So that is what I am doing. Tonight is my last night here. When I finish writing this, I will load up the last of my things and leave. I was ready to do that when I opened this entry to write my story about my signature and what did I see? The message at the top of the page: Trust GOD at all times! JESUS is LORD! My signature often serves as a reminder to me in the midst of the trials of life. It did that again today as I read those words. I ended up with a different story than the one I planned but it is a good message for me and so very timely. Jesus is Lord no matter what circumstances I find myself in and I can always trust God—so can you.  ~ ~ ~ JESUS is LORD! ~ ~ ~ Word Count: 1084 Written for "I Write: Enter the Second Decade" |
~ Lord-Willing ~ Have you ever read something on my Newsfeed and seen this: (LW)? LW are not my initials. LW is my way of saying, "Lord-Willing". Why would I say LW (Lord-Willing)? Well, it is based on some verses in the New Testament of the Bible, specifically in the fourth chapter of the book of James. The other day, I ran a Newsfeed Activity. I intended to come back twenty-four hours later and roll the virtual dice and award a Merit Badge. The participants are probably wondering if I have forgotten them. I haven't. Fortunately, I did not promise to roll the dice the next day. Life interfered with my plans and I have yet to gather the names and follow through with awarding the prize. That is how life is. James reminds us we don't know what the morrow holds. We don't even know if we will draw our next breath. As I am writing this, I intend to finish it but I do not know that will happen. I do not know if I will live to see it done. James goes on to say, "ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that." I believe James is right. I like to follow his advice. One way I choose to acknowledge my limited knowledge of what the future holds by adding LW here and there. Another thing I do sometimes is to say, "I intend to..." I created a note the other day that said: "Entries I intend to write soon..." When I say or write "I intend", in reality, I am really saying, "Lord-Willing". At work, I feel a bit self-conscious saying, "Lord-Willing" so I use an old expression, "Lord-Willing and the creek don't rise." I say this so often that some of my co-workers have begun to say it as well. Even when I don't say "Lord-Willing", I very often will think it even when I say something simple to my patients like "I'll be back..." What is the point of all this? For me it is being aware of what James says: "For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away." It is acknowledging God's power and my limitations. It carries with it a sense of humility versus being too proud and boastful. I like doing this and I intend to do it more...  ~ ~ ~ JESUS is LORD! ~ ~ ~ Word Count: 409 Written for "I Write: Enter the Second Decade" |
| It was a miracle and it happened during a very emotionally painful time during my last marriage. Something I have learned over the years, strong emotional responses to current day situations often mean there is a painful, unresolved issue needing to be healed. I can't remember exactly when I first learned this but I do clearly recall one time this fact impacted my life. Actually, it was not a single incident that triggered my pain. I have been married more than once. I sought marriage counseling with two different husbands. In both of these relationships, my spouse was not honest when we met with the counselor. As we would meet to discuss the problems in our relationship, I would try very hard to be honest about my own role in our difficulties but my honesty was not met in kind. In fact, the men I was married to sometimes outright lied to the person trying to help us. I found this very trying. It stirred up painful emotions and upset me a lot. One of these relationships ended before I gained insight or perspective about what was happening for me. In the midst of the turmoil during the other relationship, I realized my strong emotional response to the lies was touching on a buried hurt but I did not know what was buried. I sought God. I remember lying on my face before God and telling Him, "God, I am having such a strong reaction to this, I know there must be something in me that needs healed. Please help me to see what it is." As I laid there on my living room floor with my eyes closed, I was taken back in time. I remembered a time when my mother got very angry with me and yelled at me, "I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" She then stormed off leaving me sitting on the steps in front of our house in tears. My mother had gone to the Skillmans house. She was visiting Flossie and the Skillman girls walked down to our house and found me crying. "Why are you crying?" "My mother hates me." "Your mom doesn't hate you." "Yes she does. She told me so." The girls left but soon returned with my mother in tow. "I never said I hated you." she claimed. "Yes you did" "No I didn't. I said I hate it when you act like that." She was lying. That wasn't what she said. She was lying because she didn't want to look bad in front of the neighbor girls. My memory ended there but I could see the similarity between this memory and my husband's lies. Both my mother and my husband lied to cover up their bad behavior. I got up from my time in prayer expecting that to be the end of it but it wasn't. The insight did not bring healing and my husband's lies still triggered a large amount of emotional pain. That pain brought me to my knees again—actually, prostate on the floor again crying out to God for emotional healing of this pain. I again relived the day my mother yelled at me, "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!". I relived the whole thing again but this time, when my mother denied her actions and what she said, in my mind's eye, I yelled at her, "You are lying!" I then got up from my prayer feeling a bit shaken but believing this experience would yield a healing for me. I was wrong. The next day, I found myself once again lying on my living room floor in tears. Once again, I cried out to God. Once again I relived the day she told me she hated me. Once again, she lied. This time the story had a different ending. When she lied, in my mind's eye, my twelve year old self abruptly PUNCHED HER IN THE FACE!!! Punch! Punch! Punch! Well, to say I was shaken does not begin to describe my feelings that day. Punching my mother in the face while I was in prayer. Oh, my!!! Well, that was shocking but did it bring the healing I sought? No. The next day, I was on the floor seeking God again. Begging for healing of this memory. Again, I relived the whole experience. But this time, when my mother lied, my twelve year old self said, "You are lying. You are lying to cover up what you did wrong." In my mind's eye, I said this quietly but firmly. As I finished the statement, it was as if the clouds in the sky opened and a beam of sunlight shined down on me. As I sat in that column of light, it was as if God spoke to me and said, "I know." "I know she is lying. I know what really happened. I know." Healing happened for me that day. The next time my husband lied in a therapy session, instead of having an emotional reaction, I sat back on the loveseat and placed myself in that column of light. God knew and that made all the difference. ~ ~ ~ JESUS is LORD! ~ ~ ~ Written for "I Write: Enter the Second Decade" Word Count: 863 Words |
| Trigger Warning: mentions rape. "And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son." John 14:13 I clearly remember the first time I read that verse. I was about ten years old. I had memorized the 23rd Psalm, the 100th Psalm and the books of the Bible and our church awarded my efforts with a Bible of my own. I was reading it in Sunday School. I am not sure what the lesson was about. I wasn't paying attention, I was reading my new Bible. That was when I stumbled upon this verse. I remember thinking with astonishment: Whatever I ask?. I knew that was an amazing promise—an unbelievable promise. And yet, I did believe it. Before Sunday School was dismissed, I called my teacher over and showed her the verse I was so excited about. I asked, "What does this mean?" because it sounded too good to be true. She said, "Oh, it doesn't mean what it says." Well, to this day, I am surprised by her answer but it did not matter, I still believed it. I believed it so much I started asking in His Name. When I was faced with a test at school, I would pause, say a brief prayer asking for God's help with the test, and my prayer would include these words: "God, Jesus said whatever I ask in His Name that he would do that the Father might be glorified through the Son. I ask this in Jesus' Name. Amen." I just realized as I wrote this, I didn't just tack "In Jesus' Name" at the end of my prayer. I quoted the Scripture back to God as I prayed. Anyways, I did really well on my tests. Was it just my natural ability or did I get an extra boost from my prayers? Well, I bet by now you know what I believe. As a teenager, I ran away from home. The police would always find me and bring me back. This one day as I was walking up over a hill on the edge of town I prayed for help and included the words mentioned above. Something different happened that day. The police did find me again but instead of taking me directly home, they took me to talk to a social worker who asked the right questions and realized why I was running away. That night, I was placed in a foster home with loving and kind foster parents. It was one of the best things that could have happened to me at that point of my life. I got a glimpse of normal family life. In July 1973, I quoted John 14:13 in prayer to God in a much more serious moment. I was driving to visit my mother on a pretty summer day. I was wearing a dress because of my sister having made a comment the last time I was there. On the earlier visit I was wearing my standard outfit: faded jeans, one of my dad's old button up white shirts and was sans makeup. My sister commented: , "Oh my, you didn't have to dress up for us." Well, on that day in July, I was dressed to the nines. I can still picture the brightly colored dress I wore that day. I can only picture it because the police never returned it to me. It might still be in an evidence locker somewhere but I am getting ahead of myself. The very serious conversation I had with God that day started with me picking up a hitch-hiker. He was a black man with a walking stick hitching on a very hot July day. Someday, I will write in more detail about what happened but for this story, I will stick to the in Jesus' Name part. It is hard for me to share this because I know many women in my situation have prayed without the positive results I had. Please know, if that is you and you are reading this, you have my heart felt condolences—I am so sorry that happened to you. Here is a very brief version of what happened to me: On a back country road, he started grabbing my keys from the ignition as I was driving and punching me. I fought at first but then thought, "He is stealing my car and I am letting myself get punched over a car?" I decided he could have the little Mazda I was driving if he wanted it and allowed him to push me out of the car. As he drove off, I remember being out in the middle of nowhere on a dirt road thinking, "He stole my car." I picked myself up, dusted myself off and started walking toward a main intersection. Sadly, as I was walking, I saw him walking back toward me. He dragged me into the woods. Initially, I tried to fight him off. I slapped and pulled his hair. He slapped me back so hard I almost lost consciousness. At that point, I stopped fighting but continued to physically resist him. I also tried to reason with him. Back then, the blacks I knew honored their mothers, protected their sisters and were brought up in church. I used all these points to try and convince him to stop. I am sure through it all I was praying and begging God for help. When none of this helped, I began to pray aloud. I prayed aloud: "God, It says in the Bible, "Whatever I ask in Jesus' Name that he would do that the Father might be glorified through the Son. I ask in Jesus' Name that You stop this." I didn't stop there, I had a heart to heart with God, "God, either this is true or the Bible is not true." or words to that effect. After struggling for hours, the fellow suddenly stopped and got up. I jumped up and said the stupidest thing, "Why are you stopping?" His answer was: "Because you really are a Christian." Later that day, circumstances led to his arrest. I must admit, I did believe in Jesus, I had accepted Him as my Saviour as child but I seldom read the Bible, I did not attend church regularly and I did not live a godly life at that time. But I did pray in Jesus' Name and, that time, the results were remarkable. Even when I am not faithful, He is faithful. (Again, my heart felt condolences for anyone who has suffered a rape. I do not know why God chose to spare me that day. I wish no one ever had to experienced being violated in that way.) Anyways, over the rest of my adult life, I have continued to pray in Jesus' Name but it has gone beyond just quoting the scripture and tacking on the phrase "In Jesus' Name, Amen." Years ago, I heard someone teaching that Jesus allowing us to ask in his name was sort of like one of us giving someone a signed blank check to our bank account. We would be giving them access to everything in the account. Jesus is doing something similar for us. That teaching broadened my perspective of what it means to ask in His Name. Finally, in my own walk with God, I began to see it differently. When I ask in Jesus' Name, I am asking in His stead. As I pray for someone or something, I am standing in the place of Jesus and my words become His Words. As I ask in this way, I find myself thinking about what Jesus would want in a particular situation. I hold His Will in mind as I ask in His Name. I also use the privilege with respect. I might ask God in prayer for a good parking place but I would not likely ask that prayer in Jesus' Name. So, if you are a disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ, ask in His Name and He will do it that the Father would be glorified through the Son. ~ ~ ~ JESUS is LORD! ~ ~ ~ Word Count:1358 Written for "I Write: Enter the Second Decade" |
When I made the decision to write about the two hugs I have in mind, I was once again in the throes of grief. My mother died on New Year's Eve seven years ago. The time has softened the blow but the visceral feelings remain and reared their head again this year. The two hugs took place at her bedside in the hours before her death. Ugliness had happened in 2011 when my father died. It resulted in my being estranged from two of my siblings. As I headed toward Georgia to say goodbye to my mother, I was actually looking forward to reconnecting with my baby sister. She was already there and had come without her husband. He would be coming later but we would have some time together and I was glad. He had been the root of the problems that had happened. I still loved my sister and thought she still loved me. I won't go into detail right now about the moment I entered my mother's hospital room. I will just tell you about the hugs. Actually, it should sort of be three hugs. The first was from my sister I had been on good terms with. If I had been paying attention, that hug would have clued me in. She walked over to greet me but her hug was more of a formality than a hug and I was so focused on my baby sister, I barely acknowledged my "good" sister and ran straight away to the other. I wrapped my arms around my baby sister but to my surprise, I discovered to my chagrin and dismay, I had embraced a stone. She stiffened so much it felt like hugging a statute except that a statute would have been cold and she was burning with anger and rage. It left me stunned. It was then I realized I was not welcome there. In 2011, I had been the injured party. I had forgiven my sister and my brother. I had never expected animosity from them. Even my "good" sister, after having spent a day with them, was giving me a cold shoulder. For the moment there were no more hugs--just tense interactions--and rejection. I opted to leave. I asked for a moment alone to say my goodbyes to Mommy. I told my brother I recognized they did not want me there and let him know I would go after I said those goodbyes. The others were glad to hear of this and left the room. When I was done and stepped out into the hallway, my brother beckoned me back into my mother's room. Stepping out of sight of the others, my brother hugged me. I felt loved. I hugged him back and kissed his cheek. I cherish the memory of that hug. ~ ~ ~ JESUS is LORD! ~ ~ ~ Word Count: 638 Written for "I Write: Enter the Second Decade" |
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