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 Each day feels new, and my memory of the one before is faint. I’m learning to adapt. |
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In September 2019, a seizure revealed a lime-sized meningioma pressed against my hippocampus—the part of the brain that governs memory and language. The doctors said it was benign, but benign didn’t mean harmless. Surgery removed the tumor, and three days later I opened my eyes to a new reality. I could walk, I could talk, but when I looked at my wife, her name was gone. I called her Precious—the only word I could find. A failure of memory, yet perhaps the truest name of all. Recovery has been less cure than re-calibration. Memory gaps are frequent. Conversations vanish. I had to relearn how to write, letter by halting letter. My days are scaffold by alarms, notes, and calendars. When people ask how I am, I don’t list symptoms or struggles. I simply say, “Seven Degrees Left of Center.” It’s not an answer—it’s who I’ve become. |
| I was up early again this morning. Not because I had a plan. Just because I woke up and stayed there. Before the worries of the day take hold, there’s a small window where nothing is asking for attention yet. No noise. No urgency. Just quiet and a little room to stretch out mentally. Early mornings don’t promise answers. They just make space. After the brain tumor and the long recovery, thinking doesn’t happen on autopilot anymore. I have to ease into it. These mornings give me time to relax before the day clamps down, to let my thoughts wander around and see what still works. It’s not meditation, exactly. More like sitting still with a keyboard and waiting for the system to boot. And this morning, I can feel it. The gears are turning. Thoughts are lining up. Ideas are bumping into each other in useful ways. Nothing profound yet, but the engine’s running smooth. This feels like a good brain day. I like good brain days. I’ll take one whenever they show up. |
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