I read it but I felt like the descriptors following the dialogue didn't help move the plot along. They kind of were distracting and confusing. That might just be me though.
Also I don't know much about the main character. Why does she want a bus ticket? Does she want to get away from her family? Is it to chase a dream? Her motivations for her actions weren't clear to me.
Hope this is constructive. If it's not then I apologize.
The following section applies to this forum item as a whole,
not this individual post.
Any feedback sent through it will go to the forum's
owner, Brandiwynš¶.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/forums/message_id/3592209
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.10 seconds at 5:40am on Nov 15, 2024 via server WEBX1.