I read it but I felt like the descriptors following the dialogue didn't help move the plot along. They kind of were distracting and confusing. That might just be me though.
Also I don't know much about the main character. Why does she want a bus ticket? Does she want to get away from her family? Is it to chase a dream? Her motivations for her actions weren't clear to me.
Hope this is constructive. If it's not then I apologize.
The following section applies to this forum item as a whole,
not this individual post.
Any feedback sent through it will go to the forum's
owner, Brandiwynš¶.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/forums/message_id/3592209
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.11 seconds at 10:18am on Dec 18, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
