\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/forums/message_id/3592209
Rated: 13+ · Message Forum · Writing · #1474311
A month-long novel-planning challenge with prizes galore.
<< Previous  •  Message List  •  Next >>
Reply  •  Post New
Oct 8, 2023 at 10:04pm
#3592209
Re: Didn't Turn Out So Well...
I read it but I felt like the descriptors following the dialogue didn't help move the plot along. They kind of were distracting and confusing. That might just be me though.

Also I don't know much about the main character. Why does she want a bus ticket? Does she want to get away from her family? Is it to chase a dream? Her motivations for her actions weren't clear to me.

Hope this is constructive. If it's not then I apologize.
MESSAGE THREAD
Didn't Turn Out So Well... · 10-08-23 8:56pm
by Shadow Prowler-Spreading Love Author IconMail Icon
*Star* Re: Didn't Turn Out So Well... · 10-08-23 10:04pm
by NaNotatoGo! Author IconMail Icon
Re: Re: Didn't Turn Out So Well... · 10-09-23 8:27am
by BrandiwynšŸŽ¶ Author IconMail Icon
Re: Didn't Turn Out So Well... · 10-08-23 10:47pm
by QueenNormaJean maybesnow?! Author IconMail Icon
Re: Didn't Turn Out So Well... · 10-08-23 10:53pm
by QueenNormaJean maybesnow?! Author IconMail Icon
Re: Re: Didn't Turn Out So Well... · 10-09-23 8:29am
by BrandiwynšŸŽ¶ Author IconMail Icon
Re: Re: Didn't Turn Out So Well... · 10-13-23 4:06am
by Schnujo's Doing NaNoWriMo? Author IconMail Icon
Re: Didn't Turn Out So Well... · 10-09-23 12:05am
by Olivia: it's NaNo-Time 26262 Author IconMail Icon
Re: Re: Didn't Turn Out So Well... · 10-09-23 8:30am
by BrandiwynšŸŽ¶ Author IconMail Icon
Re: Re: Re: Didn't Turn Out So Well... · 10-09-23 12:30pm
by Shadow Prowler-Spreading Love Author IconMail Icon

The following section applies to this forum item as a whole, not this individual post.
Any feedback sent through it will go to the forum's owner, BrandiwynšŸŽ¶.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/forums/message_id/3592209