This choice: the brainless body of a cat, about to be fed into the first machine! • Go Back...Chapter #5the brainless body of a cat, about to be fed in... by: Unknown "AAAAH!" Linda and Dr Ara screamed in unison as the limp, naked, middle aged body of a slightly overweight orange tabby cat was dumped onto the end of a conveyor belt. Said belt whirred to life and began conveying that body towards what could best be described as a scaled up laser cutting machine with terrifying grasping claws and syringes full of multicolored chemicals mounted to scary robot arms. Dropping the jars as gently as she could, Linda sprinted over to the limp Tabby body and dragged it from the belt just as one of the machine's claws made a lunge for its foot.
Depositing the tabby on the tile floor with a graceful 'Fwump-smack', Linda dragged the body by the ankle across the floor and away from The Disassembler, which sensed that its job had been cancelled and seemed to groan in disappointment as its systems slowly returned to sleep mode. Nearly tripping over Jaime and Dr Ara's jars, Linda released the Tabby's foot and heaved in exhaustion and relief.
"What's your name, otter?" Dr Ara asked, her tone much softer now that her body was no longer in immediate peril.
"Bwuh?" Linda answered, lying down on her side as the drop in adrenaline caused the room to rock and her knees to shake.
"Your name. I want to know who I should thank for saving my ass. Literally." Dr Ara clarified.
"Linda. And you're welcome." Linda told her, patting the top of Dr Ara's jar and causing the brain to bob around a little in the liquid. "So, what now? How do we get you back in... you?" Linda ask, intending to point at Dr Ara's brainless body but misjudging the distance and accidentally giving it a firm slap on her bare ass. She recoiled with an embarrassed yelp, launching herself to her knees as she clutched her hand to her chest like she'd burned it. Without thinking, Linda blurted "And why were you doing lab work naked?"
A long silence passed, though without a face for her to read Linda had no idea what emotion that silence was meant to carry. "I wasn't. The Disassembler needed to undress me before it disassembled me. That's why it took so long to feed me into the choppy-part."
"The choppy-part?" Linda asked, doubtful that that was the technical name for it.
"Hey, I designed The Assembler! The Disassembler was Dr Lang's project, and that bitch gave me the willies. She's the one who wanted me to install that stupid trapdoor body chair in my office rather than using an elevator like any sensible person would. I talked to her as little as I could get away with." Dr Ara explained.
While Linda was both very confused and very disturbed by what could possibly creep out a woman who made a brain jarring machine, she decided to ask those questions another time. She had more pressing concerns right now. "Whatever. How do we put you back together? Is there a Re-Assembler around here somewhere?"
"No, that... no. No, the process is much... cruder than that." Dr Ara said, her tone wavering between embarrassment and puzzled, like she was trying to figure out how she should break this to Linda. "You'll have to smash my jar open, dunk some of the cerebral interface liquid into my skull, then pop my brain back inside my head."
"Are you joking?" Linda asked.
"No. I know that sounds significantly less elegant than you were anticipating, but that is seriously how you'd do it. These jars weren't designed to be opened and closed, once they're sealed they're sealed, so the only way to get a brain out is to break the jar." She explained.
"But... don't you need that brain goo or whatever? How long can you live outside of your jar? And how will putting your brain back in your head solve anything if your brainstem is still severed?" Linda asked, peering into Dr Ara's empty skull. To her suprise, rather than seeming the dimpled and ridged skeletal structure she was expecting, the inside of Ara's skull was functionally a smooth metal bowl without even a hole for her brainstem.
"Well, as you can see, The Assembler has done much more than yank out my brain and dunk it in 'goo'. It's cybernetically modified both my brain and body, allowing both to survive indefinitely even in this separated state. That's right, I've solved death!" Dr Ara proudly announced, cackling like the mad scientist Linda almost forgot she was. "So long as no one kills me." She added, sheepishly. "Anyway, so long as you don't damage my brain it can survive indefinitely outside of its jar. This 'goo', as you called it, just acts as medium through which the electric signals from my brain can interact with the jar's electronics and vice versa. Much less cumbersome and less likely to cause damage than shoving wires into my noodle. This liquid will also allow me to regain control of my body, which is calibrated in much the same way."
"So... smash you out, pour some of the cerebral... brain goo into your skull, then just plop you in?" Linda asked for confirmation.
"That's it in a nutshell, yes. Idiot proof." Dr Ara said, her brain bobbing a little as though nodding.
Linda...  indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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