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A year from now, you're gonna weigh more or less than what you do right now. — Phil McGraw
New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time. — James Agate
Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough. — Mark Twain
This newsletter is scheduled to come out on New Year's Eve.
As both of my regular readers know, I like to devote my first Comedy newsletter editorial of the New Year to mocking the concept of resolutions. "So, how many have you failed at already?" on January 2, stuff like that. That won't work next year, as my first scheduled newsletter is near the end of the month, when it's no longer hyperbole and I can finally walk into an uncrowded gym again.
Consequently, I'll do it now.
According to some site I found,people have been making New Year's resolutions for nearly as long as they've been making beer. I can't help but think the two are related, as one of the more popular resolutions involves drinking; or, more commonly, not.
I, of course, have to do the precise opposite. When I found out about Dry January, where the goal is to abstain for the entire month, I got offended on a deep, personal level, and decided I had to do my part to make up for that insanity. Last year (or, rather, this year as I write this), I decided to—for the first time in many years—make a resolution of my own, but one with a time limit: I'd have at least one day every day in January, barring extenuating circumstances like, I dunno, having to take a course of antibiotics for something.
And in that, I was successful. It was, in fact, the first New Year's resolution I was ever successful at. I still don't know what to call it. I'm flirting with Ginuary, though I only drank gin for, like, eight of the days. But I like the pun, so I might keep it anyway.
Now, I'm not saying this is for everyone, but it did grant me an insight: if you must make resolutions, a) make them something you might actually enjoy; b) put a time limit on them; and c) don't follow the crowd. That last bit also means "don't follow me," so feel free to ignore this insight for yourself.
And you know what else I found? Even though I'm a professional Drunk Uncle, despite a complete lack of nieces or nephews, making myself have at least one bourbon, one scotch, or one beer a day (or the equivalent; I'm just channeling George Thorogood here) was kind of a slog.
Still (pun absolutely intended), I'll be doing it again in 2026. After all, why mess with what works?
Wrap up your Gregorian calendar year, or start a new one, with these funnies:
Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter! https://www.Writing.Com/go/nl_form
Last time, in "Even Less Stress" , I talked about not turning December into one long stress-fest.
I don't think it worked, as everyone seemed to be too busy to leave any comments.
So that's it for me for 2025. See you next time! And until then,
LAUGH ON!!!
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Comedy: December 31, 2025 Issue [#13523]
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