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Comedy: March 11, 2015 Issue [#6866]

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Comedy


 This week: Cold
  Edited by: Robert Waltz Author IconMail Icon
                             More Newsletters By This Editor  Open in new Window.

Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.
         -Carl Reiner

It's too cold outside for angels to fly.
         -Ed Sheeran

Colder by the hour, more dead with every breath.
         -John Green

Nothing burns like the cold.
         -George R.R. Martin


Word from our sponsor

ASIN: 0997970618
Amazon's Price: $ 14.99


Letter from the editor

It's cold.

It's been cold for a long, long time.

I can barely remember being warm. Well, except that I live in a nice warm house with nice warm blankets, so really, I'm warm most of the time. But when I step outside, I'm hit by a blast of Siberia.

While the obvious solution is obvious ("don't step outside"), that turns out to be unworkable in the real world - at least until Amazon launches its drone delivery system and Virginia makes it legal to mail liquor to me.

I know some people like the cold. "Oh, I love cold weather," they'll say. "I love bundling up. It's so much easier to wear more clothes, but when you're hot, you can't always take more off."

These people are wrong and these wrong people should go live in Yakutsk  Open in new Window..

Tell me this, O frigid ones: why is it bad to be "cold" to someone, and good to be "warm?" Hm? Because cold is bad.

You know that scene in A Christmas Story when Randy (the little brother) gets "bundled up" so much he can't put his arms down? His mom tries pushing them down but they just pop back up. It cracks me up every time - at least until I remember that that is what I feel like every damn time I have to go outside in the winter.

http://old.seattletimes.com/ABPub/2010/12/09/2013441854.jpg

And I don't even live in Indiana (for which I am eternally grateful). Here in Virginia, we're usually treated to mild winters with maybe a few days of really cold weather. That, I can deal with. There's an end to it. It'll be like 25 on Monday, 65 on Wednesday, and 30 and snowing on Friday. (Yes, all temperatures are in Fahrenheit. 65C would really suck.) It may not be consistent, but at least the occasional cold snap makes us appreciate the mild days more.

Not this year, though. We had at least a week where lows stayed in the single digits. And that is Just Plain Wrong and needs to stop, or I'm going to have to move to New Mexico.

Well, spring is only a few days away, now. Hopefully things will warm up. With my luck, though, it'll get into the 50s and rain for weeks.


Editor's Picks

Give these folks a warm reception:

 Based On A True Story Open in new Window. [E]
It's a limerick!
by Kronocide Author Icon


 Invalid Item Open in new Window. []

by A Guest Visitor


 Invalid Item Open in new Window. []

by A Guest Visitor


 One Too Many, or Drinker's Dilemma Open in new Window. [18+]
A bard in angst is bad but a drunken bard is... you get the picture...
by Talisen Author Icon


 Invalid Item Open in new Window. []

by A Guest Visitor


 Invalid Item Open in new Window. []

by A Guest Visitor


 A good lunch spoiled Open in new Window. [E]
A poem about my lunch.
by Sullivan Author Icon

 
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Word from Writing.Com

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Ask & Answer

Last time, in "Musical ComedyOpen in new Window., I linked to a bunch of musical comedians.

Mummsy Author Icon: Oh thank you for starting off with Tom Lehrer! I was personally hoping you'd choose https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhuMLpdnOjY because . . . it's about Spring. *Bigsmile*

         Much more suitable for today's newsletter.


Quick-Quill Author Icon: I love Alan Sherman and Buddy hackett. Ray stevens is my all time favorite singing comedian!
Comedy is whatever tickles our funny bone. It when it tickles the rest of the world that we have a connections. Jeff dunham crackes me up, but I love his Peanut character the best.


         Good stuff. While it would be difficult for me to pick a favorite, I have to say that Tom Lehrer was the one I always go back to, because he was my first introduction to humorous songs, back in the early days of the Doctor Demento  Open in new Window. radio program. But Weird Al is consistently awesome.


And that's it for me for winter... whew! Until next month,

LAUGH ON!!!

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Word from our sponsor
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