  Comedy
This week: Edited by: The Milkman  
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When writing your next comedy story, poem, essay or eulogy, keep in mind these quotes that I found in the "Toastmaster's Treasure Chest"...
A man shows his character by what he laughs at --- German Proverb
I think Comedy writing is also a good indicator of what kind of person you are. So please take into consideration who it is you are laughing at.
Laughter: The sensation of feeling good all over, and showing it principally in one spot --- Josh Billings
You know he is right and the one spot to have it shown is right here in the Writing.Com Comedy Newsletter.
We like to hear people laugh, but not when we're chasing our hat down the street --- Author not listed
So write about chasing your Stories.Com baseball hat down the street and hopefully your reviewer won't say they laughed at you.
A pun is the lowest form of humor ~~~ when you don't think of it first --- Oscar Levant
My advice to beating your friends to the punnies, especially on Scroll... learn to type.
Lastly, and this tidbit will need no motherly advice from me...
No young man ever expects to grow up and be as dumb as his father --- Author not listed.
If you think you have what it takes to write humor, then you will want to check out this comedy inspired group held by my good friend melodyofmusic. I might even divulge a couple of my writing tips...
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Costumes
Unlike most of my Comedy Newsletter Editorials I purposely waited until the last minute to write this one. I've lived in the North Western part of Georgia since the beginning of the year. I've saw how the citizens who live below the Mason-Dixon line celebrate Easter, Independence Day, St.Patrick's Day and the first day of NASCAR... (Use your own judgement on attending these celebrations, especially if you are a Yankee, even a "Good" Yankee, like myself.)
Monday night, as I'm sure many of you are aware of, was All Saints Day or Halloween.
The day started off like any other day, the rooster crowed, the sun rose, and my Bessie and her friends began to moo to remind me that it was milking time. I looked forward to going to the barn to see what costumes the herd of dairy cows came up with this year. Previous years I've seen these cows parading around as race cars, zoo animals and football players. I was surprised this year when they wore the disquises of beef cows.
In the town I lived in before, only the young children participated in the door-to-door "Trick or Treat". These costumes reflected the movies of the previous year, Barbie dolls, and the old standby of ghosts and goblins and dracula. Most of the older kids didn't participate unless they were invited to a party. I decided to go to the local mall here, which is also the Mall of Georgia, and I was quite surprised with all of the tricksters or treaters they had there. It looked like I was the only one out of costume...
Some of these costumes were made from scratch. I saw one tin man made out of a silver-colored cardboard box, dryer vent tubing and a large metal funnel. Of course there were a share of Fantastic Four, Darth Vader, Witches, and Zombies. These were just the kids. The adults, and I'm afraid for most of these kids, really got into this holiday, even the Older generation; the grandmas, grandpas and the cheek-pinching aunts.
There were definitely some old cedar chests broken into to make these costumes. One lady wore a Minnie Mouse costume... she wasn't minnie or a mouse and I've also seen better legs on the little cheese-eating rodents. I saw several variations of witches, from a fishnet stocking, cleavage showing brunette to a geriatric, cane-weilding spell caster. The scariest character of all was old woman who tried to relive her cartoon watching days... short skirt, high heeled shoes, tight blouse. She was an age-enhanced Betty Boop. She was scary because the Boop was down around her knees.
I look forward to next year...when I can break out my costume for Halloween... A Published Author
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The Simple Life takes on a new format.
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I, unfortunately, remember most of these customs.
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You just might learn something.
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Time for dinner.
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Only a few more weeks.
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The main course.
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After the food comes the... shopping. |
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Some lovely comments left by my stalkers, er uhmmm fans...
Thanks for sacrificing your body for our NL entertainment, Moo!
Nikola~Asked Santa for a Pony! 
Milkman! I am a physical therapist, and believe me, I don't fit any of your fantasy descriptions! You will need your sense of humor to finish with your therapy, but keep it up and obey your therapist, ok??
schipperke
Milker Dude!
Loved your newsletter. I feel your pain. I hurt my back ahile back at Ralph's Grocery. I was stacking pallets from the Produce Dept. They were wet and heavy--water-logged. Everything was going OK until the stack got taller than I was. Then, POW! SNAP! CRUNCH! AHHHHHH! I can't even lift my kids now. Excuse me, I've gotta find my wheelchair...
billwilcox
Until next month this is The Milkman  saying, "Good laughs make good friends".
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Comedy: November 02, 2005 Issue [#695]
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