“What do you mean ‘parodies are exempt’ from copyright law”
~J.R.R. Tolkien

“Books haven’t changed much, I see.”
~A man coming out of a forty-three-year coma

“Guys, we filmed the wrong book.”
~Peter Jackson

The voice with the thick British accent was one octave higher than yesterday. No one in the family admitted her to the old folk’s home. She decided to have an operation on her foot and had to recover at this facility because she could not look after herself. Why did it have to be in my neck of the woods? She sat in the large lazy-boy chair wrapped in a crochet blanket, foot in the air, and her mouth moved at an incredible rate.

“I only have four weeks to go before I can go home, and I can’t stand it here. It’s boring, the food is terrible, and a crazy man barges in all the time. If I had my way, I’d be out of here right now. The worst part is, I’m surrounded by all these old people, and all they do is complain and talk so loud it’s driving me to the loony bin. Do you hear me?”

I blinked but inside my head, I rolled my eyes to the next dimension. The words, “But you’re—” hung in the air, and I finished the sentence in my head. . . . eighty-four.