TAKE YOUR PARTING GIFTS ON THE WAY OUT!

Raising daughters is a lifelong commitment or rather; one feels they should be committed for the good of mankind. As a mother of four daughters, I can vouch for the insanity level parents reach while bringing those precious little angelic infants from sweet cuddly balls of pure cherish to the dark side of lunar terror known as the ages between nine and nineteen. These darling daughters suddenly convert to shrew-like emotional lightning rods of high maintenance terrorists overnight, unbeknownst to the parents who headed off to bed following an evening of warm, fuzzy, family time and a game of Mille Bornes.

The stark sunlight fuses its way into the formerly tranquil domestic paradise and converts it to the new training ground of the female mutant power takeover. What happened to those dear darlings, donning ruffles and bows and pure adorability? Apprehensively, we parents must counteract the conquest manifested by perky preteen policy makers. The future has now revealed its ugly face. Arguably, with one teenage daughter threatening her mischief, followed by three nearly teens, born within thirty-six months of each other, we needed a clear plan that would work yet still guarantee we make it out alive.

Thus came the idea of preparing them for their imminent move to independence and life on their own. Yes, my friends, this was the nativity of the parting gift mentality! Each birthday and Christmas from that point included a strategically gift-wrapped piece of our freedom and their inevitable ability to survive outside the giant womb known as the family home. New beds and bureaus, stereos and televisions started appearing at their bedroom domains. They were thrilled with the lavish gifts bestowed upon them, unaware of our plan to coax them ever so gently out into the cruel world where they would have to grab the reins of self-sufficiency. They were lovingly instructed on mastering the fine art of easy cooking together with important color-coding skills of laundering.

Yes, the plan was carried out superbly. As each daughter approached her adult years, she could sniff the air of freedom from parental pressures. After all, there were in existence almost all the creature comforts she would need in her own apartment. Eureka! The plan worked!  Each one actually thought the idea of moving out had been utterly self-orchestrated. They would show us parents how superfluous we really are.

While each one of the young women left the family home to seek a life on her own, I reminded them to take care of all their “parting gifts” because they would be replacing them with their own hard earned dollars. It was at that point that the formerly pretty in pink cherubs realized that the generous gifts plied to them over the years had a meaning deeper than their youthful brains could imagine. They were components of a higher plan to move them along to experience self-sufficiency. I am proud to say those charming and intelligent young women have accomplished that goal considerably.

As time went on and one of our daughters became the mother of her very own daughter, the picture of her face all lit up with such awe-inspiring happiness over the precious birth made me smile and silently wonder how many years she would wait until the inevitable distribution of the “parting gifts”.

I guess we parents are not so dumb after all.