Do You Still Love Me?

"You did what? "

"It's just a little loan, baby. I'll give it back at the end of the month."

"Don't you 'baby' me, you ugly, sonuvabitch. Do you know how long it took me to save that up? Six months! Six months of no manicures, no pedicures, cutting my own hair. Six months, you lousy, good-for-nothing--"

"It's my money anyway..."

"Oh, hell no. I know you didn't just say what I thought I heard you say."

"You heard me, woman! I earned that money. You can stand there all day and holler at me till you're blue in the face, but the bottom line is: I earned that money so I have a right to it."

"That's it! I quit this job! I am sick and tired of this!"

"Okay, that's right. Just keep yelling so the neighbors hear you. Is that how you get off these days?"

"Well, you wouldn't know."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, come on. 'Yeah, baby, just like that. Oooh, that makes me feel sooo good.'"

"No way."

"Fakin' it, asshole! For years now!"

"No way!"

"I've made friends with the vacuum cleaner."

"I think I'm going to throw up."

"Go ahead! But, if you do, you clean up after yourself, 'cause I ain't gonna clean up your shit anymore. I'm sick and tired of being so under-appreciated! That's it. I'm leaving you unless you answer me correctly."

"What?"

"Do you still love me?"

"Of course, I do."

"Liar! You answered too quickly! Tell me the goddamn truth. Do you still love me?"

"Yes."

"For once in your life, tell me the truth!"

"I am telling you the truth!"

"I'm giving you an ultimatum: me or video poker?"

"You, of course."

"You lying sackashit! You'd pick video poker over me. Don't lie to me!"

"I'm not lying."

"Yes you are! Tell me the truth: me or video poker?"

"Fine. Video poker."

"See? See what I mean? You would pick video poker over your wife! You are a horrible, horrible man! I need to leave you..."

"Oh, shit. Don't cry, baby. Look, I'm sorry, OK? I love you, baby, you know that."

"No, you love video poker. You said so yourself..."

"Shh. There, there. C'mere...ooh, you sexy thang."

"Stop it."

"Ooh, shake that thang, you sexy mama."

"I said stop it."

"Shake it. Shake it. Shake it. Shake it."

"Eeek! That tickles!"

"You forgive me?"

"No."

"You forgive me."

"Whatever. Ohmigod, it's eight o'clock already!"

"So?"

"American Idol's on! They're revealing the Top 24!"

"Shit, is that tonight?"

"Yes! Oooh, I'm hoping that girl from Oregon gets through. She's so good."

"She's hot, too."

"She's what?"



Written for the 02/12 to 02/16 ""The Dialogue 500" " Challenge
Prompt: I've read somewhere that writing is a matter of trusting your heart and gut more than logic, because people aren't logical. Characters should do crazy things because that's real life. This week I want people having a conversation who are illogical *raises one Spock eyebrow*. Give me a crazy dialogue.
Word Count: 456