Ice Tubing

My cousin and I have always gotten along very well with each other. We don't have the same hobbies or interests. We even had completely different upbringings. What worked so well between us is that we think very much alike. Which is dangerous when one of us is thinking stupid.

Try as I might though, I couldn't get across the thrills of snow tubing to him. After a day drive to a mountain range with snow, I figured I might get a practical lesson in. Sure enough, there wasn't a designated place for snow tubing. Looking at our options, we decided to go snowboarding. Even with my comical luck, nothing went wrong. Things just went stupid.

On our way back to the car, we found a large snowbank. I looked at it and told him it would be perfect for a short snow tubing session. We came to the agreement that we would use cheaply made plastic snow sleds that looked like over-sized trash can lids. (Sorry I have no pictures of them)

Closer inspection of our snow bank revealed that it had a layer of hard ice on top of it. This did not deter us as we believed it would enhance our speed to the bottom. We climbed on the 5 foot snow bank and decided to race to the bottom.

My snow slide won by a holy (edited to remove GC content).

Improper planning failed to reveal that the 5 foot snow bank was actually a 5 foot ice cliff. I shot off the ice at an incredible speed.

When I hit the ground, a lot snap filled the air.
But there was no pain
I looked to the sky and saw a white light
I started seeing my relatives
Funny enough, my fear of death had vanished.
I looked deep into the light and said
I'm goin' home

As my eyesight returned to normal, I realized the light was just a patch of snow. The relatives I was seeing were not dead, but in fact hovering over me trying to figure out why I was twitching. Of course, the first thing they asked was why I was going home on the first day of the vacation. Only two things broke that day.

My slide and my dignity.

My cousin had fast enough reflexes to make sure he landed properly. As I limped for the day, he refused to let me live it down.