Misery loves it's company

I sat in the bathtub and turned on the water. Not too hot, not too cold, but a lot colder than I was used to. I lay down in the porcelain coffin, and I let the water surround me, blocking my hearing, my eye sight, and eventually my breathing. It was weird to only be able to have two of my senses, one of which I didn’t even need at the moment. I kind of enjoyed it. Eventually though, I had to breathe again. Reluctantly, I pushed my head past the thin layer that kept me from reality. I took a deep breath, finished the text message to my facebook status, and put my phone on the edge of the sink. Then I sat back in the bathwater, the faucet still on, and lay back.

I started playing with the little metal piece that switched the faucet to the shower head with my foot. I found that when I pushed that metal piece up to only half way, the shower and the faucet both stayed on, but the water pressure was terrible. I felt the water from the shower head trickle onto my legs, colder than the faucet water. Probably from having to fall so far to caress my body. I liked the little icicles that fell from the sky, it was almost like sitting in the rain. I smiled as I unclogged the drain, and put the shower curtain back inside the bathtub. I turned on the shower head all the way, and it felt incredible. I felt every drop like an ice cube on my skin. At first I cringed, but then I just sat there. I enjoyed it. It was so…numbing. I missed being numb, I guess. As weird as that sounds.

When my body adjusted to the temperature, I made the water even colder. There was almost no heat felt on my skin, only ice. I drew my knees up, propped my elbows onto them, and pushed the palms of my hands into my closed eye, until I could see colors behind my eyelids. It was like lightening. Blue, pink, green, and purple lightning, right behind my eyelids. I took my palms away after about 2 minutes and lifted my head towards the source of the water, eyes still closed. It was like I could see the drops of water as they fell onto my face. I smiled. I probably looked mighty silly, smiling with my eyes closed at the shower. I didn’t care though. The only way I can attempt to describe the feeling is by using Daredevil as an example. When he’s fighting that big guy in the rain, and he can almost see the rain in a way, because his sense of hearing was heightened due to being blind. They way the director made that scene look was how the water hitting me looked from the back of my eyelids. It was beautiful.

I was never satisfied with the temperature of the water, I kept wanting it colder. I wanted to sit and bask in the miserable coldness. Eventually it couldn’t get any colder. I was very disappointed. However, I was shivering, so I decided it was probably time to get out of the shower, and back into reality. My lips were slightly blue. My arms, legs and torso were bright red. I smiled at myself in the mirror. I liked that. It felt good. I looked at the time on my phone. It had only been ten minutes, but it felt like an hour. I shivered all the way back to my room, and as a matter of fact, the remembrance of such a time still causes me to shiver.