Feelings

Feelings are funny. And complex.

They usually come with labels so we can cope better.

But ever so often, a formless, nameless, wayward feel comes along.

A recalcitrant little fellow, pin balling its way through your system.

A constant ebb and flow leaving you drained and inundated.

It is safe to say, such a feeling has come my way.

Writing lends it some form, albeit a weird amoebic shape growing by the second, consuming everything in its wake.

I’ve felt a pinch of this before.

It was on a Sunday I think and I didn’t want Monday to come.

I felt it another time, in the last few days of a spectacular Summertime holiday.

But this time it is more. Much more.

It's a tenacious, ubiquitous feel.

Sometimes, it’s a heavy lump in the pit of my stomach.

Other times, it’s in my heart, tugging and toying away.

The combined effect? Goes straight to my head.

It’s the feel I feel knowing that in a few short days I will be thousands of kilometers away from the beautiful boy in the picture.

8176, to be precise.

For the next few months, him and I, we’ll be seeing different skies, ticking to different clocks.

I’ll rely on technology, a poor substitute, to feel the warmth in that smile, the goofiness in his guffaws. Oh, and the snores in his sleep.

Everything is eclipsed by this feeling.

It’s got me inside out.

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