Luck o' the Irish

I picked up a hundred-dollar bill from a pile of leaves in the gutter. This must be my lucky day. I took the money and went straight to the pub. I bought myself a pint of Guinness. Somehow halfway through my pint, I got roped into a game of darts.

Usually, my aim is poor to middling. But that game, I couldn’t miss. I hit every spot I targeted. I won the game and took the pot! Up five hundred dollars in one night! How lucky could I get! I bought a round for the sorry few still in the bar. They each bought another round after mine and I was feeling quite warm by the time I left.

I staggered through the streets, singing sea shanties badly. I passed a homeless man. He was sleeping and just looked hungry to me. I knelt next to him and with a cockeyed smile I touched his shoulder. He jerked awake, "Don't steal me blanket!"

"I wasn't sir!" I slurred at him. "I bet you could use some money." Generous to a fault I reached into my wallet and grabbed a hundred dollars. I held it out to him. "Go get yourself a meal!"

The man looked at me in surprise, "Are you sure?"

"Absssolutely! I won it on some darts in a bar and me pa told me not to gamble. But I figure if I give it away it won't ruin my luck." I shoved the money practically in his face.

The man gathered up his blanket and other belongings and took the money. He scurried off along the street to the nearest restaurant. Hopefully, if he drinks it up he spreads the fun and buys a round for the rest o the restaurant. I put my wallet into my pocket and kept on my path home. My heart was full of goodwill to spilling over but it was not as full as my bladder.

I still had several dollars left in my winnings as I walked home. My feet beat a path into a convenience store to pee.

“Customers only!” the clerk announced.

I shrugged and stepped up to the counter, “I’ll take a lotto quick pick, please.” He printed it out and I paid. I tucked the ticket in my wallet and went to take a piss. Then continued on my way home. My bed caught me as I fell asleep.

The next morning I awoke to the news blaring on my radio. “That’s right folks some lucky sap right here in town won the lotto megabucks last night, a hundred million of them. Congratulations Ma’am or Sir. I am available for adoption.” The DJ joked.

I rubbed my aching head and licked the dry roof of my mouth. It didn’t occur to me that I could be that sap until I remembered my lucky night. I crawled from bed and checked my wallet for the ticket. I looked up the winning numbers on my phone. They were a spot on match. "What a day to be Irish!"



510 words
prompt ▼

The March Prompt is: Write a story about a lucky Irishman, a pub, and a pint of Guinness. The last line must be: "What a day to be Irish."