Isn't It Pedantic?

An ode to grammarians

Isn't It Pedantic?
(to the tune of Isn't It Romantic by Rodgers & Hart)


Isn't it pedantic?

To check your grammar with an arbitrary rule,
and parse your sentences just like I did in school.

I’ll look for commas placed where commas shouldn’t be,
or missing ‘twixt two clauses written independently.

Isn't it pedantic?

To insist that its is more correct than it's,
and their use of they’re and there just gives me fits.

I hear the stutter of a run-on in my ear,
and the subject of a verb that isn’t clear.

Isn't it pedantic?

To insist on fewer words or maybe less,
and the effect of your affect is quite a mess.

Unclear antecedents really send me round the bend,
or when a sentence with a preposition ends.

Isn't it pedantic?

To match up the possessive and the plural,
sentence fragments are enough to make one hurl.

Checking modifiers helps to pass the time,
their misplacement really ought to be a crime.

Isn't it pedantic?

Isn't it pedantic?