I Am My Own Worst Critic

NARRATOR: Your younger self is typing away at their computer. They are trying very hard to write whatever they think is good writing. But all they can think about is nonsense. You, your present self, is shaking your head at your younger self. They don’t have to try make their piece so perfect. They could just…write. You step in and look at the computer screen over their shoulder.
YOU: Slow down! You’re not competing in a race.
YOUNGER YOU: (jumps and turns around) Who are you and where did you come from?

YOU: I’m you. Only older. And wiser.
YOUNGER YOU: Yeah, sure. So, what do you want?
YOU: To tell you that you’re doing this all wrong. You’re overly describing things and your story is filled with cliches. And the dialogue is very unrealistic.
YOUNGER YOU: Okay, who are you? The story critic?
YOU: I’m not just a story critic. I’m YOUR story critic.
YOUNGER YOU: Well, go away! I can handle all this on my own.
YOU: (suspiciously) You sure about that?
YOUNGER YOU: Yeah I’m sure. (waves their hand to shoo you away) Now, off you go!
YOU: I’m not going anywhere. You have a contest to enter and I’m not going to let you send that.
YOUNGER YOU: (turns back to you) How do you know I’m entering a contest?

YOU: Hello! I’m you, remember?
YOUNGER YOU: Oh, right. Well, if you’re going to be here, can you at least help me write this? It’s harder than I thought.
YOU: That’s what I’m here for. (leans in and takes a look at the screen) Okay, move. Get up.
YOUNGER YOU: What are you doing?
YOU: I’m helping you win the contest.
YOUNGER YOU: You can’t just rewrite the story for me. That’s cheating!
YOU: I’m you. I can do what I want. It’s not like the hosts will notice, right?
YOUNGER YOU: (crosses their arms as they wait for you to finish)
YOU: Geez. I can’t believe I even thought about posting this online.
YOUNGER YOU: Are you done?

YOU: Almost. Just gotta do a few more touches.
NARRATOR: A few minutes later…
YOU: There! (gets up from the chair)
YOUNGER YOU: (sits back down and goes through the story) Why can’t I write like this?
YOU: You’re learning. And that’s okay. That’s a part of the writing process. You start off a bit rough. Then, you grow on your way. Don’t beat yourself up.
YOUNGER YOU: (turns to glare at you) Just like you did me a few seconds ago?
YOU: I didn’t mean to. I just feel like you – I -, have potential. Just don’t give up. Ever. Okay?
YOUNGER YOU: (sighs) Sure. Thanks for stopping by.
YOU: No problem. Good luck on that contest.