My Homework Ate My Dog

The first of many homework excuse poems to come!

My Homework Ate my Dog

I did my homework! I seriously did!
This is why it isn't turned in:
The paper seemed to be very deranged,
It hissed like it had rabies or mange.
It instantly turned to my dog Pete,
Then it inched towards his furry feet.
It folded some teeth like self-origami,
Then eyed my dog like a roll of salami.
Paper pulp drooled on the floor,
It opened its jaws, now my dog is no more.
The cursed paper spat out the bones & collar,
The Assignment was a murderous mauler.
Angrily I picked up that thin killer;
I incinerated and pureed it to compost filler.
How this happened, God only knows.
I hope that paper will gruesomely decompose.
So teacher, you should be in a cell confined,
For that dog-gone homework that you assigned.