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Tuesday, Jun. 25, 2024

2:07am EDT

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Le Voyage Magnifique

by Dave

Rated: 18+ · Book · Writing · #1236257

A log of the magnificent journey across the vast sea of my imagination.

A sig awarded for winning "The Anything Goes Poetry Contest"

A log of our magnificent journey.

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Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

StephBee

Jun 4, 2024 at 6:51pm
In response to "Military Mom"

My comment is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem is a nice tribute to a military mother.

WHAT I LIKED

I can totally relate to this poem having served in the military myself. There are often times one worries and finds things to pass the time, but their loved one is never far from their hearts.

STRUCTURE

This is a villanelle. A villanelle is a highly structured poem with 5 tercets and ends with a quatrain. There are 2 repeating rythmes and 2 repeating refrains. The poem followed the structure. I thought the repeating refrains were very respectful and reverent. There's a nice rythme and flow when spoken outloud.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase font and make easier to read on the website.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: With steadfast devotion, she prays to relieve the anxiety" The description draws up a visual of a mother, prayerful, with a holy book, or a passage, heart on their sleeve, looking to find peace. It's a great description and taps into somber emotion well.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. The title is a nice fit for the poem. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

[Visit the entry for more...]

StephBee

Dec 7, 2023 at 9:47pm
In response to "Thanksgiving Restoration"

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

Inspired by a quote from Henry van Dyke, the progresses from feeling, to expression to action inspired by a thanksgiving gathering.

WHAT I LIKED

I like how each stanza started with "I'm thankful for..." The repetition was as soothing as the sentiments expressed.

STRUCTURE

As per the notes, this is loosely based on a monchielle styled poem.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "the smell of Grammy's turkey dressing,"

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The poem progresses much like van Dyke's quote, from feeling to expression to action/being in the moment of a thanksgiving gathering.

[Visit the entry for more...]

Kåre Enga in Montana

Oct 30, 2023 at 1:36am
In response to "A Halloween Celebration"

Nice rhythm and alliteration! The rhymes work as well. Edit and versify and voila... you have a free-verse poem (or a prose poem) for Shadows & Light.

My dreamy brain... ghoulish? dark? My nightmares are definitely disturbing and don't always dissipate with daylight.

Needless to say, I like it.

Kåre Enga in Montana

May 19, 2023 at 9:25am
In response to "Poppies"

I do like it. The rhythm is nice. I appreciate bravery/Normandy/memory.

"because" doesn't work for me. No suggestions though.

1 Like

StephBee

Jan 5, 2023 at 5:40pm
In response to "SILENT NIGHT"

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM
A poem about the nature of the Christmas season.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the acrostic of "silent night" painted the beauty of winter.

STRUCTURE

This is an acrostic poem. It is where the first letter of the line spell out a word or a phrase.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to make the poem easy to read. Good use of WDC ML.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no other suggestions. Nice word play. You can feel the weather nipping at your cheeks. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

** Animated Images For Use By Premium+ Only **

Dave

Jan 3, 2023 at 8:32am
In response to "The Gravel Path"

I am glad you posted this on the forum so everyone else can enjoy it.

1 Like

Kåre Enga in Montana

Jan 2, 2023 at 3:37pm
In response to "The Gravel Path"

I hurry down a grovel path
to hide from mighty blokes
residing where the mountains scream
at rabid city folks.

I soothe my wounds from acid tongues
among these squirrely butts
and count my blessings every time
White Rabbit brings me nuts.

K.E.

2 Like

Kåre Enga in Montana

Dec 31, 2022 at 12:04am
In response to "The Telegram"

Nicely done. Eastern Montana has a BIG sky. I live in the west snuggled between mountains.

I loved the openness of Kansas... one reason why I'm going back to Isan in Thailand. "A little bit of who I am" resonates with wide open agricultural areas.

Dave

Dec 10, 2022 at 9:12am
In response to "The Telegram"

Thanks, Kat!

1 Like

Redtowrite

Dec 10, 2022 at 8:51am
In response to "The Telegram"

Paints a breathtaking visual and a feeling of freedom and lightness from our daily troubles. Beautiful writing. Holiday peace to you.

Kat

June 28, 2022 at 2:47pm

#1034409

Magic

On a cold winter day,

aroma gives notice
Grandma's baking gingerbread
made with molasses
and overflowing love,

while children laugh and play
with snowman in the yard,

until their mom calls them in
to trim the Christmas tree
and savor scrumptious meal.

Once again, we enjoy
the magic of family
gathered 'round the hearth.

Mistletoe and moonlight
stoke romantic embers
to keep the family growing.

Like • Comment

June 12, 2022 at 12:08pm

#1033749

The Laboratory

In the laboratory of life,
I have come to the edge of my wits,
overlooking the end of the world
as we know it.

My ancient ways now cause me strife,
and computer programs give me fits--
so many topics now unfurled
for the poet.

Like • Comment • View 1 comment

May 31, 2022 at 10:25am

#1033096

Greetings From Your Diary

Good morning, Darling!

How are you today? I eagerly await receipt
of your most intimate thoughts, impressions,
fantasies, doodles, giggles, fears, and tears.

Please do not forget that I am always here
to comfort and support.

Have no doubt. Your deepest secrets
are safe with me.

47 words

Like • Comment

May 6, 2022 at 3:28pm

#1032045

The Island

"Ruby Throats" - a painting by Sage Vaughn

The battles rage
with helicopters all around,
as troops engage
in bloody combat on the ground.

In time of war,
an island of serenity
distracts from gore,
preserving our humanity.

8 lines

4 Like • Comment

May 3, 2022 at 5:04pm

#1031870

Poetry

Poetry is my security blanket.
Thesaurus and rhyming dictionary
are constant companions
who bring a sense of comfort to my life.

Poetry is my spirit's banquet,
nourishing my hungry soul.
Overcoming challenge makes me feel whole,
for which I sincerely thank it.

Like • Comment

April 30, 2022 at 11:03am

#1031701

Dandelions

The dandelions make me gay.
Their yellow blossoms brighten day
among the cow pies on display
in farmer's plot.
They serve emotional buffet
when gut's in knot.

Some people label them a weed,
but I afford such rot no heed,
because the Man Upstairs decreed
there is no skew.
Equality is guaranteed
within His view.

Notes ▼

1 Like • Comment

April 28, 2022 at 1:55pm

#1031550

Grandpa Pete

Grandpa Pete looked to sky and wondered when
the rain would come.
For years, he fought this dusty regimen
as mission's drum
kept driving him to work the arid field.
In fervent prayer, to God he appealed
for some relief
in his belief
the land could bring a worthy yield.

Last year, he finally gave up his stance
and passed away,
concluding perennial spirit dance
he had each day
with dilapidated barn, its roof caved in.
The rotting walls remain through thick and thin
for all to see
in memory
of Grandpa and his steadfast grin.

Notes ▼

1 Like • Comment

April 25, 2022 at 7:47pm

#1031369

Howdy!

Welcome to my world!
I am the gateway through which
authors, poets, journalists
must pass to connect with
their audience.

Their sensuous touch
stimulates my keys to record
their precious thoughts
for posterity.

My # symbol can link
gnarly internet memes and bawdy jokes
with millions of like-minded fanatics.

The grand & joins two lovers
in tender embrace,
while the rest of us go chasing
$ around the globe.

Before long, the entire alphabet
from "a" to "z"
is joining in the party
on the cloud.

86 words

Like • Comment

April 18, 2022 at 6:18pm

#1030950

The Promise

Dark clouds bestow
a manna flow
on fields below
to save the day.

The crops accept
the promise kept
when Heaven wept
on full display.

Notes on the Rhupunt form of poetry ▼

2 Like • Comment

April 10, 2022 at 11:43am

#1030476

Pigeons

Enroute to laundromat,
I came under attack.
A pigeon stole my hat
and would not give it back,

and then his brother
dropped a present on my head
and then another
before he finally fled.

Like • Comment

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