Well this was beautiful! I like the splendid imagery and the rhythm was spot-on. This is one of those rare poems that I want to read out-loud to someone because I like how well it rolls off the tongue. One teensy bit of advice: the verse where it says "(the tides would work because me)"--I think there should be a comma right after the "because" to indicate a pause. Or you could insert the word "of" so that it read "the tides would work because of me"--you would also still keep your rhythm! Well done!
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/acorrin
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 10:40pm on Nov 21, 2024 via server WEBX1.