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453 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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76
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Review by Mysterious Wolf Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I liked this because it shows all of the aspects of a person who just needs to have someone, even if it cannot be admitted. The part that I liked the best was "You’re too young to be so broken, so desolate, so alone, so…empty.
You’re too beautiful to wear that frown. How beautiful you are, with tears running down your face, and the pain dripping onto the floor. How beautiful you will be when you find your way again.How beautiful you’ll be when you smile again" It really got through to me how someone that is not depressed can tell one who is that there he/she is beautiful no matter how many scars are on his/her body. I also liked the wonder that is you because it really shows that he/she is unique and should not bury what he/she has to offer.

Great job. *Smile*

*Star* *Star* *Star*
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77
Review of Inside Us  Open in new Window.
Review by Mysterious Wolf Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
What I liked: I liked how there will be no outcasts and how you will take comfort in the night. It makes me think of a vampire whose eyes adjust to the nighttime. Also, a wolf may howl at the moon. I get these notions from the line: out we come into the unknown. The line: comfort in the clouds is sweet and reveals a little bit of rest and relaxation in the night. This poem does leave room for interpretation. Many interesting things occur at night.

Corrections: "Becomes mine" as if to show you took the essence with you and sounds better; We belong. (add a period) No longer outcasts, We will no longer be last. (to show who you are talking about : we)

Other comments: Good job.

*Star* *Heart* *Star*

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Review by Mysterious Wolf Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
What I liked: I find that this was a sad poem with excellent description. He was rebellious with a wild cry that somehow made you like him. Yet, somehow, deep inside, you knew he would not be the one. I loved the line "winning my heart with his distracting air and powerful posture". It describes him as breathtaking but no one's to have. A person who can never be anyone's though everyone wants him. His true love and passion is nature, who will never leave his side.

Corrections: I see none.

Other comments: Great job.

*Star* *Heart* *Star*
79
79
Review of The Angels Crying  Open in new Window.
Review by Mysterious Wolf Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this song. I write lyrics too. I am just curious how this would sound when music is being played. I am guessing an acoustic slower version for the verses and then maybe a faster pace for the rest. The concept of the angels crying when you are sighing is a thought that is sad to think of. How one person can affect your life I find to be an intriguing thought. The last line: that will never set me free...it is as if you are bound to her love forever...
I liked it a lot.

Great job.

*Star* *Heart* *Star*
80
80
Review of Dark Poet  Open in new Window.
Review by Mysterious Wolf Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
What I liked: I liked the whole creepy feel, especially the last quartet. "from the shades within my head" is a great line because it shows how thoughts, images, and beings lurk and invade your way of being. The picture at the beginning said it all because it got me in the mood of the poem. While engulfed, I noticed the part about parole, which I found to be humerous of practically putting a being that could exterminate everyone into the natural world.

Corrections: None as I see

Other comments: Great job. Your portrayal of feelings was relayed well.

*Star* *Heart* *Star*


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81
Review of The Lovers Dance  Open in new Window.
Review by Mysterious Wolf Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This poem I enjoyed reading because it made making love into a beautiful dance. As I read, it progressed like a song, lyrically flowing. The features of a woman along with her desire to be his moved me as you continued to write. I see no corrections needed. I love the last line: to climb upon you and do the lover's dance. It is fantastic.
It as if you become enchanted and mesmorized as the girl who is seeing her man walk to her as if a romantic scene from a movie.
Great job.

*Star* *Heart* *Star*
82
82
Review of Six Word Stories  Open in new Window.
Review by Mysterious Wolf Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
My favorite of the ones you wrote:

I let her borrow my tears.- bittersweet

I love you… I think. - makes you question the person you are saying it to

A paradox: Loneliness is never alone. - I find that a thought provoking one.

"Come one, come all," smiles Death - hilarious my favorite

Cigarette, sleep, and dreams of fire. - a tale of a fellow whose happiness was non existent with only misery in his midst

"Things will get better," he lied. - a classic line that is terribly sad but true


Excellent job with this.

*Star* *Heart* *Star*
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83
Review of Precious Breath  Open in new Window.
Review by Mysterious Wolf Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
I find that this is an interesting poem about how to recovery from a disease or disorder of some kind. I like the line "You swim in your selfish sorrows until currents take you under". This is a true statement. Everyone thinks whatever happens to them is the worst things that could have went wrong. However, if we just communicate with each other, we would realize that there are many people who have it a lot worse off than us. If we leave our selfishness behind, we could help these people.

Good job.

*Star* *Heart* *Star*
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Review of THE BOATMAN  Open in new Window.
Review by Mysterious Wolf Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
What I liked: I liked how you compared a boat ride to how you feel about love. I liked the part that had said "o my boat stay strong, o my oars don't calm down, o my dearest open your arms, take me out of the see receive me with my boat and oars". To want your boat to not sink and for a steady path of love is definetly something to strive for. I thought it was a creative idea. To feel so close but so far is a frustrating feeling. Yet, it will work out.

Corrections: take me out of the "sea" instead of see. Besides that, it is written well.

Other comments: Great job.

*Star* *Heart* *Star*
85
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Review of Statistic  Open in new Window.
Review by Mysterious Wolf Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Wow. That is a tragic story. I loved the last line "order is restored as yet another teen suicide is made into another statistic". It is as if it does not matter who died just that she is now a number. That must have been great for her self esteem. Indeed this is a serious issue and must be resolved. Suicide is never an answer. Yet, how do we prevent it from happening? How can you tell a person to be happy already and that you are tired of them moping around? How can you relate to something like this and tell the person to move on? It has to be difficult. Most of all, it has to be possible, but I do not have an answer to how to fix it.

Good job.

*Star* *Heart* *Star*
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Review of Chapped Lips  Open in new Window.
Review by Mysterious Wolf Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
I see your vision with the chapped lips compared to hearts. When you are hurt, I believe you never truly recover. However, I think it is possible to love again. When trust in a person is lost, it is never fully regained. Chapped lips are like being hurt time and time again by family, friends, and co- workers. Why would your friend just all of a sudden decide not to talk to you? Why would your love betray you by cheating? Did these people want you to feel miserable? Though answers are not always clear, we must move on in order to survive. Broken by your friends and family but there will be recovery.

Great job.

*Star* *Heart* *Star*
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Review by Mysterious Wolf Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
What I liked: It is scary of how true and real these statistics are. The story I thought would turn to how he was abused as a kid which is the cycle of abuse if he never outgrew it. I cannot imagine what it would be like to have someone you love and care for everyday just out of nowhere hurt you. The emotional scars have to be devastating. If this was based on experience, I do sincerely apologize to you since I know not of a way to help.

Corrections: It was written well.

Other comments: Great job.

*Star* *Heart* *Star*
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88
Review of I Promise  Open in new Window.
Review by Mysterious Wolf Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
It makes me want to know more about what had happened to the family for it toever had gotten that way. A boy so handsome that turns to ruins is awful. I felt connected to the boy in a way of wondering why this had to happen to him. Whenever good happens, bad follows. I suppose it is life, but it is beyond that. It brings out a feeling of hate why he had to beaten up and worse. This is written well, and it is a sad ending. Definetly abusive situation going on in the house..... Good job with this story.

*Star* *Heart* *Star*
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Review of Sudden Departure  Open in new Window.
Review by Mysterious Wolf Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
That is really sad but realistic. It is as if no one can ever understand what you went through. It does not matter what they say or what they do. You would still feel lonely as anything. I can relate to that feeling...as if nothing else exists or matters. To appreciate the darkness for its beauty and lucious lull is good. All we can do is hope for things to work in our favor though trudging along life day by day. It may be extremely difficult, but it is possible. It has to be. Good job with your relaying of feelings.

*Star* *Heart* *Star*
90
90
Review by Mysterious Wolf Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Haha nice. I liked the last line, "you know the material is juicy and certainly a page turner". I do not even mind that what you wrote was a complete venting of thoughts despite talking to yourself within the piece. I liked it cause it showed that you are you, and no one can change that. You are unique as you said. It is hard to see the good when a shadow of depression hovers over you. But as we are told: anything is possible.

Good job.

*Star* *Heart* *Star*
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Review of Love Unopened  Open in new Window.
Review by Mysterious Wolf Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
What I liked: I liked the concept of love unopened. Just the idea that two people ignore the instinct to act on the feelings that they have for each other. The emotions were portrayed easily and beautifully through your words.

Corrections: I was not crazy that the first part sounded like a poem and the second part as a story. I would suggest making the first part a story like the second. Also, there are a lot of run on sentences in the second section.

An example: He still runs, avoiding me at all costs least he should be consumed by the unknown forces that draw him to me, and give in to what I have already given into, and I wait, impatiently but I do wait.

Possible revision: He still runs, avoiding me at all costs. At least, he should be consumed by the unknown forces that draw him to me. He should give in to what I had already given into. I wait impatiently, but I do wait.

Other comments: Great job.

*Star* *Heart* *Star*
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Review of One more day  Open in new Window.
Review by Mysterious Wolf Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
What I liked: I liked the idea that this person is the one reason you are alive. Also, the loving gestures of being held and wanted really do make up a relationship. It is extremely difficult to lose a person who you loved for so many reasons. I liked the last part that had said cries going unheard without your love beside you.

Corrections: So hold me tight, if only in dreams...maybe you can add the word only in my dreams.

Other comments: I really could relate to the emotions that were portrayed in this poem such as: loneliness, passion, sadness, and unable to get over a relationship. Great job!

*Star* *Heart* *Star*

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Review of NON EXISTENT LOVE  Open in new Window.
Review by Mysterious Wolf Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
What I liked: This shows the diversity of culture. My grandmother came from Honduras and into the US. She did not speak any English, only Spanish. She told me her story of how she would have to translate each word from her homework and look at the dictionary. It was hard for her to get through though she told the story in a smile. She met my grandfather and made it out very well. This poem shows that it is hard to get through coming from a different country. Though the world is cruel, there are those few people who have a heart and love others as he would like to be treated.

Corrections: Your style is different, but I like it. It emphasizes each line.

Other comments: Great job!

*Star* *Heart* *Star*
94
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Review by Mysterious Wolf Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This made me laugh really hard. I never read anything like it before. That was above creative, it was genius. I would have never came up with an idea like that. Excellent job. Some of my favorite lines were: "You insist on talking like a gangster. Sorry to break it to you bud, but your white", and "Your first name is awful. I could never imagine yelling it out in a fit of rage or passion". People who try to act cool usually do not succeed at it. Not being able to yell out the name in a fit of rage or passion must mean the name must really sound terrible.

Awesome job.

*Star* *Heart* *Star*
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95
Review of Depletion  Open in new Window.
Review by Mysterious Wolf Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
What I liked the most: Wow. That is amazing what keeping a secret could do to your mentality. It makes me wonder: what is the secret that is worth taking your life over? How could you lose a person for knowing something? It makes me inquire whether it was significant only in your eyes which makes you crazy or if it really is a big deal.

Corrections: I think there should be a few periods in this poem. An example would be putting one after it. Also, another one should be placed after take a dozen pills.

Other comments: Good job. The ending was tragic. No one should die due to a secret.

*Star* *Heart* *Star*
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Review of To Every End  Open in new Window.
Review by Mysterious Wolf Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
What I liked the most: {c: green} I think this was very descriptive, and I enjoyed the imagery. I liked how you said " the hero then is he who Stands inside himself; she who rallies to herself; they who redirect the dark. My take on it is that the heroes are the man and woman who are not afraid to be themselves and overrule the darkness. There is a storm that involves a lot of wind and confusion of one's mind. You would have to fight to remain sane.

Corrections: It is written well.

Other comments: Great job.

*Star* *Heart* *Star*
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97
Review of My Dreams  Open in new Window.
Review by Mysterious Wolf Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
What I liked: I like the line: to ignite a fire that is long over do". It is sweet and passionate. To want your love to become a major part of your life is an honor. Also, I could imagine this being a dream about a person that you may want but in reality does not exist.

Corrections: It is written well. I do not know about the last line because it is confusing. Why would you swear on the bible to prove your love?

Other comments: Great job.

*Star* *Heart* *Star*
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Review by Mysterious Wolf Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Awe.....

What I liked: I liked that you were not afraid to release your emotions on paper. The girl you loved meant everything to you. She remains in your memory as the best thing that could have ever happened to you. It is thoughtful and shows how much she affected you.
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Review of Do You Love Me?  Open in new Window.
Review by Mysterious Wolf Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
What I liked: I liked that when she was about to leave, he said that he was falling fast for her. It was sweet. It is a nice poem about a truthful relationship.

Corrections: I do not understand how if she was an angel, how did she fall? I know that she will always be there for when he says he is in love with her.

Other comments: Good job.

*Star* *Heart* *Star*

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Review by Mysterious Wolf Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
What I liked: I liked how realistic Neel was and then was a ghost. It was great because when the girl said she was breaking away from him and then Neel wanted to speak to him. That was indeed creepy. I liked how it tranformed into his own struggles during the story. The beginning of the story was boring. It did not catch my attention. Only when it got to Raven meeting Neel did it get interesting. To me, I got the character of Raven. He gets what he wants no matter who he steps on. After all, he had to get another girl to do his dirty work to get Sonal. It was inevitable that she would break up with him. Money does not buy love.

Corrections The spiteful wind of a bleak, icy February blasted down the windshield making howling sounds. change to: The spiteful wind of a bleak and icy February blasted down the windshield. This made howling sounds.

Was she cheating on him, he wondered. add "Was she cheating on him?" he wondered.

Other comments: Great job!

*Star* *Heart* *Star*

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