OMG This is so cute. I really feel for the little guy. Although I am not that short, I am still short. At 5' almost 1" Going grocery shopping gives me the biggest headache. Not only am I, short I am also a 77 yr old female, not as agile or as strong as I used to be. They recently remodeled my Wal-Mart. Every thing I buy, that is heavy, on a regular basis, is on the top shelf, with a 6 in plastic barrier in front of it. I have to stand there and wait for someone tall to come by to help me.
Now you know why I absolutely love this story. I love it, love it. love it. It made me laugh so hard when I read the last line about the step stool. I use a step stool every day. Thank you for brightening my day. Ginger.
Hi Rachel Rose, I have often watched the geese fly over head. And you are correct in their shifting positions. They are quite noisy when they land and take off. I had a pond at the back of my house and enjoyed watching them. They are quite messy though. Thank you for a lovely read that brought back memories. Ginger
Hi espero,
I just read your poem for the March contest. After reading your poem I'm not sure I want to compete against you. It was easy to follow. Your rhyming was spot on. The topic riveting. Ginger
HIW.D. Wilcox OMG This has got to be one of my favorite poems. I love anything horror, spooky, paranormal. You have always inspired me to do better since I first joined WDC in 2004. I always love reading your work. Ginger
Hi Dan I Am, This is beautiful and sad. I have had a lot of losses in my life, including a husband and a child. But life goes on as your poem informs us. Nicely written. Ginger
Your opening stanza brought back memories of my youth, and I smiled as I read it. The rest touched my heart, but not in a good way. My life growing up was happy. Escaping into books is my passion, but I don't read to escape my life. I have lived, loved, and experienced great sorrow in my 77 years. I didn't let the sorrow consume me. I expressed my sorrow through my writing. I assume through this piece you are doing the same. Pain is something I have also lived with, and still am. I enjoyed this read. Anything I read that brings out an emotional response in me, whether happy or sad is well worth reading. Ginger
I enjoyed reading this story very much. The detailed description of the quadruped was excellent. Since I live in Florida I come across many of these quadrupeds of similar descriptions and sizes. I only found one error in reading this story
My husband loved to play Chess and taught me how to move the pieces. I was not a very good student. After a while I refused to play against him. You have listed several good arguments in favor of it being a sport and not just a game. However, when people approach each other they say, " Would you like to play a game of chess with me", and not "a sport of chess with me". If you wish to call chess a sport, then why not checkers too. Even video games can be played against multiple players. These games can also become quite intense. Would you consider these a sport? HMMM? I will not argue for or against it being a sport or game. To me it is a test of intelligence. To plan four or five moves ahead is beyond me. I will leave that to the Generals in our military. I do however feel you presented a very factual and concise argument. Nicely done and well written. Ginger
This was a very enjoyable read. It was written in an easily understandable way, A very intriguing insight into the way a vampire thinks and feels about living so long.
Hi Naomi, Life itself is a miracle for me every day. I am 77 years old and have managed to outlive all my aunts, uncles, parents, my only sister, my husband and my son. I still have a daughter and a son, nieces, nephews, cousins. I am talking about blood family not those that have married into my family. Even with all my aches and pains, it is a blessing just to still be alive, and to be able to be creative, whether it is writing, or sewing quilts for my remaining family, on my husbands side. May God Bless You.
Hi The Lost, I am assuming this is an introduction to a story you are currently writing. If I am wrong please let me know.
The beginning drew me in, and I was anxious to read more.
Your last line however, convinced me that this was not a completed story. The rest is left untold, there is no conclusion. Protagonists are not named. Ginger
I can feel every word written in your poem. The feelings of happiness and sorrow, The birth and loss of family. the confusion afterward. The memories not only in my mind but in my heart also. Treasured memories never forgotten.
Was this for one of the limited word contests? If it was then it was great as is. However, I would love to have been able to read about his smug face turning to shades of gray as he stared down the barrel of a gun. This would make a great beginning to a short story. Ginger
Hi Igor, I just happened to come across The calm Before The Chaos. Are you sure you didn't write this about me. Are you a spy. I am an insomniac. It is currently 4:56 am. and I am still wide awake. I average about 4 hrs sleep each night, or morning. I get a bad reaction from any kind of nighttime medication, so no sleeping pills for me. Maybe I should change my name to Mary. Then I could say I was your inspiration. LOL Thanks for the great read. Ginger
Hi Naomi, I have just read 'In My Aloneness', I live alone all the time, except when friends or family visit. I go out with friends twice a week. Family I see if I am lucky, once a year, we live in different states. My husband died 12 years ago.
I have plenty of time on my hand to do all that you have mentioned. I have noticed several things that caught my eye that could use some minor improvement that are easily fixed with you just rereading it.
I am a terrible typist. I type with two fingers, and I still constantly hit the wrong keys. I can reread something ten times and still find something I did wrong. I struggle with when is a (;) is used. I would rather use a period to separate a sentence than use the wrong punctuation, even then it might be wrong. I get so frustrated with myself sometimes. I hope you are not alone to often to have to think as your story implies. Ginger
Hi Zeke, A heart knows that perfect is not really perfect. It is boring. Imperfection, is an endless experience of learning, excitement, knowledge, understanding, growth, etc. Could you even imagine how much pressure it would be to try and be perfect all the time. Impossible. Loved your ending.
Your poem touched my heart. I lost both my parents within the first five years of my marriage. So did my husband. My children grew up with no grandparents. They never knew the joy of being spoiled by them. I still miss my mom and dad. I am now 77 years old. I am lucky. My daughter calls me every day and we can talk for hours. I try to be the Mom in your poem for them my grand children and my great grandchildren. Thanks for sharing
I sometimes wish I could be visited by those I've loved and lost. In the first ten years of my marriage I lost both my parents, and my 9 year old son. Twelve years ago I lost my husband of forty years. I now live alone, hundreds of miles away from all my family. If not for my close friends and neighbors I would rarely leave my home. I grieve for the children in your story, and yet hope I they are comforted by the fact that they are never truly alone. Thanks for the great story. You always inspire me to improve my writing. Super Sleuth
Hi Zeke, After reading your poem Interloper, I sat and pondered about it.The sentiment about dandelions is one sided. Although it was well written it made me think about how different people can have mixed feelings about dandelions. If a person is obsessed with creating a perfect lawn then yes your poem is correct. I can remember the joy dandelions brought me in my youth. I once read a book of poetry Titled, Over The Garden Wall. I do not remember the author of the book or the following poem. I just looked up the author of the poem and it is
by Anonymous
"O dandelion yellow as gold,
What do you do all day?"
"I just wait here in the tall green grass
Till the children come to play."
"O dandelion yellow as gold,
What do you do all night?"
"I wait and wait till the cool dews fall
And my hair grows long and white."
"And what do you do when your hair is white
And the children come to play?"
"They take me up in their dimpled hands
And blow my hair away."
I also remember visiting my great aunt in New Jersey
And having to go out in her back yard and pick dandelions for the salad we ate for dinner. So you see, my memories of dandelions is very positive as a child.
However, as an adult I also remember digging them out of my front lawn. Thanks for the memories.
I love Fun Houses. When I was young it took an awful lot to scare me. My girlfriend would scream at the top of her lungs the whole time in there. I usually laughed my way through. You did a fantastic job keeping me entertained and the story moved along nicely. Thanks for such a great read. Ginger
Hi Lesley. I absolutely loved this story even though it was sad. Your style of writing has changed since I first started reading your work. You write different when you are emotionally involved, it's like you care so much more about your subjects, and it shows. There are also a lot less mistakes. There are several throughout this piece but nothing that hinders the story line. A extra space between two words, a forgotten comma. Simple stuff you can easily fix. This piece is way to long for me to try and find any mistakes. You will have to read it again out loud to find them. Good writing is all about the fine tuning. Eliminating unnecessary words, changing some wording.
In your last paragraph, I almost cried but I kept it in. I could feel your loss. However I think it would sound and flow better if you tweak it a little. I have made a suggestion below. Remember it is just a suggestion.
I stood up and played fetch with my foxes until I stopped shedding useless (tears. It) took a long (time. I fact) I still cry when I think of Billy.
These could be one sentence each:
I stood up and played fetch with my foxes, until I stopped shedding useless tears.
It took a long time, yet I still cry whenever I think of Billy.
I am so glad you asked me to read this, and look for mistakes. I really enjoyed this. I think it is my favorite so far.
Your friend, Ginger
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