I just wrote a review for this piece but my computer ate it, I think. If you get two, don't be surprized.
If I read this story in a horror mag, I wouldn't be too excited about it... zombies aren't really my thing. Would I think that the story was out of place in a horror magazine (thinking, 'who published THIS'?). Nope.
Good Job.
The voice you used to tell the story was different and authentic (not that I've congregated with many zombies). You can tell a lot about the maturity level of a writer by the first paragraph of the story (is it aimlessly THERE... just a random point on the map from which to begin, or is it strategically placed there to set the tone of the story?) The first paragraph put the reader in the middle of action, which I think is the best way to start a story.
The only gripe I have about the piece is that you gave too much away in the intro. I would have liked to figure out that the story was about zombies on my own. (and, I think, the average reader WOULD make that connection).
Good job on this one. Reading your work (plus your bio block) makes me more proud of the review you gave me than probably any other. Felt like I earned it.
You have a masterful grasp of your work here, and you saw the piece through to the very end. Good job. You're obviously publishable. I'm going to check out your portfolio and see if you have any fiction. This was good, but I'm sure that you could work on something that doesn't ring of "high school essay" as much as this one. I'm sure of it.
You're the type of person I'd like to have review my stories as well. Check out my short story, "1152 Robert's Cove Road" and tell me what you think.
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