A very sad tale that happens too often across America and Canada. As someone from Ottawa, Ontario Canada, I am sorry to hear of the passing of your freinds, but glad that someone went to the effort to try and give them a moving send-off. You told how it happened and when, and the impact it had on the community. But if Fairport is missing their angels, perhaps it would ease their sorrow to know how the parents and freinds are being spoken of in heaven to all those other angels. Somehow, they must know they were appreciated and loved. My sincerest condolences and best wishes to you and your freinds and family.
It must have been a wonderful time with romance, laughter and dancing. Your story was poignant and moving and full of images and ain and I can't help but envy you. At least you've had that time together. Some poeple never get a memory like that with anyone at al. You must feel lonely sometimes. But I truly envy you. And you told the story so well. Kudos and good luck.
Jumping catfish you write well! I can just imagine a bunch of "players" sitting around in a greasy spoon, having seen "The Tao Of Steve" a few times and reminiscing and bragging and razzing. And then it happens. TGhe dialogue, the scenery and the story are fascinating and believeable! A very rousing jaunt that could be just about any of us. I'm honestly impressed, and jealous as well.
A very amusing, and appropriate look at life and the barnyard as well. Some of it was quite anti-government. About whom I won't guess. But you had the tempo and the wording just perfectly. Congratulations. I'm not usuaually into poetry, but you really have a unique style. When you think of all those kids rushing out into the yard to make noise and dash about it is a little like chickens in the barnyard with someone trying to organise others.
Wow! YTou really hit the bulseye so far with your writing! You have dialogue, scenery and an impact like a slug from a twelve guage! You put the reader iight there and it's almost as iof the stench of the bodies fills my nostrils. Of course I don't know why anyone would unglove their hand and touch a body like that, but who knows why anyone does anything... Kudos!
With a simple, moving tale, with warmth, images and a slow and tranquil pace, you pu the reader thre. Who would have thought of bringing a cow into the remains of an old church and feeding ti? Who could have told a tale with such images and emotion? I can see the man lying down after all those travels and that life he'd lived. INstead of a story with a lot of action, dialogue and changes of scenery, you used one location and an economy of words and characters to tell the tale. Kudos and congratulations.
You have told a graphic tale that leaves the reader with mixed emotions. I wonder how a man can desert the Army and then sit proud in the saddle. The description of the bodies and the tale of the asault are shocking. You really put the reader at the scene of the crime. And you told it with such feeling it is almost as if you've been a victim or perhaps a perpetrator.
A fascinating story that kept it's pace and had scenery, character and dialogue. you wrote very well, and while waking up to find it was all a dream is a bit tired, it was still a believeable story. And you kept throwing in twists to the plot and background that made the characters very three dimensional. Congratulations on your first effort.
Very cool! You have an antircle that is as entertaining and empathic as it is educational. How is it you are able to do so much with a graphic-filled tribute? I think at this point in my writing, it would just be a lot of words trying to make a poiint. But you have clearly challenged us to all do better for our own benefit as well as to benefit others. You wrote aa sixty thousand word story? I don't remember Great Expectations or Homer's Odyssey being that dense.Congratulations and once more unto the breach dear freinds!
A fascinating look at how do-goders and those in favour of family values have messed up America. As someone who's college-educated parents were right at least twenty percent of the time I was at private school, I must confess it must have been at least half my fault that i barely graduated. But you seem to be confused about the difference between poeple who are against violence on tv, gun ownership etc, and those who are actualy cleaning up roadside trash, taking the bus and other things that are making a difference out there. And need I remind you that politicians have been at least responsible for letting companies dum,p toxic crap in Love canal, and not spending tax dolars on all kinds of problems? Kids do need a good education, if they want to be rap singers, burger joint managers or whatever. They need to be able to do simple math, read well and other skills. Your ranting was well written, organised and outlined well. But I can't agree with you on everything. Good luck.
You know just how to build tension with the scenery and the use of words. Dinosaur weather indeed. I assume it was someone's dog or a bearcub that terrified the narrator. You really know how to build up the reader untill he's cursing a blue streak to the narrator to get it over with one way or the other. you almost turned Nomad into a character instead of just a means of transportation. A very well-crafted tale indeed. It just makes me wonder if there actualy are any tyrannosaurs lurking out there in the mist. Kudos and good luck.
I don't think I want you mad at me. Forget Desperate Housewives. What about Anrgy Housewives who are sick of being golf widows? Your characters seem like ordinary poeple, but I do wonder if they are lacking something if they can talk about murdering their busbands but can't do something else to better or liven up their lives. Glad Clara turned out okay. don't most kids give their parents an anxious moment at leats once in their life? Your story had character, scenery, emotion and dialogue. Well done.
A very disturbing, graphic tale, filled as much with character and dialogue as it was with scenery and a very chilling tale. Your story actually put me there in the asylum, and before that on the street where the victim's body lay. I wonder how anyone could sit at a computer at home and write such a tale without having experienced it first hand.... you did sit at home and make it all up didn't you? Welll didn't you?
Well Edgar Alan Poe has a now heir and it's W.D Wilcox. A snot-sticky hand? You write with graphic detail and chilling emotion. You keep the reader pinned to his seat, unable to turn away and somehow urged on to finish the tale. I'm not looking forward to the next stormy night when there's a knock on my door.
Kudos.
You have shocked us with a short story that has a brutal opening,literally, and a tale of woe, fear and pain that ends all too soon. Was it a gang war? Was it vigilanteism? Was it a clan feud? You story provokes questions and inspires empathy from the reader. I wish the tale had more detail, but you described the character's ties to family and scenery. And That was very well done for such a short tale. Thank you and good luck.
I found your tale to be moving and thoughtful, witha vivid description of the scenery and the era, as if I was standing by the cottage in person. For you to show such empathy with the characters and to put the read there is a sign of a very good writer. I envy your talent. Have you ever been to Ireland? I've been to Scotland myself but it's been a while. Your ending was a little abrupt, so i found myself wondering if Davy made it. But it was a flowing tale of a son in a hard tiem saying good bye to someone who had toughed it out to the end. Good luck.
A fascinating story, with dialogue, images, humour and some very fascinating ideas about how to take over the world. I should just point out there are no polar bears in Antarctica. only leopard seals, penguins and a few whales eating what's left of the krill. But you had a great way of sticking it to the teachers before your character woke up. And your development of your plan through genetics and observations about the world were spot on. I think with more experience and more descriptions of scenery and characters, you will do very well indeed. Good luck and have fun. Just remember it's lonely at the top.
A fascinating spot on the Writing.com webtsite. I have received a lot of feedback on my work and before my upgraded membership expires, I hope to use everyone's advice to good use. Thanks for the e-mail. It makes life less lonely knowing there are others out there sitting at their keyboards wondering what they can do. If you need foood for thought, I pose this question.
Should we write from experience or imagination. Writing from experience might make the characters and plot more believeable and more understandable. But writing from imagination might make it more thrilling and more inspiring, knowing us average Joes could someday fly through space oraccomplish something incredible.
I emember visiting my dad's Aunt Greta in a nursing home about twelve years ago when she had Alzheimer's. It was not a pleasant experience. And you have captured the experience of an elderly family member robbed of their memmory, emotional stability and the grandson's ability to communicate and understand. You have a real gift for the way the plot has been developed and the characters and the minutia. Congratulations. I can't wait to see what else you do.
The idea behind your story is a shocking one, right out of H.G Wells and Robert Louis Stevenson. You have decribed the characters and the dialogue and scenery well, although I think the actual life-force-transfer process could have used a little more detail. But nonetheless you shocked me with your tale and no doubt others as well. Congrats and god luck. Or should I be wishing luck to morgeu-robbing life-force thieves? Well anyway, it was a fascinating tale.
A very moving poem with a unique style and tempo. The fact that the author does not mention for certain why the tears were shed sparks the reader's curiosity and requires a second look.I'm not usually into writing poetry but it's always fun to read someone's work and look at their motive and their means. did you feel satisfied that you had conveyed your message this way? What was your inspiration? Congrats and good luck on your future work.
This sounds like a helpful and educational way to learn, to improve my writing, and to give backto the writing community. Way cool man! And I can't wait to get started. But where do I find the stuff to review? I assumed there would be a list of artciles/stories for us to pick from to begin reading and then reviewing. I might help. Just a thought.
An exciting, descriptive and imaginative story. I like tales with action in them, and yours has plenty, with a little wry humor as well. You have a real gift for the kind of stuff that us guys like. Good luck.
Jumping catfish thats good writing. I used to be very into science fiction, and this story of yours has scenery, character, dialogue and an incredible tapestry. You really have a remarkable gift. Have you written a second part yet? Good luck to you and perhaps someday I'll be able to do as well.
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