Format: Contest entry last modified--11:12am on 10-31-2008 Word count--Unfortunately, your entry has 56 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content:Clever porter entices traveler to let his guard down.
Technical errors: Multiple typos in word spacing and punctuation. Posting entries in a review forum is fine, and you can edit/correct up until the deadline! Don't be afraid to ask other WDC members to help with proofreading.
Overall: Nice "local color."
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Please delay all corrections until judging is complete. Winners should be posted Sunday in "55 Words - Hall of Fame" . Thanks for entering! Join us again.
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Format: Contest entry last modified--8:55am on 10-06-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content: The colorful word choices are appropriate for the kids' pretend play. So...who was being the outlaw?
Technical errors: None noted. Thanks for your careful attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar!
Overall: Nice playtime tale.
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Format: Contest entry last modified--3:54pm on 09-29-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content: I liked the "dramatic" approach in this story. The juxtaposition of exhausted and fresh [from an emerg appendct] seemed incongruous, however.
Technical errors: None noted. Thanks for your careful attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar!
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Format: Contest entry last modified--4:35pm on 10-04-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content: Nice viewpoint shift, warm relationship between woman and dog. Complete morning scene.
Technical errors: Missing apostrophe. Mans should be man's best friend.
Overall: Nice job.
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Format: Contest entry last modified--4:35pm on 10-03-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content:Nicely worded, but lacks characterization or context for the plot. Is he her father? Husband? Has she been unfaithful, or caught sneaking out at night? Time, place? What is the plaque that is so meaningful to them both?
Technical errors: None noted. Thanks for your careful attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar!
Overall: A good start, but shows strain within the confines of the format.
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Format: Contest entry last modified--1:07am on 08-26-2008 Word count--Unfortunately, your entry has 57 words and is not eligible for a prize. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content: I liked the creepy image of the weeping widow, the bell in his hand, and him waiting for his chance to prowl again.
Technical errors: None noted. Thanks for your careful attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar!
Overall: Very nicely done...except the word count!
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Format: Contest entry last modified-- 8:48pm on 08-29-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content: The situation is intriguing, but I felt dropped into the middle of it without a lot of context. Why is it a secret, and why is Janet embarrassed? Was she flirting with him, maybe? I did like how her description changes from red hair to red face.
Technical errors: Multiple punctuation errors affected the clarity and flow. Remember that only possessives and contractions use 's, not plurals. her blue eye's sparkling-->her blue eyes sparkling For help with using commas & periods in dialogue, see Davy Kraken's very thorough explanation in "Dialogue" .
Overall: A good start to an emotional scene, but needs polishing.
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Format: Contest entry last modified--2:24pm on 08-24-2008 Word count--Your entry has 56 words, so it cannot be considered for a prize. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content: A humorous incident is shown in its retelling to a friend. I did want to know why the call was so important--especially if it could be taken in the restroom.
Technical errors: Take out the first comma in Why is it, that every time.
Overall: Concisely recounted mishap.
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Format: Contest entry last modified--12:54pm on 08-24-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content
A predator seizes his prey. I like your basic plot and how you conveyed it with natural elements, no human characters. However, several phrases and word choices seemed awkward and didn't relate well to the image: and upon their unexpected desire, Mother would be so proud, the brisk of desert nowhere, lost in translation.
Technical errors:
The first sentence should be in present tense for consistency with the rest of the story.-->The sheep herded through the dusty dunes
I also think a different word (trot? graze?) would work better than "herd."
Overall: Good first attempt.
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Format: Contest entry last modified--6:13pm on 08-24-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content:Nice metaphor structure, but the introduction of another woman complicated the image a little. Perhaps the dealer could have walked over, saying, "Want to take her for a drive?" while handing him the keys. If he really was fantasizing about the woman and not the car, that could be made clear, too. I did enjoy your vivid descriptions!
Technical errors: Sentence incorrectly punctuated. As the dealer handed him the keys <--Should be a complete sentence and have a period at the end.
Overall: A sensual description of a test drive.
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Format: Contest entry last modified--6:34pm on 08-19-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content: A common marital situation begins as a thriller. This sentence did seem awkward: The rumble growing louder and louder is no match for me; because now I can look and see its much smaller body. Perhaps "is no threat to me" could work.
Technical errors: Remove semicolon in third sentence.-->no match for me because now...etc.
Overall: I liked the satirical tone you took with this story.
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Format: Contest entry last modified--2:51am on 08-23-2008 Word count--55 words! Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content: Nice plot, clear images. I especially liked the exasperated mother who imagines some trivial reason for being summoned yet again by her child. And I'm sure she won't believe him when he tells her about the spaceship!
Technical errors: None noted. Thanks for your careful attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar!
Please delay all corrections until judging is complete. Winners should be posted Sunday in "55 Words - Hall of Fame" . Thanks for entering! Join us again.
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Format: Contest entry last modified--9:11pm on 08-18-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content: A timely tale, but I wanted to know a little more. Is she winning? Dead last, but still striving?
Technical errors: None noted. Thanks for your careful attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar!
Overall: Good job.
Please delay all corrections until judging is complete. Winners should be posted Sunday in "55 Words - Hall of Fame" . Thanks for entering! Join us again.
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Format: Contest entry last modified--12:40pm on 08-17-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content:Simple, clear plot--accident leads to coma victim. Little was shown about the character, however, even gender.
Technical errors: None noted. Thanks for your careful attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar!
Overall: Succinct description of a tragic event's long-term consequences.
Please delay all corrections until judging is complete. Winners should be posted Sunday in "55 Words - Hall of Fame" . Thanks for entering! Join us again.
I hope my comments have been helpful. For an explanation of how I rate and review, see "Invalid Item" . Please email me if you have other questions!
Please delay all corrections until judging is complete. Winners should be posted Sunday in "55 Words - Hall of Fame" . Thanks for entering! Join us again.
I hope my comments have been helpful. For an explanation of how I rate and review, see "Invalid Item" . Please email me if you have other questions!
Format: Contest entry last modified--5:09pm on 07-16-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content:You set a nice, creepy, moody tone, all to mock bagpipes! Less plot than atmosphere, but great use of description and imagery.
Technical errors: None noted. Thanks for your careful attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar!
Overall:Nice setting and satire.
Please delay all corrections until judging is complete. Winners should be posted Sunday in "55 Words - Hall of Fame" . Thanks for entering! Join us again.
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Format: Contest entry last modified--5:10pm on 07-13-2008 Word count--Your entry contains only 50 words, so unfortunately it cannot be considered for a prize. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content:I liked the excitement you conveyed at the professor's success. It would seem his challenges have just begun, however. I wonder if he willingly accepted that he wouldn't be able to return, or if he only realized that when it was too late.
Technical errors: None noted. Thanks for your careful attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar!
Overall:Sounds like a good start to an interesting story.
Please delay all corrections until judging is complete. Winners should be posted Sunday in "55 Words - Hall of Fame" . Thanks for entering! Join us again.
I hope my comments have been helpful. For an explanation of how I rate and review, see "Invalid Item" . Please email me if you have other questions!
Format: Contest entry last modified-- 5:19pm on 07-08-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content: This version of a familiar joke fills out the story with a vivid character who takes his work seriously. Plot is succinct and humorous.
Technical errors: None noted. Thanks for your careful attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar!
Please delay all corrections until judging is complete. Winners should be posted Sunday in "55 Words - Hall of Fame" . Thanks for entering! Join us again.
I hope my comments have been helpful. For an explanation of how I rate and review, see "Invalid Item" . Please email me if you have other questions!
Format: Contest entry last modified--1:05pm on 07-07-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content: This scene shows a mother's frustration with an inattentive teacher. The only part that seemed a little unclear to me was whether the teacher hadn't taught him any math at all, or if she meant she thought it was supposed to be part of his IEP (which it obviously wasn't, showing her unfamiliarity with a child she'd been teaching all year). I'm probably just overanalyzing it because I'm more familiar with the system than other readers may be. Her comment sums up the mother's reasons for pursuing homeschooling while reinforcing that decision.
Technical errors: None noted. Thanks for your careful attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar!
Overall: Nice scene of a mother's encounter with bureaucracy.
Please delay all corrections until judging is complete. Winners should be posted Sunday in "55 Words - Hall of Fame" . Thanks for entering! Join us again.
I hope my comments have been helpful. For an explanation of how I rate and review, see "Invalid Item" . Please email me if you have other questions!
Format: Contest entry last modified--10:58pm on 06-20-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content: Oh, the thrill of young love! I did want to know what happens next. Will he really seal the deal?
Technical errors: None noted. Thanks for your careful attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar!
Overall: Nice look at a boy's romantic efforts.
Please delay all corrections until judging is complete. Winners should be posted Sunday in "55 Words - Hall of Fame" . Thanks for entering! Join us again.
I hope my comments have been helpful. For an explanation of how I rate and review, see "Invalid Item" . Please email me if you have other questions!
Format: Contest entry last modified--11:06am on 06-09-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content: Interesting take on the typical high-school athlete going for glory tale. I liked the cynical twist and wondered how he was so easily bought at such a young age.
Technical errors: None noted. Thanks for your careful attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar!
Please delay all corrections until judging is complete. Winners should be posted Sunday in "55 Words - Hall of Fame" . Thanks for entering! Join us again.
I hope my comments have been helpful. For an explanation of how I rate and review, see "Invalid Item" . Please email me if you have other questions!
Format: Contest entry last modified--9:39am on 06-12-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content: How sad the loss of our childlike imaginations! We do continue to dream, though, so there's that hope. This is interesting, but the structure leads me to expect a story beyond it--what will happen tomorrow? What is she dreaming tonight?
Technical errors: None noted. Thanks for your careful attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar!
Overall: Interesting story though not quite as strong as a stand-alone plot.
Please delay all corrections until judging is complete. Winners should be posted Sunday in "55 Words - Hall of Fame" . Thanks for entering! Join us again.
I hope my comments have been helpful. For an explanation of how I rate and review, see "Invalid Item" . Please email me if you have other questions!
Format: Contest entry--6:59pm on 05-19-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. (I did count Post-It as one word since it is a trademarked, hyphen-mandatory name.) Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content: Little action, but such an overwhelming story told through details and implied events. You maximized your word count by imbuing your statements with context through word choice ('Hearts stop. Not mine.') The death of a loved one is still not quite accepted--he/she keeps sticking the note back up on the fridge as if the lost one really will 'BRB.' (And those notes do keep falling down, don't they?) I liked the sense of time indicated by the smell being gone from the pillow, and the heavy, hollow, almost poem-like structure to the phrasing.
Technical errors: None noted. Thanks for your careful attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar!
Overall: Excellent story, perfect use of the 55-word format, and emotionally compelling!
Congratulations on winning first place in Round 44!
Please delay all corrections until judging is complete. Winners should be posted Sunday in "55 Words - Hall of Fame" . Thanks for entering! Join us again.
I hope my comments have been helpful. For an explanation of how I rate and review, see "Invalid Item" . Please email me if you have other questions!
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Less plot than atmosphere, but great use of description and imagery.