This was a very nice story. It was concise, clear and with good descriptions. I thought the character development was excellent for such a short story. The only thing that I can think of to improve it would be a little better description of the government or group that was trying to use his power to make the weapon. However, I can see some value in leaving it open as well. Nicely done.
I found the story amusing and well written. I almost felt like the aliens had run across the Three Little Bears. In part, the lack of description of Berryhoney and Barrelsitter allowed me to fill in that part of the story, but I might have appreciated a little more information as to what they were.
Overall this was very cute for such a short story.
You have a very nice writing style and definitely made me care about the character. However, once she lost her stalker there really wasn't any drama or tension left in the story. Rather than glossing over the date with a "no wasn't in his vocabulary," some description of what happened would have been nice. Given your descriptive writing style I don't doubt you could have pulled it off nicely.
While concise is good, some more detail about the date would have made this a much stronger story.
While I appreciate the basic sense of what you're trying to do, the style was to monotonous to be effective. There wasn't a lot of character development, description of the environment or other elements that would flesh it out, cause us to care about your main character or feel like the reader is experiencing the events. More of those elements would help.
A very cute story. You developed the characters well and they were believable. The twist was nice and well done. The story flowed very effectively and was the perfect length.
This definitely had some amusing elements, but the first few paragraphs could have been shortened and made a bit smoother. As I was reading it, I began to think that it might be more amusing to read the story from the girl's point of view. As you married her, I'd be very interested in what she saw in you after everything that happened that caused her to give you a second chance and then ultimately marry you after everything that happened.
Ultimately, after a bit of a slow start I thought it was nice, amusing and something most people could relate to.
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