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426
426
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)

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Review of This is Not to Say

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

You have captured a concern for the other in three simple verses. Trying to be unassuming is difficult.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Use a larger font. How you display your text affects the reader's perception.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I did this review to remind you we are here and wish you a happy WDC anniversary.


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427
427
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.0)


Review of Stories, Stories, Stories

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A very simple story. I don't think the content with the killing makes it suitable for Children's stories. It needs some work to have a basis of a good story.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Two characters. A boy and his dog. There is not enough detail either in the characters or the plot.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more and use a larger font.x

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Take you story and start again adding more detail.


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428
428
Review of Wasted Paper  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)

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Review of Wasted Paper

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A good description of the feeling one has when an ex persists in running one down.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Deep feelings and anger.


FINAL THOUGHTS:

The real purpose of this review is to wish you a great WDC anniversary.


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429
429
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)

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Review of The Turkey is Done

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This poem says it all. I would hate to be on the receiving end of such a concise tirade of emotion and firmness.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

It's a good story as well as a good poem. For presentation I would increase the font and perhaps centre the lines.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

The real purpose of this review is to wish you a great WDC anniversary.


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430
430
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)

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Review of Past the Whispering Willows

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Thank you for this poem. I could hear and almost feel the horse cantering onward as I read the poem.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The repeative lines are wonderful. There is a real feeling of a horseman and his steed coming across the fields.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None

FINAL THOUGHTS:

The real purpose of this review is to wish you a great WDC anniversary. I enjoyed the poem.


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431
431
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)

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Review of The Interesting Creature

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A very short poem about a day. As time flies so does this review.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

The real purpose of this review is to take a moment to wish a great WDC anniversary.


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432
432
Review of Fallen  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)


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Review of Fallen

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A short poem about falling in love.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A good poem but the lines are a little abrupt and it does not flow well.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Heels instead of heals.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Please come back and write more on writing.com Have a happy anniversary.


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433
433
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of Poetic Inspiration Adrift

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem about some missing a love that they once had. The author has a feeling of being disconnected from an essential part of their being.

LAYOUT & RHYME:

Six verses of four line each with a rhyming pattern of A B C B.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Keep writing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Enjoyable poem I read it aloud and found it has a strong sadness in its statements.


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434
434
Review of For You People  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of For You People

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The re-occurring phrase got to be a little irritating after about twenty lines. I did notice you changed the phrase for the last line. Perhaps if you altered it part of the away through the poem it might have been more effective.


SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

As usual I find your work to cause me to think. That is important for me.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I know I don't have to ask you but Keep writing.


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435
435
Review of 13th of Friday  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)


Review of 13th of Friday

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The 13th of Friday. I think this is a poor title. Seems like is a retelling of some of the poorer scare movies recently produced.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Since the plot is thin spend more time with the development of the characters.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

You need to review the rules of capitalization. Spacing and a larger font would make this story easier to read. Look at a page in a printed book and try to make your story appear similiar.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

This is a good start.


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436
436
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of Beauty as we know it.

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A valid premise. Beauty is not everything and perhaps not be much in reality.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Use a larger font and re-read you sentences.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

instead of outer use outside
how beautiful you're should be you are (happened twice

You need to reread what you have written and you will pick up many your flaws.




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437
437
Review of Deadly Clowns  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (3.5)



Review of Deadly Clowns

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I enjoy painting and I understand the difficulty in finding just the right colour. i am not sure that this story meets the scary quality.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

This needs more work. It is a good beginning.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Larger font.




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438
438
Review of Moving on  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of Moving On

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Your writing promises the steps to moving on. I didn`t find these steps. There are a lot of thoughts and general comments but there is no laid out plan. I found it hard to read and understand what your ultimate goal in this writing.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Use a larger font and better spacing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I think you have a good start. It just needs to be more organized.


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439
439
Review of The Cry  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of The Cry

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem about the damage we are doing to the environment in which we live. It is written from the viewpoint of Mother Earth, It is a cry for help. It is a painful lament.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Mother Earth who is being damaged and the rest of us who must choose what we do to assist the environment.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep up the good work.


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440
440
Review of Bad Boys Games  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of Bad Boy Games

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A short story about a relationship that falls apart when the young man starts to cheat. More detail of the positive times would make the failure of the relationship stand out more graphically.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Two major characters, The writer and Antonio. While they are described as being in university they seem a bit immature.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

pass relationships - should be past
cousin birthday party - should be cousin's

FINAL THOUGHTS:

It needs a little work.


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441
441
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of If Only I Could Talk

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A day in the life of a dog. Tuesday it seems is not usually a good day. Perhaps more detail would be beneficial. The poem does portray the loneness and boredoom of the animal.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A dog's view of a boring day.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

More information. Express how the dog feels about being left alone.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

a good start but it does not go far enough.


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442
442
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
From Here to Eternity
443
443
Review of Burned Bottoms  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)


Review of Burned Bottoms

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

It is funny how a story like this always brings such memories to mind. I shared in the revelations of the smells of life and family. When it came to burn bottoms our family was different. There were the crys for the rolls but they were always sitting on a counter. Forgotten and never having blessed the oven.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

a well planned tale of holiday and sharing.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.


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444
444
Review of A Winters Night  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of A Winter's Night

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A series of impressions of cold and night as felt and seen by the writer.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Simple images of winter and the cold that it brings.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Expand your ideas and images.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.


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445
445
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)


Review of Old Time Thanksgiving

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A series of memories tied together in a wonderful free form poem that highlights those happening at a families thanksgiving meal and celebration.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Tying the memories together in such a way that one feels it is their own family.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I enjoyed the poem.


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446
446
Review of The Nightmare  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)


Review of The Nightmare

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A complex story with a lot of unusual and unexplained happenings. There should be an opportunity to clarify some of the character and plot.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A good general plot but it needs to strengthened. Concentrate on one phase at a time. The trip, the capture, the escape, the rescue, etc. Character need a little better description as well.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Two simple things. Use a larger font and create spacing to make story more readable. Open a novel and look to see how it is formatted and try to make your layout similar.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

This story needs work but there is a lot to work with.


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447
447
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (4.0)




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Review of The Night Before Christmas

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Is it a Christmas miracle. A little almost nativity story using characters
from the television show "The Young Riders".

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Stuck in a snowstorm Buck is trying to make it home for Christmas and takes refuge in a cave with a man named Jose and his wife who is about to deliver a baby. buck assists.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Good story. No suggestions for improvement.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Have a happy WDC anniversary.


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448
448
Review of The Last Guardian  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (4.5)




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Review of The Last Guardian

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

There seems to a battle going on from the creatures in this cave to those that are referred to giants above. The ending is creative and well told.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

It seems the giants above have resorted to poisoned food and a strange mist that kills. Chemical weapons used against this civilization.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Have a happy WDC anniversary.


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449
449
Review of The Devil Lies  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (4.0)




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Review of The Devil Lies

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This is a story about trusting. It lets us know that we have to be careful about who we trust. it also teaches us to realize that some will lie to us and they usually press us for acceptance.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

In this story the devil pressures a man to accept his protection. It is a false security. The two characters are the devil and the man making the wrong decision.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Are you still writing? Share your stories on WDC.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Have a great WDC Anniversary


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450
450
Review of A Moment Of  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)




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Review of A Moment of

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A gift of music shared in a moment and the feeling that are felt if not expressed about the sense of power it provides.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

the lone character at the keyboard creates music that captures the characters of the audience.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

i enjoyed the way you told this story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Please enjoy your WDC anniversary and keep writing.


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