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Review of The Little Lion  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)


Review of The Little Lion

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A story to read to a little girl whose pet which she calls a lion but is actually a cat. The story could use a little more work.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Part of the way through the story the King and Queen each other. I thought they were already married.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Larger Print?
Then after words afterwards

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep sharing your work with all of us.


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402
402
Review of Love  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of Love

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I've read a lot of poems about love. You were very direct in what you feel love is.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Love while a gift from god needs people in order to be something worthwhile.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None at this time.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thank you for sharing your work.


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403
403
Review of Time to Shine  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Review of Time to Shine

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Finally the day has come for the audition of a life time. A woman has this opportunity and has some fears in her mind.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Alice has watched others go for auditions and succeed and now it is her turn. Both the plot and characterization is great for flash fiction.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Keep writing and sharing with us.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Have a great WDC anniversary.


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404
404
Review of Sinful Life  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)


Review of Sinful Life

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Busy, busy yes everyone is busy. The scriptures tell us that we won't be ready because we will be busy with our lives.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Perhaps I would say this is merely a warning of the second coming.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Perhaps a larger font.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and sharing.


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405
405
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Review of XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A great poem which is composed in iambic hexameter, with a stanzaic rhyme scheme of abab. It tells a story and each verse moves the story further into a compelling plot.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The best thing I noticed was the well crafted character development of the woman dressed in black.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Write more this was good. Pleas enjoy your WDC anniversary.


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406
406
Review of Rush Week  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)



Review of Rush Week

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A good spooky and scarey story. Since the days of Edgar Allan Poe people have been writing and dealing with the horror of being buried alive. Your story taken from the person in the casket is well done.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A rush pledge buried alive with some things to help him escape. He does not find the solution.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Good story. I enjoyed it.


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407
407
Review of Police Lines  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)


Review of Police Lines

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I am finding this pieces of prose hard to grasp the meaning. What do police lines have to getting to know another.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

An interesting set of phrases but I was unable to see how they relate.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Larger font.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Give me some understanding


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408
408
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of Grandmother{ Often Taken for Granted

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

What are grandmothers? They are merely moms with much more experience. This small bit of prose expresses the author's praise for the grandmother.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The problem with grandmothers is that they age and we have them for much too short a time.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Perhaps a larger font.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Good writing. Keep it up.


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409
409
Review of It comes in waves  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)


Review of It Comes in Waves

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A short poem that details how depression seems to roll in in waves to overcome all the positive things one does. I could feel the deabilitating nature of this wave like depression.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Each positive step is overcome by a negative.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Use a larger font. Make a positive statement.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well written and right to the point. You have caught the nature of depression.


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410
410
Review of Filth  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

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Review of Filth

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Trying to break bad habits is never easy and this poem places us in the mind of a person trying to do just that. He really gives us the thinking of this person.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Try as hard as you can and pray for divine help as well.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Font could perhaps be one size greater.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

The real reason for this review is to wish you a great WDC anniversary.


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411
411
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of The Dream-catcher

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Nice poem about dream-catchers which are devices that are supposed to catch the bad dreams and thereby protect children from those dreams.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The spider webs woven into the hoop catch the evil dreams.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Keep writing and share more.


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412
412
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)


Review of Seduction in the Snow

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Your poem brought a smile and then a chuckle. I could imagine just the things you mentioned.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Two people in the nude lying in a snowdrift. I can see it now. It is quite vivid in my mind.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Next time bring a blanklet.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing. I enjoyed this poem.


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413
413
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)


Review of Death of A Thousand Cuts

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A short direct poem about loving and having it and losing it.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

More information would make it easier to completely understand.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Keep sharing your thoughts and writing.


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414
414
Review of Beyond the Door  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)

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Review of Beyond the Door

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A person entering a space and trying to describe and explain it.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The space seems very clinical to me. Like some kind of hospital.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Use a larger font.
form tth - from the
saw - see

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Please enjoy your WDC anniversary.


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415
415
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of Rose Colored Vision

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Being in love is seeing the world through rose coloured glasses. These ten lines all depict the best of romance and love.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

We appreciate your thoughts.


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416
416
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of We Believe Words Arrive

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This is a great poem about how writing occurs at some times. While sometimes we have to labour over the words to weave together to finish our writing the writer of this piece acknowledges that sometimes the words just come together.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Writing is indeed magic. I do believe that God allows that magic to flow through the minds of writers. Not something they deserve but a gift. However I believe that magic however requires all our possible efforts to make it better and correct.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Good thoughts.




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417
417
Review of Tornado  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)


Review of Tornado

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Great descriptive passage, I almost felt I was right there feeling the wind in my face. I notice you use spinning ( very appropriate) several times.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The story is the storm and how it deals with the world. Well done.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

You painted great pictures.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Write more.


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418
Review of Day 3- Tom Lehrer  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (3.5)


Review of Day 3 Tom Lehrer

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This is simply a commerical for the music of Tom Lehrer.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

It seems that Tom Lehrer is a very comedian.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Use a larger font.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

More information on this gentleman would be beneficial.


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419
419
Review of Heartburn  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)


Review of Heartburn

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Those who feel they are unlovable need to be told they love in other simple ways. I guess warning some one that the coffee is hot is one way of expressing love.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

People in love playing a game and biding their time to her the sentiment get expressed.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Perhaps a larger font.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done.


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420
420
Review of The sorrow  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)


Review of The Sorrow

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I am not sure what sorrow you are speaking about but I have experienced similiar experienced standing as a silent senintal beside a grave.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Your character is well defined. While a short piece of work I found it very moving.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Use a larger font for all the older people.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.


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421
421
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)

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Review of The Library - A Short Story

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A story about a young man who goes to the library but gets seduced to a life of drugs by a girl he meets there.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

We get a short description of what our unnamed male character but not strong enough. The description of Jen is even more limited. I guess as limited as her clothes. Her purpose in selecting this person seems to be missing from the story.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

in second paragraph quite should be quiet

Her cat was fluffy, gray and white, and softer than down.

She stood me in the middle of her room - should say Jen stood me. I wondered how the cat did that.


FINAL THOUGHTS:

I feel it is good outline but it seems incomplete. There is a big unanswered why.


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422
422
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)


Review of The Soul is a Banana

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An interesting comparison. The soul of man is compared to the banana. The soft white interior is protected the flexible outer skin. Bruising is however quite easy. I think it is a good comparison.


SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more this is an interesting thought.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done. You got me to think.


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423
423
Review of Second Sun  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

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Review of Second Sun

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

War is hell. This is the story of how the fires of hell were unleashed on the world. This was before my time and I have spent much of my life doing what I could hoping it would never happen again.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A terrible time in the history of mankind. I guess war brings out the worst in all of us.


FINAL THOUGHTS:

let us never forget these events.


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424
424
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of Truth and Military Ads

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Of course an ad is going to paint a glowing picture. who would respond to an advertisement which showed the complete truth of the grit and grime of military service. It is a dirty job. however someone has to do it and I would prefer volunteers rather than people conscripted to serve.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Having spent my time in the military I realize it is not for everyone. I had good times. I also times that still make me wake with cold sweats. I can see faces of the dead. Some were good friends.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

i guess you have to take the ads with a grain of salt.


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425
425
Review of Oh! Beautiful  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)

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Review of Oh Beautiful

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem of unreturned love. Four simple four line verses that cry out with hope for love from the reader.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The writer is hoping for something to happen in his favour.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

write more. It has been a while since you posted

FINAL THOUGHTS:

The main reason for this review is to wish you a great WDC anniversary.


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