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451
451
Review of Cold Torture  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)




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Review of Cold Torture

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A woman scorned is nothing to laugh about. Francine's husband has been cheating on her. She cuts herself with a knife and orange juice gets into the wound. She suffers terrible pain because of this. she decides what to do.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Francine is the only strong character and her feeling and expressions to being cheated on by her husband with her best friend Kelly. Good definiton of her pain and her resolve to do something about it.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

We never find out what happens to Kelly.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Have a Happy WDC anniversary.


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452
452
Review of The Domino Effect  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)




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Review of The Domino Effect

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A well written multi-tiered story of deceit and murder in a law office.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Gina Norris catches seventy-year old lawyer Larry Dunder kissing Fern Stanton. she tells her friend Angela Banks that she took pictures and is going to blackmail Larry. There is a great double twist in the story that makes it worth reading.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

My only suggestion is that you have a wonderful WDC anniversary.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.


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453
453
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)



Review of Random Thoughts Gleaned Walking My Dogs

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I thought this poem might just be reflections of thought but was surprised the thought come from the actions of the dogs that are being walked. Each thought makes sense and the simple wisdom is well applied to man.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Dogs and man are very similar it seems. I enjoyed the thoughts behind the poem.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I am glad you were able to gets your thoughts into a book.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well Done.


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454
454
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)



Review of Not According to Plan

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A great story poem about a girl who is expected to marry a certain guy. Someone else comes into her life and she chooses him surprising friends and family.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

things change and often they change for the better. This is a great story told in poetic form.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions for improvement.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

A very enjoyable story.


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455
455
Review of I Make No Apology  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)



Review of I Make No Apology

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I just wondered what I did for you to express your wrath so deeply and with so much anger and emotion.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The next time I want to ream someone a new asshole I will pull out this poem to use as my starter.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Tell me what caused you to get to this point.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thoughts that I often would like to express.


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456
456
Review of The Body Double  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of The Body Double

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A flash fiction story where a rich man has been diagnosed with liver cancer. He has a clone prepared for him to take over. I presume they will move his memories and thoughts to the clone.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Bill, the doctor and the clone. The actual happening are a little confusing. I think the clone develops liver cancer and bill in frustration shoots himself. I could be wrong.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.


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457
457
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Have You Seen the Light

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

He states he lived in darkness and depression but saw the light and she made changes in his life. However he left the light and now suffers because he was blind.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

He and she who is the light. A sort of metaphor for light and love.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

keep writing. This was good.


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458
458
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)



Review of Beautifully Scarred

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Good synopsis of a longer story. It leaves room to develop both characters and plot.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

They seem unlikely partners at this point. You might need to cement a relationship before trying to involve Amira in BDSM activities.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Larger font with spacing between paragraphs makes your work standout.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

write the rest


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459
459
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)



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Review of Father Lie & Pregnant Sin Visit Camelot

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The tale of the infidelity of Guinevere with the fabled knight Sir Lancelot has been the material for much writing. This is a review on one such writing of the story. This would not just be infidelity of course it would also be considered treason.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

This review includes not only the main characters but introduces many of the other knight involved in the story.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Please enjoy your WDC anniversary.



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460
460
Review of My Bestest Friend  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)



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Review of My Bestest Friend

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A good poem about a lifelong relationship. Existing through high school and the years after as each started a family. But people do seem to drift apart. I am glad you could find each other again.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Friendship is a great tie. One of the strongest bonds that exist.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Please enjoy your WDC anniversary.



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461
461
Review of My forever love  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)



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Review of <y forever Love

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

you are a lucky man to have had the benefit of that lady for even that short period. What benefit to have the memories of those year, months, days, hours and even minutes you had together. You were blessed. Thank you for sharing your blessing.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Clear facts and the introduction to one who seems to be a wonderful person.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more of the memories you shared. you will find it hard but it will help.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Write more and please enjoy your WDC anniversary.



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462
462
Review of Space Blunder  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)



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Review of Space Blunder

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A blunder in outer space. However we may think of it space is on our new frontier. This seems like just another little thing gone wrong. This type of situation happens today as scientists and government agents try to find the cheapest and easiest way to conduct experiments. This futuristic short story may not be far from the truth.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Futuristic character and plot. They are not far away from current.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

keep writing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Please enjoy your WDC anniversary.



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463
463
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)



Review of Listen to the Silence

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Silence is golden and it can be very load. It can be scary and also comforting.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

I found this to be a great poem and have read it over and over because of the great message that it shares with readers.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Great poem. I seldom reward a five.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and sharing.


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464
464
Review of Scarecrow Life  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of Scarecrow Life

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Short and simple poem about the need for a scarecrow in harvest time.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Straight forward poem and eight lines of rhyming couplets.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

keep writing.


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465
465
Review of Idol Venery  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of Idol Venery

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Of course the problem with idol worship is that it is definitely a one way situation. One loves the idol but there is rule saying the idol needs to love back.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A simple message that is easily communicated.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

A different font and spacing might help to highlight your piece.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep sharing.


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466
466
Review of The Elevator  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)



Review of The Elevator

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I guess that is certainly how a good day can go bad. Woman plans to have time for a little daliance with a lover who lives in her building. She does not get the right signal but goes to investigate and ends up dying.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Our unnamed woman and her two killers are the only physical characters. James her lover who we actually never meet has probably succumbed to the same fate.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

This is good flash fiction. Enough detail to be interesting but cluttered with facts.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep up the good work.


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467
467
Review of Birth Cry  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Birth Cry

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Twelve short lines of free form poetry which speaks out about the beginning of life.

FLOW:

Because the lines are so short the thoughts often carry forward from one line to the next. The writer sees life coming from the person the poem is directed to.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I enjoyed the poem.


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468
468
Review of KITTY VS DOG  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.0)



Review of Kitty vs Dog

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I am not sure what is happening here. I don't know what a napping house is. There seems to be a confrontation between the cat and dog.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

This story definitely needs a plot and character development.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Please rework this story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep trying.


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469
469
Review of Cut It Out  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)



Review of Cut it Out

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I have read a lot of your poetry. I was of the understanding that you had cut it out long ago. I don't really mean that. Your poetry is always challenging. The thought of cutting a brain out with a spoon makes this almost a horror selection. You have a great sense of humour.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I know you will follow my advise. Keep writing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done.


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470
470
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)



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Review of Surviving the Storms of Life

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I enjoyed your little commentary on Peter walking on the water. We must remember that to begin with Peter had the faith to get out of the boat. So our needs in this case is to have faith, look toward our reason for faith and finally accept his hand in times of need.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A very poignant story from scriptures.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Keep reading writing and sharing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Have a great WDC anniversary.


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471
471
Review of PRIMUS PILUS  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)



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Review of Primus Pilus

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I enjoyed your explanation of the difference between commissioned and non-commissioned officers. My thoughts are the commissioned officers provide a direction for the task but the non-com makes sure the job gets done.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The military cannot do with out the non-com. They are responsible to train, to plan and to lead in almost every instance.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I enjoyed reading your article. CPO1 (Master Chief) David Lameck


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472
472
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of In a Room Full of Emptiness

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This emptiness can be physical, emotional or even psychlogical. As usual with your writing there is an inner deepness that I have difficulty completely understanding. The cell like quality of the dimensions is powerful for me.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Dealing with that four by four space can be frightening.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.


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473
473
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (4.0)



Review of The Blushing Bride - part two

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Kaitlyn heads up the aisle with cum dripping from her. The entire portion deals with the problems that she has with her vagina leaking the cream from the previous story.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Can she stop the cum from showing on the carpet? This portion of the story while interesting is not as good as the first part.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
3rd paragraph - about should be amount.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Will there be a part three?


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474
474
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (4.0)



Review of The Blushing Bride - Part one

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Bride waiting to be married is confronted with allegations of financial wrong doing by the groom. she is blackmailed into having sex in her wedding dress. This is not a new scenario.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Kaitlyn Lamb about to be married is blackmailed and bends over and is taken from behind while wearing her wedding dress. The man takes her panties as a souvenir of the coupling. Kaitlyn supposedly is a virgin at this time. The description of the sexual activity is well done and seem reasonable. She is worried that she might get pregnant from this encounter. She is forced to go down the aisle with the man's seamen dripping down from her freshly used vagina.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None it is well written.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I will also review the second part.


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475
475
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of The Dragonfly and the Ladybug

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A child's story about two insects. One is watching out for the other. I presume this is a good message for a story.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The ladybug twice saves the sleepy dragon-fly from danger.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Will make a good children's book

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep up the good work.


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