I assume this is to be continued. If so, you might want to say, "to be continued" Quite good for a start. It is my own liking, but I like to see more breakup of the sentences. Good luck. dean
That was interesting. In the third sentence, the first word should be capitalized and the word 'form' should be 'from' the king bed should be 'king-size' These are small errors easy to fix. Keep writing. dean
that was a nice story of animals. I love dogs too, along with cats. I saw a few punctuation errors, easy to fix, like; Dot's, we'll, it's. I'm new at writing so I'm no expert. Keep on writing. dean
very, very good. I enjoyed it and you used good and meaningful words, adjectives etc. Nice wiriting and I agree with you on your thoughts of women. dean
Good story! I usually don't care for murder stories but you did a good job. Your grammer seems correct and sentences are well structured and interesting. I was a little confused in some places... i may have to read it a second time. I think you researced it well too. dean
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