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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/forgeaus
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185 Public Reviews Given
228 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by Forge Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Review by Forge


*Question* Item Type/Desc:


Poem - Acrostic

*Reading* Content and Impressions:

I'm not so into some acrostics, this starts off feeling like that kind where you say one word per letter and explain why you used it in the rest of the line... but it recovers from that form quickly and is an interesting poem to read...

*Thumbsup* Favourite Things:

Not much to put here, I realize acrostics can be difficult to write...

I did like the punctuation you used, it was creative and appropriate.

*Thumbsdown* Least Favourite things:

Not much here... personally wasn't too fond of it, but there doesn't appear to be anything wrong here...

*Exclaim* In Conclusion:

Interesting poem...

Feel free to reply back, or visit my folder athttp://www.writing.com/authors/forgeaus
2
2
Review of The human folly  Open in new Window.
Review by Forge Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review by Forge


*Question* Item Type/Desc:


Poem - Rhyming/philosophical

*Reading* Content and Impressions:

I like this one the message is nice and the rhymes don't get in the way of it...

*Thumbsup* Favourite Things:

*Love* the rhymes, if only I could rhyme like that...
Soul and control is an interesting one...

Great use of punctuation, no obvious spelling/gramatical issues that I noticed...

*Thumbsdown* Least Favourite things:

Nothing to put here! (that's gotta be a good thing, right?)

*Exclaim* In Conclusion:

Glad I read it, I like the way you write...

Feel free to reply back, or visit my folder athttp://www.writing.com/authors/forgeaus
3
3
Review of Storm  Open in new Window.
Review by Forge Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review by Forge


*Question* Item Type/Desc:


Lyrics

*Reading* Content and Impressions:

I like this, its simple and effective... plus theres some nice rhymes...

I think I like this better than skindeep.

*Thumbsup* Favourite Things:

The message here is great for a song, its sad, but fitting, the way it reveals things is also interesting...

*Thumbsdown* Least Favourite things:

Again its listed as a poem where its really lyrics.

*Exclaim* In Conclusion:

Something I'd like to hear to music once again... diffuclt to get a sense of the "tune" when you read a song.

Its possibly a little too short for a song tho.., I guess...

Feel free to reply back, or visit my folder athttp://www.writing.com/authors/forgeaus
4
4
Review of Skindeep  Open in new Window.
Review by Forge Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review by Forge


*Question* Item Type/Desc:


Lyrics

*Reading* Content and Impressions:

Nice words... wish I could hear them to music!

*Thumbsup* Favourite Things:

The rhymes.. wonderful rhymes! I'm a huge rhyme fan!

I love the message here too... it's awesome, theres a kind of naievity factor, but still it is very clear.

*Thumbsdown* Least Favourite things:

That you called it poetry, although its also poetic it looks more intended to be lyrical so if I were you I'd switch the category. (especially on here you may get people reviewing it as poetry and telling you there's stuff wrong with it that really isn't wrong.)

No glaring spelling/grammar/punctuation issues... although the big central verse COULD do with some splitting up maybe into 2 verses... also in the same one the punctuation was pretty sparce but I'm not sure that matters for lyrics


*Exclaim* In Conclusion:

Awesome song... I like it...
sofar

Feel free to reply back, or visit my folder athttp://www.writing.com/authors/forgeaus
5
5
Review of lamplight  Open in new Window.
Review by Forge Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Review by Forge


*Question* Item Type/Desc:


Wordsearch - romance

*Reading* Content and Impressions:

Its an odd view of romance

*Thumbsup* Favourite Things:

That you had a nice poem to begin it, and how that makes the words in the list consistant

Some of the words chosen like joy, loving, bright and eyes

*Thumbsdown* Least Favourite things:

You really need to replace the word greates (a misspelling of greatest I assume, which you seem to have also added...)

That the words from the poem seemed an odd choice for highlighting romance, like known, bring, around...

*Exclaim* In Conclusion:

Its ok but I didn't really find the wordsearch itself very romantic, I'm sure theres a better list of more romantic words you could have chosen...

Feel free to reply back, or visit my folder athttp://www.writing.com/authors/forgeaus
6
6
Review by Forge Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review by Forge


*Question* Item Type/Desc:


Poem - rhyming

*Reading* Content and Impressions:

Great message, a real sense of journey here, I guess it should not be so suprising since many of us know the story already...

*Thumbsup* Favourite Things:

The simple rhyme scheme (I'm a sucker for rhymes)

*Thumbsdown* Least Favourite things:

No stanza's just one big long block... I think you could break it up much "nicer"... :)

The Lack of punctuation

*Exclaim* In Conclusion:

Nice poem, I actually think it deserves a good rating, despite the lopsidedness of the rest of my review sofar... good work!

Feel free to reply back, or visit my folder athttp://www.writing.com/authors/forgeaus
7
7
Review of Four Seasons  Open in new Window.
Review by Forge Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review by Forge


*Question* Item Type/Desc:


Poem - seasons

*Reading* Content and Impressions:

Nice appropriate message here...

*Thumbsup* Favourite Things:

The line:
Buds and plants begin to sprout and life begins anew

*Thumbsdown* Least Favourite things:

My fav is Autumn :) lol

*Exclaim* In Conclusion:

Nice peice! simple in concept... glad I "chanced" across it lol!

Feel free to reply back, or visit my folder athttp://www.writing.com/authors/forgeaus
8
8
Review by Forge Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review by Forge


*Question* Item Type/Desc:


Poem

*Reading* Content and Impressions:

I like this one, not that its intended to be likeable so much, being about depression, etc...

*Thumbsup* Favourite Things:

The introduction is not just strong but a great line:
Just because I smile, Don't assume that I'm happy,

good punctuation, use of whitespace, and interesting choice of form to add the repeated line

*Thumbsdown* Least Favourite things:

Nothing much to put here

*Exclaim* In Conclusion:

Nice peice!

Feel free to reply back, or visit my folder athttp://www.writing.com/authors/forgeaus
9
9
Review of Sunset  Open in new Window.
Review by Forge Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review by Forge


*Question* Item Type/Desc:


Poem - imagery?

*Reading* Content and Impressions:

Wonderful poem, its so full of magic... but practical magic... all capturing the wonder of nature...

*Thumbsup* Favourite Things:

The use of whitespace, it could be presented in so many ways but this makes it easy to read... it also gives the illusion the peice is bigger than it realy is, but it is big on the one thing thats most important... heart.

*Thumbsdown* Least Favourite things:

The lack of punctuation.
Nothing else to put here really.
Perhaps you could split it into a second stanza (or perhaps 3 although 3 might be too many...)

*Exclaim* In Conclusion:

One Special poem that I'm glad I had the opportunity to read...
in fact the only reason I didn't rate it as a 5 was because (although I aren't sure in what way) I FEEL that it can be improved... but there's definitely nothing I consider wrong with it in general.

Feel free to reply back, or visit my folder athttp://www.writing.com/authors/forgeaus
10
10
Review of Anywhere But Here  Open in new Window.
Review by Forge Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review by Forge


*Question* Item Type/Desc:


*Reading* Content and Impressions:

Simple, honest yet deep.... touching... wonderful.

*Thumbsup* Favourite Things:

Its not quite alliteration on the first line but the way you chunked it was nice... and the rhymes I really like! alot...

*Thumbsdown* Least Favourite things:

the excess of periods where an ellipse (only 3 dots) ... would have done better, because the extra ones draw my attention when they shouldn't, also consistancy with the question marks I'd suggest removing the space after the l in feel and here on the end, but they're only minor edits nothing that changes my opinion of the peice

*Exclaim* In Conclusion:

Great peice... its so much better than your other stuff sofar...

Feel free to reply back, or visit my folder athttp://www.writing.com/authors/forgeaus
11
11
Review by Forge Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Review by Forge


*Question* Item Type/Desc:


Poem - freeverse

*Reading* Content and Impressions:

This is great the way you show your feelings here, I doubt I'd be able to write like that, so congrats in that sense.

*Thumbsup* Favourite Things:

The line:
You’re my last thought of every day, I’m no longer afraid you’ll go away.

Being a rhyme fan this appeals to me but also the message here, comfortable, growing used to, very fitting and easy. And nice, I like the niceness of this whole peice...

*Thumbsdown* Least Favourite things:

I couldn't find much structure in this but that's ok a poem doesn't necessarily need structure in order to be a poem

I'm also not into the religious stuff like referencing prayer and lord but that's your faith, so it doesn't matter what I think of it...

*Exclaim* In Conclusion:

Nice poem, it really shows how much you care

Feel free to reply back, or visit my folder athttp://www.writing.com/authors/forgeaus
12
12
Review of True Love  Open in new Window.
Review by Forge Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review by Forge


*Question* Item Type/Desc:


Poem - structured

*Reading* Content and Impressions:

Content wise it is sensical, and it draws you into this magical world. I like it!

*Thumbsup* Favourite Things:

The structure here is good, separating thoughts in that way

*Thumbsdown* Least Favourite things:

There's almost a lack of punctuation other than the periods used to separate columns

*Exclaim* In Conclusion:

Great peice, suprisingly more nice than I expected...

Feel free to reply back, or visit my folder athttp://www.writing.com/authors/forgeaus
13
13
Review by Forge Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Brilliant peice! The nightmare made all for yourself... How insidious??? How inescapable it appears to be??? in this nightmare... sadly the self is trapped...
14
14
Review of My last breath  Open in new Window.
Review by Forge Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review by Forge


*Question* Item Type/Desc:

Poem - Cinquaino

*Reading* Content and Impressions:
Great, I tend to love all things cinquain, (well this is mostly a variant but still nice)

*Thumbsup* Favourite Things:
The theme, definitely :) big thing!

*Thumbsdown* Least Favourite things:
Although it was complete for the form it was in... I had the feeling it was missing something... can't quite put my finger on what/why tho....

*Exclaim* In Conclusion:
Cute, and enjoyable

Feel free to reply back, or visit my folder athttp://www.writing.com/authors/forgeaus
15
15
Review of Season Tickets  Open in new Window.
Review by Forge Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review by Forge


*Question* Item Type/Desc:

Raffle

*Reading* Content and Impressions:
Amazing, I love how the site uses cNotes for Tickets!

*Thumbsup* Favourite Things:
The design, the whole raffle itself and the tickets!

*Thumbsdown* Least Favourite things:
Definitely can't think of one!

*Exclaim* In Conclusion:
Brilliant!

Feel free to reply back, or visit my folder athttp://www.writing.com/authors/forgeaus
16
16
Review of Blight white  Open in new Window.
Review by Forge Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review by Forge


*Question* Item Type/Desc:

Poem - with form!

*Reading* Content and Impressions:
Of course such a name suggests many polar opposites, or at least extreme allusions (as in light and dark good and bad, etc.)...

*Thumbsup* Favourite Things:
The stark way you ended each stanza, cute and striking.
The consistency of using Bright White in conjunction with the above to give it form...
The line:
Blinding with its darkness

*Thumbsdown* Least Favourite things:
The very fact it looks at White pessimistically... but then that was intrinsic to this peice...

*Exclaim* In Conclusion:
Nice poem, but I have a different view of white...

Feel free to reply back, or visit my folder athttp://www.writing.com/authors/forgeaus
17
17
Review of November  Open in new Window.
Review by Forge Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review by Forge


*Question* Item Type/Desc:

Poem - Seasonal

*Reading* Content and Impressions:
Well its kind of topsy turvy reading that as an Australian... The seasons here are in comparison opposite...

*Thumbsup* Favourite Things:
Nice rhymes, good theme, good punctuation, simple and effective...

*Thumbsdown* Least Favourite things:
Perhaps a little short? That's not a major one, just wondering if your following a format to keep them in the collection, or if its just meant to be short... I just had a feeling this COULD be bigger (but doesn't HAVE to be)

*Exclaim* In Conclusion:
Nice poem

Feel free to reply back, or visit my folder athttp://www.writing.com/authors/forgeaus
18
18
Review of Adversity  Open in new Window.
Review by Forge Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Review by Forge


*Question* Item Type/Desc:

Poem - Lune Form

*Reading* Content and Impressions:
Wow! I hadn't heard of this form before but I think you did an excellent job of it, quite interesting...
I also like the message, very sad...

*Thumbsup* Favourite Things:
The form and simple, but effective presentation

*Thumbsdown* Least Favourite things:
I almost couldn't find one! But I did eventually notice there seems to be a lack of punctuation...

*Exclaim* In Conclusion:
Nice Poem!

Feel free to reply back, or visit my folder athttp://www.writing.com/authors/forgeaus
19
19
Review of Blue eyed boy  Open in new Window.
Review by Forge Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review by Forge


*Question* Item Type/Desc:

Poem

*Reading* Content and Impressions:
Sometimes we need a hero...

*Thumbsup* Favourite Things:
Its sweet...

*Thumbsdown* Least Favourite things:
Nothing much here, no major problems or flaws

*Exclaim* In Conclusion:
Interesting poem...

Feel free to reply back, or visit my folder athttp://www.writing.com/authors/forgeaus
20
20
Review of Fuzzygrams!  Open in new Window.
Review by Forge Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review by Forge


*Question* Item Type/Desc:

Folder - cNotes

*Reading* Content and Impressions:
Wow these are great :)

*Thumbsup* Favourite Things:
The fuzziness...

*Thumbsdown* Least Favourite things:
You don't have any that are for... "no reason at all" (tm)*

*Exclaim* In Conclusion:
Great cNotes, easy to find and nice to look at!

*Note: kidding with the tm bit of course

Feel free to reply back, or visit my folder athttp://www.writing.com/authors/forgeaus
21
21
Review by Forge Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Review by Forge


*Question* Item Type/Desc:

Story

*Reading* Content and Impressions:
I'm not sure why it was you sent this for me to review, I didn't scour it with a fine tooth comb, nor did I even find myself all that interested to be completely blunt... but thats not so much a reflection on the writing.

It seems to have been relatively well written with no obvious errors, It focused appropriately on the characters, again I'm not sure why I was asked to review this exactly... I also did not notice any inconsistencies.

*Thumbsup* Favourite Things:
The parallels of the two characters, it gives the story balance.

*Thumbsdown* Least Favourite things:
There was nothing in it that I really enjoyed, it just wasn't my style, nothing particularly fantastic happened (which wouldn't exactly fit this style of story anyhow...)

*Exclaim* In Conclusion:
As far as stories go its probably better than I can appreciate!...

Feel free to reply back, or visit my folder athttp://www.writing.com/authors/forgeaus
22
22
Review of The Poets' Dance  Open in new Window.
Review by Forge Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review by Forge


*Question* Item Type/Desc:

Poem - Rhyming

*Reading* Content and Impressions:
Awesome poem, great-sounding rhymes... what more could I ask for... this is one of my favourites!

*Thumbsup* Favourite Things:
Bright, and Easy, even playful to Read (due to the rhythm mostly)... I like this alot... has an element of romance even...

*Thumbsdown* Least Favourite things:
This one I couldn't find any for, even when I was trying to!

*Exclaim* In Conclusion:
Well done! Glad I stumbled across your port after noticing you in chat...

Feel free to reply back, or visit my folder athttp://www.writing.com/authors/forgeaus
23
23
Review by Forge Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Review by Forge

*Star**Star* Forge-A-Recipe Edition *Star**Star*

*Question* Prompt Used:

To make a president cry

*Reading* Content and Impressions:
An interesting recipe, you used all the ingredients appropriately in the method, and I'm sure there was more than simply a sprinkle of humour in there...

*Dollar* Ingredient/Equipment List
Being from Australia much of the namedropping here was lost on me... (Except Michael J Fox)

*Paste* Method
Referring to ingredients as "the first two" is a quite iffy...
recipes might be edited or changed when rewritten or modified, so the first two might not be the intention if the recipe gets more ingredients added to (although as to who would add to the top of the list rather than the bottom I have no idea... still stranger things have happened)

*Thumbsup* Favourite Things:
(*Note: Foley may cause an allergic reaction in some people, and may be omitted.)
What more can I say?

*Thumbsdown* Least Favourite things:
One of the things important things about this competition was Creativity and I didn't put this prompt in for political purposes, the idea here I was looking for someone who perhaps made some contraption that forced Chili Peppers in his mouth, or kidnapped his favourite pet... That kind of thing...
Although I realize that there had to be some reading between the lines to
reach this conclusion, so I tried not to judge you too harshly on that point.
That all being said, I guess its hard to overcome the general programming towards rationality we all suffer... :)

*Exclaim* In Conclusion:
Not the kind of thing I was hoping for... but presented nicely and

Note: I did intend to keep these recipes private but I'm so used to making reviews public lately.. and since the contest is almost complete I guess its not that big a deal...

--

Feel free to reply back, or visit my folder at http://www.writing.com/authors/forgeaus
24
24
Review of passion  Open in new Window.
Review by Forge Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Review by Forge


*Question* Item Type/Desc:

Poem - Rhyming

*Reading* Content and Impressions:
Nice! I like this, the message is clear... you use the elipsis (...) punctuation much like I do!...

*Thumbsup* Favourite Things:
The Rhymes here!... of course :) being the rhyme fan I am...
and much else... it's a good poem really (actually I'm just trying to fill out stuff in here to balance out the review because otherwise it makes the least favourite stuff look more important than it really should be... rofl!)

*Thumbsdown* Least Favourite things:
There was nice punctuation but some capital letters to begin lines or even just sentences would have been nicer, the full stop after it is in the first stanza seemed wrong...

*Exclaim* In Conclusion:
Nice poem!... Love may be forever... but situations don't always last...

Feel free to reply back, or visit my folder athttp://www.writing.com/authors/forgeaus
25
25
Review of Say No More  Open in new Window.
Review by Forge Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review by Forge


*Question* Item Type/Desc:

Poem - Rhyming

*Reading* Content and Impressions:
I like this!... it's message is highly enjoyable...

*Thumbsup* Favourite Things:
The fun of reading it!

*Thumbsdown* Least Favourite things:
The awkwardness of the lines... it was fun but the rhythm was well off or the rhymes were mismatched or something, with the right end sound but the wrong start sound?
unless it was intended to be off, something that might help is if you check through the syllable count per line, and match them closer...
Danger and Anger didn't seem to rhyme nor did Language with Anguish

*Exclaim* In Conclusion:
Possibly intentionally bad in places but it all added up to something fun to read!.. if you can get over the rhythm issues...

Feel free to reply back, or visit my folder athttp://www.writing.com/authors/forgeaus
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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/forgeaus