Dragon,
This is just my opinion of the writing.
This is a good start. The story line is good about uncovering the black sheep.
There is quite a bit of tags missing in the dialogue. I have gone through the story line by line, see my comments in parentheses. I, as a reader, would like to be able to see, by showing, more emotion and action in this story. I don't know if the characters are just in space and starring blankly at each other, or if they are in a place with emotion. The story seemed short to find the criminal. If the answer is in the newspaper about the break in at the shop did Alex or George question the shop owner? Did they get the police report? Lots of unanswered questions.
Keep writing.
Gemyny
Finding the Black Sheep (I like the title)
“Good Morning Alex!” greeted Mr. George, while he was entering his new office. (This is a passive sentence - think about revising. Think about describing Mr. George and the new office.)
“Good morning sir. Here’s your tea” said Alex. (There should be a coma after tea and before ". When you read a book look at how they tag the dialogue that should be helpful or you can go on line and search the internet on how to tag dialogue.)
“Thank you Alex. I bought you a kit that will be useful for the job you and I will be doing. Here, take it.” (Who's talking here. I think it is Mr. George, but not sure. It is very useful for the read if you tag your dialogue, not all dialogue needs a tag but most do. Again look at just dialogue in books and see how much is tagged and how much is not)
George worked as a cop in New York. He was a renowned personality, for his intelligence and for his humor. When George retired and formed a private detective agency, Alex, a teen came to work with him as an assistant. (Most of this is telling. You are telling me he worked as a cop, you are telling me he was renowned for his intelligence and humor. Readers want to be shown that he was a cop. Put these sentences as active not passive)
Both were having a conversation till a woman opened the door and came in. She was fat and seemed as a middle aged lady who wore a pink dress, and had spectacles. She was looking very worried. (Once again you are telling me she was fat, show me she was fat. Did she waddle? Did she breathe hard from walking into the office? Maybe you could say she looked down from her spectacles at them - instead of telling me she had glasses)
“Good Morning Mam. May I help you?” asked George. (Good. Is it George or Mr. George? Consistency is the key to writing your characters names, so the reader will not get confused and think there are two characters instead of one)
“Good Morning Sir. I am Clara from the royal family and need your help urgently. This is about a theft.” (Good. This needs no tag since she say's her name in the dialogue)
“Okay but what was stolen?” (Who's talking here is it George or Alex?)
“A two million dollar jewel” (Emotion. Was Clara crying? Was she angry?)
George and Alex looked each other confused. (Sentence is confusing - maybe Confused George and Alex made eye contact - maybe revise this sentence)
“Give your address Mam and we will take a look” (Who's talking here is it George or Alex?)
“Sure.” (I'm guessing this is Clara. Emotion or are the characters just standing staring at each other? What are they doing? Is Alex or George getting a pen and paper for Clara to write her address on)
The lady took leave, giving the necessary information asked by George. (Good sentence)
“Sir, why did a woman from a royal family come to us, that too after a two million diamond theft?” (Who's talking? The sentence doesn't read well. Maybe take out 'that too after' and put in 'for' Revise sentence)
“We will get those answers from this address, where the diamond was stolen.” (Who's talking? What are they doing are they just standing in space and talking. Is George touching his chin or is Alex reading the address?)
George and Alex go to the address told by the woman. It was a small house, not as expected by George. Alex rang the bell. Clara opened the door and greeted them. (What did the house look like? Was Alex nervous? Was Clara nervous?)
“Thank you sir for coming.” (Good, I know Clara is talking but what is she doing? Does she invite them in? Offer them tea?)
“No problem Mam. That’s my work.” (Who's talking)
George and Alex enter their house. The maid gave them tea and welcomed them. George requests to see the place from where the diamond was stolen. Clara takes them to the room, and then to a safe. She opens the safe. Alex quickly opens the kit, and examines the lock. (Passive - from where - telling me show me where the diamond was stolen. What did the safe look like? Was it in the same area that they are at standing no where. Description please)
“The lock is alright sir. No one has broken it.” (Who's talking?)
“So someone has opened the safe with the keys.” (Who's talking?)
Clara quickly says the maid to come tomorrow. The maid takes leave. (Should that be sends the maid to come tomorrow? Sentence doesn't read well)
“Mrs. Clara, do you doubt somebody, who may have stolen the diamond?” (Who's talking? Two questions?)
“Yes sir, my maid. She had many quarrels with me to increase her salary. May be to have money, she stole the diamond.” (Maybe is one word. Emotion. Action.)
“Okay then, we should have a visit with her then. Okay Mam, when was the diamond stolen?” (Who's talking)
“Yesterday’s night” (Emotion. Action. Maybe revise to say Yesterday night)
“Okay Mam, Thanks.” (Who's talking, Emotion, Action)
George and Alex leave their house. (How did they leave the house. Emotion. Action)
“Sir, this woman, Clara, said that she was from a royal family, but own this house, which seems old and small.” (Consider revising this sentence. Does not read well)
“Yes. This is a point to be noted. We must find the black sheep.” (Is this George talking? Emotion. Action)
The next day, George again visits Clara. Clara opens the door, but something shocked her. (Emotion. Action. How do we know she is shocked? Show the reader.)
“Mr. George, why did you bring these cops with you, and then the maid? Did find the thief?” (I see there are three questions here not two. Consider revising. Emotion. Action)
“Oh yes, Mrs. Clara. I have found the thief, and the diamond. Here is your diamond. But before telling you the truth, I must say something to you.” (Who's talking? And why didn't George take Alex with him?)
“Sure Mr. George, continue.” (Emotion. Action. Was Clara angry?)
“First point. You said that you were from a royal family. But you own this small house?” (Emotion, Action)
“That sir, its …….. ah ………… yes, my mother’s house. I have sentiments for …..this house. So I live here.” (So I see she is stammering through the sentence, but what are her emotions, and what is she doing. Twisting her hands? Covering her mouth? What do you do when you are nervous?
“Okay. Second point. Alex checked your safe’s key. There was no chance that it had been duplicated. So, someone stole it from you. One more thing, yesterday, when I was here, you said me that it was stolen yesterday night. How do you know that it was stolen at that time?” (Good. ,'you said to me' Revise.)
“That…..ah…….I just checked the safe at that time.” (Emotion)
“Can you tell me the time when you checked it?” (Who's talking George or the cops?)
“That day, at about 10 pm, before I slept” (Day or night? If it is 10 pm should that be That night)
“But your maid said that at that time you visited her house and slept there.” (But - coma your maid. Who's talking and action. Was he flipping through his note book? Was he able to just re-call all this?)
“Ah…. She is telling lie.” (Who's talking)
“Oh no Mam, the neighbors saw you entering her house. Okay last thing. I got this diamond from your maid’s house, and you are the thief Mrs. Clara. We got your fingerprints there and have enough proof for to be gifted punishment.” (Good check if you need coma's in areas in these sentences. Who's talking? Are the cops approaching her?)
“If I stole the diamond, then why would I come to you?” (Emotion, action. Is Clara putting her hand on her hip in defiance?)
“There is the question, which was answered by my newspaper. One day before you visited your maid’s house, a two million dollar diamond was stole from a jewellery shop, which makes jewellery for the royal family. You came to me so that when I find the diamond at the maid’s house and when I give that to you, the maid will come into trouble and you would have my case file as a legal document that the diamond is yours. So, the cops won’t arrest you. Now, do you have any other excuse, Mrs. Clara?” (Good. I believe Jewelry is miss-spelled. Emotion, action.)
“I want a lawyer” (Emotion, action)
“That I don’t know. From here, the cops would take over.” (Did he motion for the cops to arrest her? Action)
The cops arrest Clara, and everyone leaves the house. Then Alex comes there.
“Good job sir, you have done a good start.” (This can go with the paragraph above. What does he mean by you have done a good start? What is starting? Confusing to the reader.)
“Yes Alex, I have found the black sheep!” (Emotion)
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I liked that the dog was faithful to search out his master no matter what.
Just a few grammatical and spelling errors.
I thought the story was somewhat different. Like you I don't usually read this kind of story. With practice (that we all need) the writing we write will get better.