Hi Jimmy! When I saw the rating on this, I wondered why in the world would someone give this piece a 2.5 rating. As I read it, I realized they were seeing some grammatical errors. Some readers simply look for a good message in a piece while others look for correct grammar, punctuation, etc.
When I read a piece, I look for a good message and also check out the spelling, grammar and punctuation. This is a great piece with a very important spiritual lesson; a lesson you want the reader to be sure to take to heart. If you were simply talking to someone face to face, this would be as near perfect as it could be. However, when reading something, you don't always catch the subject matter as much as the errors; especially if you're actually editing it, which is what this site is pretty much about. I want to encourage you to keep writing.
Writing is good therapy for both the writer and the reader.
I, myself, still have problems with when to use a comma and when it's best not to. Just try using them where you think they might need to go and rest assured, if you use them in the wrong place, someone will let you know.
Later today, I'll try to edit it, making some corrections and suggestions. I'll email it to you.
You've written this well with only one error that I saw. I checked for spelling errors and found none. You have used good strong sentence structure. I found no sentence fragments or run-on sentences.
Gosh! What an interesting read. I don't know which part of this story was my favorite; I enjoyed all of it. I think the humor you used throughout is what kept me hanging on.
I have a question. When you have to go back up on the roof, are you going to use a parachute in case you fall?
I only found two errors.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
In your last sentence of the first paragraph, you forgot to end it with punctuation. This is an error that is so easy to make when we are trying to hurry and get our thoughts written down. I think it's something we all have to keep going back and checking for while editing our work.
I gave this a 5 rating because I found no typos or misspelled words. It's written well. You've used good sentence structure; no sentence fragments or run-on-sentences. You absolutely held my attention from the beginning to the end.
The subject of this little story has pretty much become a family joke. I've heard wedgies called many things in my lifetime, but I heard the word wedgyfor the first time when I was 50 years old; therefore becoming the butte of the joke at the time; and even now.
You've given a good description of the beauty of your new apartment when the sun shines through, making colorful rainbows. You mentioned the bland walls. This goes to prove that sunshine is not only good for the body, but it also lifts the spirit.
I found no typos or misspelled words in this. The way you had it laid out, I thought it was a poem. Since there was no rhyme or rhythm, I decided to go back and check the description. That's when I realized it wasn't meant to be a poem.
Instead of having short lines, it would look better if you just wrote it out in sentence form.
This is written well. I found no typos or misspelled words in it and you held my interest. You've used strong sentence structure, which is also important in a good write.
I have one question. Would you really take a holiday to honor your wife? I like the way you added her to your list.
I found no typos or misspelled words in this piece. You held my interest and that's one sign of a good writer.
Hmmm...nope, I don't think it would work. I'm certainly glad we're not bringing this to a vote. I have one question. Would a generic church house a generic god? I'm sure that's what a lot of folks would like for us to have.
I'm sure you wrote this all in fun. But being serious, I just don't see how a bunch of people worshiping a bunch of different gods could actually worship together. Do you? You think maybe the gods would be jealous? I know the Bible says God is a jealous God. He's a loving, caring God. When disobeyed to the max, he's a wrathful God. Just like our parents or just like us as parents. We love our children and want what's best for them, but we also get very angry with them when they disobey us.
I'm off to see what else is in your port. Oh, by the way, this is a port raid.
Wow! What an enjoyable story. The story plot is great. You held my interest from the beginning to the end. I think my favorite part is the end; not because it's the end of the story, but because all ended well.
I found quite a few errors that you really need to fix, but with a story this long, you still didn't do bad in that area.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
Sonny didn't find his uncle too comforting.This sentence wasn't supposed to be italicized.
Sonny backed up into the shadows as his uncle's killer neared the crate, keeping a firm grip on his crowbar.
His uncle's voice was no longer in his head, but projected around the boxes like the rustling of leaves <--You need a period here. I'm sure this was just an oversight.
You've come up with a might good story for writers' cramp. I don't know how you do it. I remember a few years back, I'd enter once in awhile. I even won once. Of course, that's because for some reason or another I was the only one who entered.
I found and marked a couple errors you might want to correct.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
The remaining eight in his group straggle<--Here you've used present tense, but in the sentence before and the one after it, you've used past tense behind him in single file.
Answer before I’vem forced back to the cave forever.
I gave this a 5 rating. It would be silly to do any different, since the person who wrote it isn't here.
I've enjoyed reading about Lisa Lansing. I always stay a bit confused. I don't know which is fiction and truth. Am I right in thinking it is a bit of both? I know I've asked this before.
Somehow, this diary thing just digs at my curiosity.
I found no typos or misspelled words in this and you've used good sentence structure. Since this is coming from your heart, I can't find fault with the writing content.
You've really told yourself off.
I encourage you to get busy and meet some of, most of or all of your goals. You can do it. I have confidence in you!
I'm not the best at writing or understanding poetry, but I do know this reads smoothly and the rhyme is good.
This has the same effect as a good short story. You've put the reader right there with you (or should I say, right there in your place).
I saw no misspelled words.
It reminds me of the time I had to write a piece telling if worrying about your grades causes writer's block. I wrote about nothing except how worried I was about my grades. Mine turned out well, and I think yours has also.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
PS I'm off to the dictionary to see what a sonnet is.
Good job with the prompt. You told about a dog next door, described his personality, and showed how Harvey affected your character. You held my interest from the first line to the end.
You proved that a cat lady can have room in her life for a dog.
Ahh, those what ifs What if I had found some errors in this piece? Would I have given you a 5? Probably not, but since I didn't find even one boo boo, I feel this deserves the highest rating.(Bet you thought I was going to rhyme. But, I'm just no good at poetry.}
I think my favorite part of this is the last two lines.
Then the other thing I really like about it is the fact that you brought a big smile to my face.
Since I found no grammatical errors in this story, and you managed to hold my interest from the beginning line to the last line, you used good sentence structure and seem to have done all the right things, this deserves a 5 rating. I can't think of anything you could do to improve it.
This was a very interesting story. I found no typos or misspelled words in it. The one thing I noticed that I (and probably all reviewers) really appreciate is that you double spaced between paragraphs.
The story itself was good, but I especially liked the ending. And, by the way, the ending didn't surprise me at all. After all, babies tend to make a difference.
I found no typos or misspelled words in this. I know how quickly you have to get your idea from a prompt and have your story ready in a limited time. You've done a great job.
I would like to make a suggestion. When writing something with any length, it's easier on the reader's eyes when double spaced between the paragraphs.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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Do you? You think maybe the gods would be jealous? I know the Bible says God is a jealous God. He's a loving, caring God. When disobeyed to the max, he's a wrathful God. Just like our parents or just like us as parents. We love our children and want what's best for them, but we also get very angry
with them when they disobey us.
