This chapter seemed much shorter than some of the others, yet you've given a lot of important information.
Wow! A 300 year celebration. It amazes me that people actually keep up with this type information. Of course, I suppose that's one of the reasons for taking minutes at important meetings.
OK. When I first started reading this, I kept remembering your story is religous, fantasy and inspiration. I could see the fantasy. I wondered how in the world you could have called it religous and inspirational. As I read, I began to see it clearly. This is a very good example of...I won't go into the details, because I don't want to ruin it for the person who may read this review.
This is a good introduction to the essay about West Brookfield, MA. I've read all but the last three chapters. You did a good job with this essay. I can understand why you got an A on it.
You gave good detailed description; the pictures added much to it.
I'll try to read the last three chapters tomorrow if I don't finish it tonight.
I don't know what to say, except "ditto" to all I've said about the other chapters.
I've found this to be quite interesting. I can tell it took a lot of hard work to do this. And the thought of using a manuel typewriter. Those were murder, (but I did love typing on them).
You sure seem to have done your homework. I don't know if you put your information into your own words or not, but it sounds like you lived through all this and are telling about it.
I didn't even notice any errors (of course I was pretty engrossed in what I was reading).
This is very interesting. As I read this it reminded me of the lesson I had with the Bible Club kids. They discussed what it takes to build a city. I'm sure they would have found this piece to be interesting and educational.
Again, I'm under the impression that I'm not to point out errors.
This is a very interesting and informative (educational) piece. I know I'm not supposed to be looking for errors in this piece, but out of habit I looked anyway. I found none.
What you say in this really makes a lot of sense. I agree with you about the bullies and the wrong programs being cut, etc.
I don't know a lot about the different forms of poetry, but this strikes me more as a story or informative article.
Would you consider going back and trying it in story form, or commentary? It seems such a shame to let such good information go to waste because it's presented in the wrong way.
Just a suggestion. Don't get discouraged and write on!
This is written well. I found no typos or misspelled words in it. It reads smoothly making for an easy read. There's so much sadness in this piece.
Especially the last verse. I don't quite understand verse 3. But then I'm not the best at poetry.
Keep up the good work and continue writing.
Grandma Penny
This has been most interesting. I almost feel like I've been to the Phillipines. Well, maybe not now, but as I was reading, I felt as though I were right there with you and your family.
I especially like the chapter about the photo, and the secret photo. That was neat. This all seemed so real, I wanted to see the photo for myself.
Well, it gets better and better as I read this interesting novel. I may change my mind before the book ends, but for now, I have to say that this is my favorite chapter. I don't want to talk a lot about it, because I don't want to give it away for whoever may read this review.
Keep writing.
Grandma Penny
clamp the top and bottom edges with my hands, inhales deep
I feel better. Mystery solved; maybe. You've done a good job with this chapter. If there were any typos or misspelled words this time, I missed them because I was lost in the story.
I'm really enjoying reading this. Your description is very good. It's easy to picture myself where the characters are.
Again, may I suggest that you double space between paragraph. It really hurts the reader's eyes to read something this long that is single spaced all the way through.
Don’t you remember the time when the girl’s mother came to your school and grabsbed the girl from your room, and you never saw her again after that?”
Gosh, this was so interesting. I was disappointed with the ending of this chapter. I can't stand unsolved mysteries.
You're still doing a great job.
Keep writing.
Grandma Penny
I'm still enjoying this novel. You're doing a good job with your descriptions; this helps keep it interesting.
With a piece this large, you really need to double space between paragraphs. When you single space between paragraphs, it tends to make the eyes cross and it becomes hard to concentrate on what you're reading.
Sto. Rosario Church.Do mean Sto. Rosario or St. Rosario?
Why ask me for water sir, are so blind?Did you mean to say are you so blind? or are you blind?
This is a beautiful poem. I am familiar with the story of Jesus and the woman at the well. It's a beautiful story and has such a great lesson for all of us.
This is a most interesting chapter. I only found one error. I listed two passages below that seemed to be contradictory. Maybe an oversight, or maybe I misunderstood or just missed something.
I'm still enjoying your novel.. Keep writing.
Grandma Penny
but I guess his money as a physician makes up for the stark contrast in their appearance."
"Isn’t he an engineer?"
"He was an engineering student when we were going out. I don’t know what he’s been doing since we broke up."Aren't we speaking of the same person as the one in the above sentence? The first sentence makes it sound like he became a physician. Or did I completely misunderstand?
First of all, let me say that you are definitely a good writer. There was only one error that I saw in this piece. That makes it so much easier to read.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
Six hours What I normally consider an endless flight time now seems fleeting with William to talk to. I think this is a run on sentence. I'm not quite sure how it should be fixed. Maybe separate Six ours and the rest of the sentence with a comma or semicolon. This is one of those things where I know it's wrong, but don't know how to make it right.
This is so touching. When my first husband had a near death experience, he said his whole life passed by his eyes in a flash.
He prayed "Help me". The doctor working on him, asked what he said. Henry said, "I asked God to help me." At that point, my husband became what the doctors liked to call, their miracle patient.
Then I have known people (one, a very dear friend) who was clinically dead for a while, but came back. She said she didn't remember anything during that time.
The thing I think about most, I believe, is not wanting my children and grandchildren to feel the heavy feeling of my not being here anymore. That's a bad feeling. However, time takes care of that.
wow! That gave me goose bumps. I believe things like this really do happen. I think John's ghost was an angel. He entertained an angel unaware when he gave her the money he thought she needed to feed her baby.
I know this is fiction, but like I said, I still believe things like this really happen.
You have spoken so much truth in this piece. I looked for errors but if they're there, they slipped by me.
I self published a book and sold about 300 copies. Then one of our members on this site bought one. She found two errors in it. I had reprints with the corrections.
I think the only thing that bothers me is when someone reads one of my stories about the Bible Club kids and says something like, "these children are not realistic". Actually, I don't know what to do about that, because those particular stories (most of them) are nothing but accounts of what the kids actually said or did. As far as finding grammatical errors, those I appreciate. I also love when the reader makes suggestions of things I can do with the stories (other than change them).
I think what I'm saying here is, I agree with you. You've done a wonderful job.
This is a very helpful and informative piece. What we as writers need to always remember is that even the best authors have received rejection letters.
"This shows a lot of promise, and I think XYZ Editorial Service can really make it publishable. Here, it sounds like something the writer would have to pay for to get it publishable, then the writer would have to start all over and submit it to publishers. I would beware this type encouragement.
I would also beware of finding agents to help sell my book. I fell for that once. It gets mighty expensive and doesn't usually work out.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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