This is an interesting story. However, I became distracted quite often due to errors. I'd suggest you do what I often have to do. Read it aloud. Check for run-on sentences, sentence fragments, and missplaced commas.
Like I said in the beginning, this is a good story. You just need to polish it up some. I listed a few errors, hoping to help a little.
Keep writing.
Grandma Penny
The only sound disturbing the silence, a creek not far off crashing over stones, running its course.<--I think this is a run-on sentence. You might want to say was a creek...
A wisp of smoke issued from the chimney, the remnants of a once thriving fire now breathing its last and dying out.You might want to check this out in case I'm wrong. But I think you need to separate this with a semicolon instead of a comma.Example:A wisp of smoke issued from the chimney; the remnants...
I just had to give this a 5 rating. I found no typos or misspelled words. Your sentence structure is strong. You held my interest from the beginning to the end. The content seems to have come straight from your heart to the reader's heart.
This was a fun word search puzzle. I found most of the words right away. However, I had just about decided the word chat wasn't there, but I was wrong.
All your words were spelled correctly, which is something I've found not to be true on some of the word searches.
You've done a good job, as usual. I really enjoyed reading this. I found no typos or misspelled words. You certainly held my interest from the beginning to the end.
I've never heard of this tradition. I remember on the first day of May Mama would let me go barefoot. But I don't even remember my first kiss, with or without the tradition.
This is absolutely beautiful. You've done a great job of summing up this story in poem form.
I found no typos or misspelled words in it.
It's still true today. People still cast stones. As I was reading this, I thought of my grandson who has been hurt by others casting stones. The only thing they could find to complain about was the way he dresses. I really wonder what Jesus would have said when the fingers started pointing. I think he would have done the same as he did with this woman you write about.
I look down,
and see you:
my sister,
my oldest friend,
and my newest.
By the above, I take it you were talking to your sister. I didn't have a real sister, but I had a foster sister. I know when we were together, anything and everything was funny.
I hope I understood this piece. I found no typos or misspelled words. I'm not the best judge of poetry, but from what I do know, it looks good.
I can't see any reason why this would not deserve a 5 rating. First of all, I found absolutely no mistakes; no misspelled words; no sentence fragments; no run on sentences. Your sentence structure is good.
Each paragraph leads smoothly into the next one. You've given good detail. I've never been to Texas, but I felt like I was there while reading about the sunsets.
A couple years ago, I moved out of a house that had 5 fireplaces in it (of course only 2 of them were still usable). I hated them. However, you had me yearning to sit by the fire and drink hot chocolate or coffe.
You did a wonderful job of pulling the reader into the story.
Keep up the good work and continue writing.
Grandma Penny
This is a very interesting story. It is written well. I tried to watch for typos or misspelled words. I found none. Of course, I was so engrossed in the story, I could have overlooked something.
This is awesome. I truly believe that angels are looking out for us. I have no doubt that your Norma was an angel. If not, God still used her for your benefit.
Hmmm. This was an interesting poem. I don't know why I was so slow in catching on to this. At first, I thought I was reading something about depression. Then I finally realized what was going on.
I found no typos or misspelled words in this piece.
Keep up the good work and continue writing.
Grandma Penny
I give this piece a and a 5 rating. I honestly don't know what I could suggest that could make it any better than it is. I certainly found no errors in it.
I've visited your port enough that I just can't imagine why or how anyone could give you a bad rating.
You've offered some valuable advice here to not only new members but to all of us.
Keep up the good work and continue writing.
Grandma Penny
I can certainly identify with the contents of this poem. It's hard to lose someone and have to be strong for the children.
I really have a problem, now, with that. I learned when my first husband died, the children and I should have shared each other's grief. You might find something in my port about this type thing. I believe the name of it is "You Can't Tell Me How to Feel." (I hope I'm telling you right in case you want to check it out.)
I found no errors in this.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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