Well now. This is a little wierd. I'm taking it that Jake was in a coma.
I found no typos or misspelled words in this piece. It seems to be a little short, but I realize sometimes stories with promps require only so many words.
Keep up the good work and continut writing.
Grandma Penny
You grabbed my attention early on, and now you almost have me mesmerized. Nothing like a good mystery!
They thought that it was run down old rambling house that would better just to sell.<--Somehow, this sentence just doesn't read right. I think you might have left out a word or two. Maybe if you read it aloud, it will help.
Wow! What a lesson. I found no typo sor misspelled words in this little story. It was interesting. Actually you held my interest from beginning to the end. I'll have to admit, my interest was a little stronger because of your age.
Very well written. This is true. I don't know why folks have such a hard time understanding where the husband, wife, child, etc. fit in. It seems they all are trying to switch roles.
I was taught very strictly. My husband and father of my children had a hard time understanding that for me to be submissive to him or in subjection to him did not mean he had the right to rule me. Since he was a true Christian and studied the Bible, he eventually began to understand.
I don't understand why children or anyone teaching them gets the idea that they should be set foot loose and fancy free without discipline.
If we would just get back to the basics and quit trying to look so smart, it certainly would help, huh?
As far as the way this is written, you've done a good job. I found no typos or misspelled words. It does look like you've done your research.
Deuteronomy 22:5; “A woman must not wear men’s
clothing, and a man must not wear women’s clothing. The Lord your God detests this.” I don't know if you're reading from the New King James version or what. I checked in my King James Version and here is what my version says: The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God. I'd say it depends on what part of the world a person lives. I know in some places the men wear robes rather than pants. Some women wear dresses and some wear skirts and blouses because of their interpretation of this scripture. Yet a lot of blouses pertain to (resemble) a man's shirt.
Again, you've done a good job writing this.
Keep writing.
Grandma Penny
This is a very interesting piece. I think this is one of my favorite Bible stories. Isn't it amazing that after all those years, He still does the same?
I think I like the last line of this best.
Her heart told her that this man must be a Profet!<--I think the correct spelling for this is Prophet
This is just too cute. I thought sure you had really walked away from your job to go to the beach. I know when you opened your eyes after using such a wild imagination, you were truly disappointed.
As it has been with all your writings, this is a very interesting piece.
I found a few things I think you need to work on to make it more acceptable in the publishing business.
Inside are two rooms I'm not sure which you need, but I think you need to separate this with a comma or semi-colonone for sleepingprobably a comma is needed here the other for living.
On Monday eleven souls lived in the cottage on Tuesday there were only ten.I think this is considered a run-on sentence. It needs to be broken down.
Keep up the good work and continue writing.
Grandma Penny
What a clever idea. Those are cute little songs. I'll bet you do have to do a lot of laundry and cleaning with so many siblings. Let me guess! You all share with the chores.
I think you did a great job with this little writing project. I'll try to check out more in your port later.
I see nothing you could do to improve this poem. I found no typos or misspelled words and it reads smoothly. You held my attention from the first line to the last.
It's a beautiful poem and I could feel the gratitude in it through and through.
Grandma Penny
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