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787 Public Reviews Given
787 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
I will not review...
NSFW
Public Reviews
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76
76
Review of Caveat Emptor  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

Whee! I love a good clean playful limerick, and this fits the bill excellently. Your fast-paced flinging out of advertising slogans had me confused for a couple lines until I realized you were stringing together all the different ones.

And you even very considerately list the sources of such at the end. I remember Mom looking up the vintage "ring around the collar" commercials to regale me with... I think I have personal experience with at least 85% of the rest of those products and slogans. (Grey Poupon was actually one of Mom's favorite mustards in my childhood...)

I don't know if I should complain about Comic font here... For what it's worth, Apple has snubbed Comic Sans, replacing it on their mobile devices (which includes iPads) with some absurdly elegant and spidery script called Snell Roundhand. Perhaps I should bring up this compatibility issue with the StoryMaster, because I looked into it and I think there's a way for him to program the site to display the Apple equivalent of Comic Sans, which they call Chalkboard. As a Purple Case, what would you suggest?

Ok, that wasn't much of a review *Laugh* Great poetry here, with a slightly jumpy rhythm, but it conveys the comedic confusion of sales talk well. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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77
77
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

Ah, this is an excellent idea, to gather all the little goals of life and put them in a list. It takes a lot of nerve to lay everything out in public for others to see and judge. What if you don't check off all the things you wanted to? But therein lies the challenge, and the accountability, and the fun.

I see the goals are writing oriented, and since this is a writing website that's natural. It's also admirable that you have so many of them checked off. That's a handy place to keep all the newsletters you've written, and I like the tidiness of the check boxes and the way it's arranged.

There are plenty of chances to achieve the rest of your goals around here; I noticed you haven't entered the Official WdC contests yet, or else you haven't checked them off. Also, you should update the link to the "Good Deeds Get Cash!" Sweepstakes, as the one you have in your list is the old version.

I love your goals for recording your family history and interviewing the elderly; those are worthy things to do for posterity. And it's great that you were able to check off the letters to your kids.

I can see that the love of writing is a big part of your life. It's a wonderful formative hobby.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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78
78
Review of Little Ships  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

Wow, what a story. Harsh and painful and yet we see the young Frenchman survive, bearing those English boys forever in his memory. The sacrifice and the bonds formed lasted a lifetime and left both the narrator and the reader with a vivid impact. The action is tense and keeps us reading breathlessly to the end. I like the historical setting and the use of specific true events as the backdrop for a timeless war story. It’s amazing how they saved each other in so many ways; you’ve built a finely woven tale that won’t soon be forgotten.

I know this is a question that’s difficult to answer after so many years, but is the cover picture the one that was used as the Short Shots prompt? It hardly matters, but I like knowing what the prompt was. Congrats on the well deserved first place win. The font is large and clear, and I don’t have much to suggest. Perhaps instead of the third genre being “Writing.com” it should be “Action/adventure,” since that seems more relevant to the theme. Also, the scene dividers should be centered. Also a couple of super minor typos:

~ quotation mark left off the end of “Can you get Owen and me inside?
~ I paused and now I can’t find the other one *Laugh* don’t worry, it was negligible.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
79
79
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

I found this using the Random Read and Review button.

A nice flash fiction story, with plenty of context explaining the ideas that sparked it. A word count would be nice, as I’m always curious, and if you wanted to submit it to a contest of one sort or another the word count is always required. I like to make a habit of including one in everything so I don’t forget on the important stuff.

I always recommend Size 4 font, and perhaps a font change between the story and the context would be helpful. Or, you could even tuck all the context notes into a click me! ▼ tips and tricks to keep things tidy when working with larger items or smaller ones as well.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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80
80
Review of A bitter betrayal  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

Ah, a brief, almost summary story we have here. I might recommend fleshing it out and turning it into a story of the usual type around here, but the matter of fact, newspaper article style feels mythic and like a fable by itself. (One would think “newspaper article” and “fable” were contradictory… *Confused* *Laugh*)

If you cared to turn it into a longer story and yet are unsure how to do so, you could try bringing it into the restricted point of view of the next door neighbor, who hears something at 7 in the evening and then sees the stumbling burglar. We can then get a feel for the situation of the widow and the importance of the family secret recipe through dialogue with her and the police. Then, the surprise of the nephew being the culprit can be brought up as they view the camera footage. Or you could have it from the PoV of the widow, as the police call her in the evening to inform her of the disaster. This unfolding of actual scenes and real characters is what makes a story come alive, going from summary form to vivid tale of personal woe and betrayal.

There’s a lot of potential in this idea you have. Don’t forget to include a word count, and if the story grows, it’s a good idea to use Size 4 Verdana font around here to ensure readability and compatibility across devices.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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81
81
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

Wow, I feel cold and concerned reading this. I glance anxiously towards the window to make sure the sun is still shining…

A perfect vignette of the consequences of scientific overreach, which, though well meaning, wreaked havoc on the delicate balance of Earth’s climate. It focuses not on some lofty mad scientists in the lab, or on the efforts of others to combat what has happened, but simply tells us about an everyday mother and son whose lives have been forever changed by the loss of spring.

I don’t see much I would suggest changing, except maybe instead of narrating the explanation of why it’s snowing at the end of April, to try and weave it into the story somehow. Perhaps you could have her read the newspaper or turn on the radio and hear a fragmentary mention of the ongoing situation, only to shut it off and retreat into the story of springs past that she is recreating for her son.

This is an excellent story, and I enjoyed reading it.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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82
82
Review of Take My Hand  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

A classic, old fashioned poem we have here, with quaint phrasing that could be thought of as hopelessly trite and corny, but is heartfelt and sincere enough to make an impact on the reader. I feel as though this was written to be read at a wedding. It would look quite lovely written out in fine script on parchment paper and framed as a memory of the great event.

Your meter flows well, almost prosaic in form, like a letter. It’s even signed at the bottom. And the simple repetition of the phrase “take my hand” throughout adds structure and balances the long lines. I always recommend Size 4 Verdana font to create as much clarity as possible and help to focus the words against the busyness of the typical WdC page.

I love a good poem, and a sappy love poem is one of the nicest things to read. I always hope that it comes from the heart and reflects a real physical relationship in the author’s life, rather than being merely a product of the imagination. (Which is how I approach songs and musical artists… some, though perhaps talented, don’t really “speak to us” from their hearts, and I avoid artists who are obviously mere commercialists in their trade.)

As a poem, possibly a personal one, I have nothing to suggest for improvement. I’m easygoing when it comes to poetry, seeing it as a highly subjective art form in which one pours their own emotions, feelings, or a metaphorical narrative to create something memorable and meaningful. I don’t fuss much about rules of meter and form, preferring to judge the quality of a piece on an instinctive level.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
83
83
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Well, this is an ingenious take on the Dear Me prompt. I like how you’ve made a story out of it, even tagging the judges, two of which I’m personally familiar with as well. This has created a time capsule of sorts, reminding you of your goals and dreams, and showing us how hard you have worked to get to the status you now have in this community.

Your persistence and adaptability in the face of changing circumstances is admirable, and you view your accomplishments in a clear and objective light, without boasting or putting anyone down. Your 2010 goals are clear and simple, and by not setting up specific numbers of certain things to reach as you had the previous year, you have allowed yourself flexibility in reaching them and a certain leeway for figuring out if they were met by the end of the year. I suppose the answers are self obvious in seeing your Purple Case and knowing that you occupy a position of high respect here. But have you had anything published yet? I should check your port and see if you mention your publication status.

As a creative personal essay, there is not much I could offer to correct here. Perhaps you should consider using Size 4 font to ensure readability across devices. Also, you did remember to include the word count when you originally wrote this, right? It would be helpful to keep one close to the top or in the subtitle.

Congrats on the second place win. Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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84
84
Review of Colors of Fall  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Found this using the Random Read and Review button. I love a good nature poem, and this has all the essentials of one that is both charming and memorable.

You provide us with lots of beautiful imagery, using metaphors like “shred the sunlight” and “a vagrant
touch of red” to paint the scenes of a quiet autumn moment. I love the observation of the hole where a little critter must be hibernating. And the final lines about feeling at home in nature open up the poem to a new layer of meanings.

I don’t see anything to recommend here; your free verse flows smoothly along the page, and the formatting is good. I rarely have anything significant to suggest about poetry, being hardly an expert on such things as meter and structure. I prefer to view poetry as a highly subjective art form, where we can paint images of what we have in our minds or what we experience in life without worrying about counting syllables or measuring iambic feet. I know a good poem instinctively, and this is one of them.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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85
85
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Phew, that brought back memories of plowing through college level literature textbooks at an early age and wondering why anyone bothers *Laugh* No offense to you or your hard work in writing this - I am after all hanging out on a literature website - but I’ve always had a distaste for stories with dull, heavy themes that have to be pondered deeply upon to try and decipher when the story itself isn’t even very “good,” by which I mean enjoyable, enlightening or overall “positive.” I guess my own fictional writing leans towards childish and saccharine, especially lately. Funny because I was just considering that earlier today.

You’ve done excellent work here, but the way it moves through three different stories and a myriad of different analysis styles makes it feel too brief and “sample-ish” in how it deals with each story and style in just a few simplistic sentences. Perhaps it would have been made stronger by focusing on just one or two stories, or taking more time to dive into each form of analysis. But you probably had a word count to keep in mind, which reminds me it’s always nice to see one at the top of the page so we know what we’re getting into. Also, Size 4 Verdana font is definitely recommended here so it doesn’t feel like we’re reading an interminably boring essay which feels like a used car contract.

Also, one last genre would be a good idea to make it easier to find when browsing - not that anyone would be particularly interested, most likely. Perhaps “Drama” or “Reference” would be suitable.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


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86
86
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Wow, what a tale of pain and suffering, alleviated by the determined efforts of the British army and thousands of helpers.

I’m not sure how much of this is fictional and how much is strictly accurate… that’s the problem with “fictionalized” accounts of historical events. I’m not especially well-read on the horrors of WW2, preferring to keep such distressing stories at arms length. But this sample is excellently written, stating facts of human depravity and the conditions at the camp with clarity but not dwelling upon the gruesome details in a lingering manner. The hope and hard work of the British and all those who came to the salvation of the death camp is emphasized, and the techniques involved in saving the prisoners are interesting. I will have to look up Glyn Hughes to see if he actually existed; as I remarked it’s hard to tell which parts are fictional in such a brief sample.

That first paragraph, though, strikes me as being a bit out of place… how is a historical fiction based on the realities of WW2 also a “horror/fantasy/Stephen King” style story about a “malevolent entity?” I understand the metaphor, but the first paragraph which is presumably an excerpt from the book doesn’t seem to match up with the matter of fact tone of the rest of the sample.

I assume this is an “advertisement” of sorts for the complete book, which can presumably be found on Amazon. Perhaps you should clarify what purpose this item serves and provide us a link to purchase the book. Oh, and the very first mention of a date is in error; you have it down as “British Army stationed in 1980s Germany” when it becomes obvious that 1940’s is meant. I would recommend using Size 4 Verdana font here to make it easier to read and give it a more “important” appearance.

Aside from that I see nothing which I would suggest changing. The sample and background provided makes me interested in finding out more about the book.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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87
87
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Welcome to Writing.com!

This is a nifty piece of writing, inspired by biblical principles and using personification to give voice to the seven sins and portray the destruction they wreak in clear and memorable terms. It’s not quite a poem, but it isn’t a simple list either, having elegant repetition and symmetry with a dash of colors to create visual interest.

We see each of the sins laid out with a sentence describing its effects upon one’s life, from Wrath which “extinguishes life” to Sloth which “suffocates growth with decay.” These are creative and ingenious illustrations of the damage caused by each sin.

I might recommend using Size 4 Verdana font to ensure visibility across devices and to bring the words into clearer focus against the busyness of the typical WdC page. Also, it’s always recommended to choose three relevant genres for your items, to make them easier to find when browsing and to give more opportunities to be nominated for a Quill Award. I would suggest “Spiritual,” “Inspirational” and “Religious,” but there are others.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
88
88
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

I have no idea if this review qualifies for GoT or not, I’m just using the fancy template *Laugh*

First off is something minor and finicky: if you’re going to drop f-bombs, which is perfectly fine, the site prefers you to rate the story 18+.

Second, I spotted a bunch of little typos. I think you wrote too fast. You can run it through Grammarly to tidy it up. Here’s a quick example: "That's OK." She said needs to be “he.” Hmm, I see you’re actually fixing them faster than I can type this up! Good work.

A wild action story with just the kind of stuff we would expect. It reads sort of like a comic book; I can picture the aesthetic of something like that. You have the potential to make something more out of it, or you can leave it at this.

Size 4 Verdana font is usually recommended to ensure readability and compatibility across devices, but don’t feel bad, I say that to almost everyone on the site.

With a bit more character development or something of the sort, you could submit this to "SENIOR CENTER FORUM" … they don’t require any prompts and they take anything under 2000 words. You could request a review from Max Griffin 🏳️‍🌈 via his Crosstimbers Review Forum for advice on character arcs and “goals, stakes, obstacles.”

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
89
89
Review of Eternal Life  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*
*CakeB*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Groan… I forgot to affiliate that last review with Annette’s Anniversary page. Anyway… I’m glad you feel comfortable sharing your beliefs here. Don’t let anyone try to interfere and give you bad ratings just because they believe differently. You haven’t said anything here which most Christians wouldn’t also agree with in a general sense, though perhaps they would argue about the different levels of heaven and whether people are “good enough” to get to heaven but not quite good enough to be with their families.

As you might know, Imagine Dragons lead singer Dan Reynolds grew up in the LDS church, and though he doesn’t hold to much of what they believe anymore, he still likes to say that he’s part of the community and he’s “bringing change from the inside” in relation to LGBTQ rights and loving everyone equally and the youth suicide rate and those serious issues that he feels the church lands on the wrong side of.

I don’t have anything to suggest here, because it’s a personal essay and I’m not too familiar with the LDS beliefs.

Thank you for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
90
90
Review of Tinkering Dreams  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Hi, I’m here to do a couple of Anniversary Reviews to help me finish off Door 20 in GoT. There’s some dispute about whether it needs ten reviews or twenty, and as there’s a limit to how much stink I can raise without being booted out entirely, I wanted to be on the safe side before it’s too late *Laugh* I had no idea the Doors would be closing at midnight tomorrow… Gaby sprung that on us…

Anyway, a fantastic story you have here, full of atmosphere and feeling. We can see everything playing out before us, and it’s “shown not told” quite well. The steampunk elements are carefully woven into the late Victorian era setting, and the dialogue is accurate to a Dickensian extent. I love how Harold has a happy ending, but I do hope he tried to help that poor girl before they parted ways. It was quite distressing to see the abject poverty and desperation she was living in, and the horrors of the sweatshop that Harold was working in are well portrayed.

Was this your own idea, unprompted by any contest? It isn’t often I come across a good steampunk story that wasn’t written to a contest, and the idea of the enormous hat full of gadgets reminded me of last month’s Steampunk contest by Beck. Or was that this month’s…? No, March was the most recent one. Anyway, this was a great read, and I don’t have much to suggest.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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91
91
Review of Parlor  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*
*CakeB*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Oh, this is a nice one. The childish simplicity of the theme is gently developed and drawn along to the happiness of the mature conclusion, as we see the narrator gradually moving through different stages of life, connected by the threads of an ice cream parlor and the gradually evolving metaphor of the sea.

I do love a good poem, and this captures so much of the essence of life. We see the kindness of the narrator’s companion as they buy them ice cream through the difficulties of life. We see a picture of steadfast fidelity as the relationship continues through the years and the metaphors shift to reflect the passage of time.

I would recommend using Size 4 Verdana font to make the most of your presentation here at WdC, as having a small text flanked by the busyness of the sidebars tends to draw attention away from your item. You may even want to center the text or choose a cute shade of pink like the ice cream… but that would probably be too goofy.

I really enjoyed this poem. Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
92
92
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*
*CakeB*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


I love a good poem, and this is nifty, the free verse flowing loosely across the page with a conversational tone as we see one person musing upon the significance of freedom in this great country.

I love how the entire metaphor is built upon the idea of fireworks, sparkling to life and bringing up great truths about freedom. We see the “flammable expressions of rebellion, reformation, or resistance” and are reminded of how important it is to not only state our views, but to act upon them to bring justice and peace and advance the causes of civilization. Your creativity in making such a simple poem that at first glance looks like a run on sentence, but then we see that it’s an acrostic with metaphorical expression that is quite deep, is admirable.

My views on poetry are laidback and easygoing; I see the crafting of a poem as a highly subjective art form, where heart and soul matter more than rigid forms and rules. I detest counting syllables and measuring meter, and since this is a free verse poem, none of that needs to be touched on - which is great because I would have no clue as to advising anyone on those things.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Heartg*.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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93
93
Review of Mr. Nits  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*
*CakeB*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Ah, now here’s a creative way of handling the Dialogue 500 prompt that we are required to do! I love this. Formatting first, you’ll want to use Size 4 Verdana to ensure readability and compatibility across devices. I would also suggest adding a space between each line of dialogue to make it easier to read. Paragraphs are quite important even in a simple item.

Yours is different from mine of course, but perfectly suitable to your situation as a Canadian, who doesn’t have to worry about taxes on April 15th. I went the route of someone who had no income in the previous year because he couldn’t work due to illness; I wonder what other fanciful spins there are upon the prompt. Maybe someday I’ll stop by and read a few after the GoT is over and the dust settles *Laugh* Anyway, I don’t see anything I would correct here; the dialogue is amusing and fast paced and brings the story together clearly towards the punchline at the end.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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Review of Freedom  
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*
*CakeB*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Whee! I’m here with a panicky review to finish the dratted doors with *Rolling* There seems to be some confusion about how many reviews are supposed to be crammed in that last door: I’m absolutely certain Gaby is demanding twenty (*Shock2*) but Annette tells me it’s just ten. At any rate, better safe than sorry, because I had no idea the Doors would be closing tomorrow at midnight. I’m so close!

I love your spin on this prompt. The beavers escaping from the fur farm is heartwarming and exciting, and perfectly suits you as you’re from Canada. We see the aged leader bringing them through adventures and trials to a new more natural and happier life in the wild, and we hope that the ending is a happily ever after. There is a chance they might be found and recaptured.

My story was about a neglected horse… but whatever. I’m surprised you haven’t opened a folder or a book item to hold your GoT stories in. That may be a good idea to keep everything tidy later on. Also, it’s fun to include the specific prompt so people know what you had in mind.

Great story! Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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95
95
Review of Trinity  
Review by
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Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Ah, a poem! I love poetry, especially simple nature poems that have a lot of meaning packed into them.

Formatting first… you’ve left this poem quite small and unimpressive on the page. Perhaps it would look more “poetic” if it were centered, with larger font size and maybe even a color. And we know that a dropnote for your thoughts is a nice tidy idea.

I love the concepts you’ve arranged here, contemplating three different types of birds and comparing them to the variety of human personalities. We see the sparrows, plain on the outside but soaring to surprising heights and nesting in far off nooks and crannies. We see the ravens, and are somewhat unsure about how exactly they “conjure rainbows…” is it a biblical metaphor? A reference to rain and shadows? A reference to how purportedly bright the Corvid family of birds is? We move on to the next line and see swans, with their monogamous relationships, and the conclusion drawn that these three are “like us.” Yet there are so many more birds, beautiful and diverse, and there is much more to humanity than simply these three elements.

Yet, this is a charming and simple poem. I don’t have anything to offer for advice because I’m quite laidback when it comes to poetry. I view it as a highly subjective art form and pretty much anything goes, as long as one puts one’s heart into it.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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96
96
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Hi again!

This is great advice on writing fiction . We see the vivid differences in the writing between your first example and second, and the point of view is brought home with drama and care. Plus we get lots of words from you, explaining the reasoning behind it all.

I chuckled when you said that about the Wikipedia article on France in 1815… I’d probably want to read it myself if I was interested. In fact, I might prefer to read the objective, sterile report of facts rather than the harsh, visceral reality of a story about the situation. Sometimes I shy away from grittiness in my writing, which leads to having a sort of childish, fairytale quality. It’s good to remember that vivid writing is more memorable and meaningful than “bland” writing. I also have tendencies to narrate stories, especially with first drafts. I like to get it down in almost a summary fashion and then dive into the experience from a deeper and more active perspective second time around.

As before, I recommend Size 4 Verdana font.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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97
97
Review of Schrodinger's Cat  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Ah, something brief and lighthearted. I like finding the fun stuff in people’s ports, and this fits the bill quite well. I wasn’t sure what to expect as the cat prowled through the Forbidden Zone… was it the kitchen, perhaps? I wondered. Would a fire break out? But no, instead we get a cat with superpowers, who tries them out on his owner. It’s a bit unclear if the owner’s behaviors are connected to the cat’s “orders” or if it’s simply a matter of habit, but it’s fun to think the cat could be ordering her around. Potential here even for a longer story.

Remember to leave your notes in a dropnote at the bottom, and Size 4 Verdana font… (you’ll get sick of seeing me say it, but I’m just using it as a filler.) I think I’ve done 5 reviews today, and since I like to use the Daily Review Rewards program as efficiently as possible, that’ll be it for today. I’ll come back tomorrow with two more, if all goes well.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


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98
98
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

An amusing story we have here, of a bad boy learning a lesson from his favorite Star Wars characters on Christmas. It was well written for a first draft, with little details that brought it to life. I don’t know much about Star Wars, but I chuckled at the way you captured Yoda’s unusual language patterns.

The story is simple and memorable. Timmy stands out somewhat from the usual young brat because he seems to be more manipulative, perhaps indeed brighter. If he were older I would almost say he displays psychopathic tendencies, but he does repent nicely at the end and resolve to do better, encouraged by Yoda.

There are instances when reviewing where I feel tongue tied… what am I supposed to say? You incorporated the target word quite well by putting it in the mouth of one who talks strangely anyway. A little tweaking, tidying up perhaps, and you could probably submit this to a holiday contest someday.

I usually recommend Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and accessibility across devices. You could also move the background section to a dropnote, either at the top or the bottom.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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99
99
Review of Short Bio  
Review by
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Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Hi, Max. I’m sure you’ve noticed the hullabaloo taking place within the halls of WdC. I’m here to review five of your items so I can “open a door” in this activity. Blame Gaby ~ Finding my way back *Laugh*

It’s nice to get to know you a little better. I appreciate your background in math and remember the joke that goes around during the holidays about “happy holidays” in algebraic language. I see that a love of reading runs in your family, since your daughter is a digital librarian. Perhaps a link to your website to learn more about you might be a good idea. I remember visiting your website recently and being impressed (or maybe slightly amused) by the published book covers, so the link must be around somewhere.

I’d like to take the opportunity to thank you for your patient advice about every story I’ve offered through your Crosstimbers Review Forum. Your advice has been invaluable, and I usually end up making some last minute changes to incorporate it before the contest deadline *Laugh* which reminds me, there’s only a few days left to write for this month’s Quotation Inspiration! Eek *Shock2*

Thanks for being here. Your presence is greatly appreciated. Take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
100
100
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Ah, pets. Everyone has stories about beloved animals, even if they don’t actually own any. Pet stories are a classic way to make friends and share memories. This is a good idea, and it would be fun to see if something of the sort is still active on WdC. Hmm, I think there is a contest running where we can submit items about pets.

I’m on a mission to review 5 closed forums, and I found this one by looking through the “oldest first” option in the search engine. I see forums in those days were very “Spartan,” with little in the way of fancy formatting or even very large font. Nowadays people strive to make their forums as colorful and engaging as possible before one even reaches the comment section. They also function as places to host contests, as well as daily check-in spots for people to chat and see who else is active. I assume you are no longer active around here. Very few people from twenty two years ago are, or even just ten years. I do see you still have an upgraded account, which is a good sign. I’ll have to check out your portfolio sometime soon.

Thanks for being here at the beginning, take care, wherever your journey has taken you all these years, and as I tell everyone here, keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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