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Review by morlock Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (1.5)
A good way to improve your storytelling would be to convey information through story situations or imagery instead of just stating facts. For example:

"I am 17 years old, 6’3, and 205 pounds."

Hmm, I don't think readers are interested in numbers. To be honest, this is a very boring sentence. Wouldn't it be more interesting to read something like this instead?:

"It's almost as if I were born for football. Along with at trained and conditioned body, my height towers over the rest of my classmates: a jaw-dropping six-foot-three. Due to my size, people can hardly believe that I am only seventeen years old."

This doesn't convey every detail (and, you don't need to), but it's definitely more interesting. It helps the readers form images in the minds rather than making it feel like they are reading a school textbook.
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