Let me start by saying, thank you for this. I do not know a lot about poetry and this helps.
Line count: 12
Form: Rhyming Couplets are two lines of any length and syllable count that rhyme.
Now onto the poem. I am not a creative person so please bare with me, but shouldn't line 9 be If we HAVE faith to stand our ground? Maybe I am just not understanding that part.
You did however make me look up literary terms, and I believe the one I am looking for is meter I always called it flow), it seems to be off to me, but again, this could simple be me reading it incorrectly.
As for the content, this is where this piece shines for me. I thought that some of the symbolism's were really clever like hatred's horde and hate's battalions. It invoked a feeling of being overwhelming, which hate can definitely be. Those two allowed for you to reused the same feeling without sounding redundant.
Also, you really covered just about everything that is against love in 12 short lines. Despair, panic, fear, doubt, terror, temptation, and loneliness, To me it is extremely impressive to be that descriptive without being busy or feeling forced.
I had to look up what Swedish fish candy was and I think it is like a gummy bear? First lets start with punctuation. I am not sure that a comma belongs here, "I pointed to them," , and too many commas here I think as well. "Swedish fish candy, can still make me feel warm, with memories of my childhood, " but I am definitely not an expert on it. I am not sure if you needed any commas in the last sentence. Unless you were using it like a pause effect, which is the way it made me read it.
I was absolutely clueless what you were talking about until the last line but I was there with you the whole time.
I think that anyone in the professional world has witnesses a scenario just like this. I am not much for poems, but I must say that you captured that scene perfectly. One thing I really liked about it was the lack of detail of her specifically. It allowed me to apply this to my experiences exactly so your poem became my experience. Very well done.
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